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  1. #1
    uksociology is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default no contact advice for ex-gf of 5 years

    I've been with my gf for 5 years recently she split with me, said she didnt see it going anywhere. so i started no contact and except from bumping into her the other day, where i kept it polite, ive had no contact with her.

    i went out last night for some drinks and got back late around 2am, went to the bathroom came back and my dog had eaten my food. so i updated my facebook saying 'great start to a birthday!!' sarcasm from my point of view.

    i got a text from my ex at 6am!!

    'happy birthday, im glad you had a good start whatever it was. maybe i don't want to know. anyway i'm sorry its early i hope you have a good day and a good night tonight'

    i also know she asked one of our close friends if he was going out for drinks with me tonight and that she bumped into me but i never invited her.

    should i remain NC after this message, if i stopped now do you think it would all reset the progress i've made?

  2. #2
    T-Mal's Avatar
    T-Mal is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: no contact advice

    I would continue the no contact phase for a while.
    It's not the easiest thing to do...especially at first; but it's definitely the most effective.

    Then in the meantime you need to "do you"... meaning: do the things you enjoy doing. Be social & hang out with other people & just have fun again.

    Then, you'll start to notice your mood is upbeat & your whole attitude & outlook on life in general becoming more positive & confident.

    When that happens, your body language reflects the change & you become more attractive to women in general.... including your ex.

    At that point, you'll probably have the option of getting back together if you want to..... or, you may discover you have many more options & decide to leave things be.

    But it will be YOUR choice, and nobody else's.

    That's a great position to be in.


    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  3. #3
    liukang75 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: no contact advice

    I would continue to stay in nc. When a woman falls out of love and leaves you, nc is the only way to bring them back from the dark side. You may not want her back but it feels good to keep the ball in your court. Sounds like she really took the bait on that b-day status update even though it was unintentional. I would be ready for anything she throws at you from here on out.
    “The great mistake is to anticipate the outcome of the engagement; you ought not to be thinking of whether it ends in victory or defeat. Let nature take its course, and your tools will strike at the right moment.” -Bruce Lee

  4. #4
    liukang75 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: no contact advice

    Correction, dating another woman is probably the best way but that can backfire if done in a way that makes her think you're dating the other chick to get back at her. No contact is the safest way I guess.
    “The great mistake is to anticipate the outcome of the engagement; you ought not to be thinking of whether it ends in victory or defeat. Let nature take its course, and your tools will strike at the right moment.” -Bruce Lee

  5. #5
    baltazar is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: no contact advice

    i m in nc for some time. as others already said, go out and do what you like to do. believe me, you will feel great after some time. my ex went to another man, so i hope she will contact me someday

  6. #6
    DandyLion's Avatar
    DandyLion is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default

    tmalonetn,

    I think you should stay with the no contact rule.

    Trust me, I know how hard it is to not text back, especially if she gives the text that comes off like a sick, mangy puppy dog, just trying to seek your affection. But don't talk to her.

    You need time to sort through your feelings, figure out what you really want. She's just one girl, as much as what you may have felt for her.

    Trust me, I had a girlfriend for 17 months, and then spent almost 3 years after that trying to win her back. It's the biggest waste of time. She eventually just told me to fark off, and it kind of opened my eyes. But what really opened my eyes was realizing she was just another girl, and why would I want to be with someone that doesn't even like me?

    Regards,

    DandyLion

  7. #7
    kathyjoyce's Avatar
    kathyjoyce is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: no contact advice

    Keep it no contact for a while longer, but if she contacts you again by text or phone continue to be polite. If she asks you to meet up with her play it cool and don't be too available. Keep an air of mystery and this will fire up her interest in you again. We all want what we can't have.

  8. #8
    maxtheButler is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: no contact advice for ex-gf of 5 years

    Clearly she is not over the relationship. Did you respond to her text message?


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