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  1. #1
    liukang75 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default If you want her back then read this!!!

    So, I wanted to share what I’ve learned over the years about what to do while you’re going through a break-up. If your girlfriend says “we should take a break”, or “I’m just not in love with you anymore”, or “it’s not you, it’s me”—then here is what I want you need to do: Agree with her. Sounds crazy, I know! You’re probably thinking this guy is nuts! Why would I tell the woman that I’m in love with that I’m o.k. with us being over?!! Well, here’s why: everyone wants what they can’t have.

    Have you ever watched a little kid play with a toy? They get bored with it, set it down, and then as soon as another kid show’s interest they want it back again. Everyone does this, it’s just human nature. If you understand this rule and apply it to your break-up then you will be one step ahead from the get-go. You are now like that toy in the example mentioned earlier. I’m not a fan of breaks and here is why: every woman has orbiters. Sorry to break it to you but that’s just the game. Chances are some guy has been waiting for you to fark up so that he can nail your girlfriend. By putting you on a break she is now able to possibly explore a sexual relationship with someone else while you’re safely on the back burner.

    If you exit the situation you force her to go it alone without you, which is very scary to women because they don’t have the emotional support any longer. This is why they ask for “breaks” to begin with. Breaking up with her is counter-intuitive but it is the only way to do things if your woman is this far gone anyways.

    Next, I want you to give her plenty of space. She asked you for it right? Well, give her what she wants. She will respect you for it later even if you two don’t end up getting back together. You don’t want to be the guy who calls non-stop begging and crying for her to come back. It’s not attractive and it won’t bring her running back into your arms. This is the real world, not the movies so forget what Hollywood has taught you about women. Save face, and walk away with your dignity intact.
    Take her off the pedestal! Make a list of all of her faults. This will help you put everything into perspective. Do you really want her back? Sometimes break-ups happen for the best. Maybe she just isn’t the one for you. You won’t really know until you let her go and spend some time thinking on your own. Remember that universal saying, “if you love something, let it go”?

    This is just life. You win some, and you lose some. Work on yourself, learn the game, get some exercise, spend time with family and friends. Stay away from her Facebook page! Don’t torture yourself! This time is all about you—you’re now free to do whatever the hell you want to—including nailing other women! If she still hasn’t contacted you after 3-4 weeks and you have decided that you still really want to be with her then you better have learned some things by this point. If you waste this time apart by drinking too much and wallowing in self-pity then don’t bother contacting her. If you’ve done things right then go ahead and drop her a message inviting her to have coffee with you or something small like that. If she agrees then make sure that you’ve got your game together and meet with her.

    Don’t bring up the relationship! You should just focus on having a light conversation with her and showing her the “new you”. Remember how you were when you started dating her? She can fall in love with you again but you have to be that guy! If things go well during this meeting then you will set yourself up for future meetings. Learn how to be an alpha and you will know what to do after that. Good luck!

  2. #2
    jackstraw98 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: If you want her back then read this!!!

    this was a good read for me.....i think ive been doing too much self pity lately even while i realize I should be working on myself and getting better. my situation was weird because she dumped another guy for me then felt bad and dumped me (presumably for him, though I'm not sure if they are working it out or not). if we do ultimately get together and she brings up the relationship, how should I approach it?

  3. #3
    Rod27 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: If you want her back then read this!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by jackstraw98 View Post
    this was a good read for me.....i think ive been doing too much self pity lately even while i realize I should be working on myself and getting better. my situation was weird because she dumped another guy for me then felt bad and dumped me (presumably for him, though I'm not sure if they are working it out or not). if we do ultimately get together and she brings up the relationship, how should I approach it?
    You say you would love to talk about it one day, but some other time....or you say let's not rehash the past cuz it's water under the ridge.


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