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  • 1 Post By liukang75

Thread: Need help with three year relationship

  1. #1
    TotalDedication45 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Need help with three year relationship

    OK, to start this thread off, I am still currently with my girlfriend, we are also best friends... she has never really been good with people and really doesn't have anyone but me and a few acquaintances. We are both going off to college, and she has decided that she wants to be alone for a while to deal with all of the stress and work involved with starting college (our colleges are less than an hour away, and we would still be able to see each other on at least a weekly basis if things work out).

    She has told me on many occasions that I am the best guy she has ever met, and no one can compare to me. She says that I make her so happy. She told me that she wants to stay friends but there is a possibility for us to get together in the future, and that she never wants to lose me (I am very good to her, cater to her needs, treat her like a princess. She says she loves that about me, and is really what she looks for in a guy. Every other guy she has dated treated her like trash and ended up breaking her heart). As of now I plan on NC after we go to college, telling her that I cannot be friends with someone I am in love with. I still love her more than the world, and really have no interest in anyone else. Originally she came onto me, and we really hit it off, she was crazy about me but to be honest i probably screwed it up with insecurity and anger problems that are unrelated.

    When she originally told me that she wanted to be alone, I was very confused. because of some things i'm not going to mention (let's just say I needed to know the truth, and i found it) I have a suspicion that she is lying to me, and has been obsessing over another person while we were dating, whom has completely rejected her. I have confronted her about this, and called her out on her lies. She just keeps saying that she was just interested in him for a few days and eventually lost interest (I've always heard the phrase trust your gut instinct over anything else, and my gut is telling me that she is lying. She said she had an unhealthy obsessions with him in her own words, saying that she wishes he was into in her, and is now saying that she was just interested in him. They're going to the same college and she was planning on seducing him in order to start a relationship with him).
    A week before I found out the true reason she is breaking it off, I told her i needed some time alone to learn to be happy without her in my life(I mean, she's dumping me and playing mind games, I felt as if this was the best way to get over the situation). Within this alone period I found out she had been engaging another guy about a week before she decided to tell me she wanted to be alone after the summer. Within two weeks she sent me a text stating that she could not stop thinking about me, and that she really wants to see me. I gave in, and things were going very well, until I told her that i knew the truth. She got very upset at herself, and pretty much broke down after I told her everything, but would not admit to lying. She continues to say that she just wants to focus on her studies.

    I have been noticing that I have been acting very clingy and she is hesitant to talk to me sometimes, which is a natural reaction for a woman. I have made the mistake of telling her I would do anything for her, that I am depressed, and have broken down a few times. But when we see each other in person we are both so happy together, and she never wants me to leave.

    First off she is not like most girls..she does not like many people, and is a very cynical person. She does not like society as a whole and is disgusted by human beings.

    As of now, we will be together for another two, maybe three weeks before we go to school. What should I do if I really want to get her back? What should I say to her on our last night together?

    I appreciate any help you guys can provide me.

  2. #2
    liukang75 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need help with three year relationship

    Ouch, sorry you have to go through this man. This is very typical of girls to do before they go off to college. It sounds like your young so you will recover quickly and years later you will probably laugh at this situation and how naive you were about women. You did several things wrong... Never put a woman on a pedestal! Treating a woman like a princess isn't what keeps them with you. Also getting angry and jealous won't keep them with you either. You have alot to learn about the game my friend. Don't take it personally, I'm still learning these lessons and I'm in my mid-thirties! I would enjoy the last few days with her but let her go in the long run. No contact will help you heal. If you learn pua techniques, a couple of months from now you will be knee deep in primo tail and she will be a distant memory. Handle this break-up correctly and who knows, you might have a shot with her later on if you choose. Good luck!
    “The great mistake is to anticipate the outcome of the engagement; you ought not to be thinking of whether it ends in victory or defeat. Let nature take its course, and your tools will strike at the right moment.” -Bruce Lee

  3. #3
    liukang75 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need help with three year relationship

    Btw, I would change your name. I could be wrong, but it seems like it's just an affirmation of your dedication to this girl. This way of thinking will only set you back.
    “The great mistake is to anticipate the outcome of the engagement; you ought not to be thinking of whether it ends in victory or defeat. Let nature take its course, and your tools will strike at the right moment.” -Bruce Lee

  4. #4
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    kathyjoyce is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Need help with three year relationship

    It sounds like you are both still very young and these intense feelings are common in younger people as you still lack life experience. Don't put her on a pedestal as she is only human. Let her go to college and date other guys, and don't chase after her. Forget her for a while and just get on with your life and you may find that she is keen to see you when she gets home and has missed you. I hope it all works out for you...


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