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Thread: Need advice on next move with ex - she broke NC now pulling away

  1. #21
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    Default Re: Need advice on next move with ex - she broke NC now pulling away

    I have posted some pics on facebook but i have deleted her so not sure she will see them without her having to go digging around! I am def making sure i have some fun and have arranged another weekend away before i deploy later on in this month, i will be away for two months but will be promoted on my return and onto a new post which is a really positive step. Ive been feeling pretty good about the break up bizarrely over the last week , still get those slightly panicked moments that im missing about but then got reminded by a few girls that im actually awesome and its her loss! One question though is after sending a negative messagelast time around to my ex do i need to send a more up beat, closed message so that she has a more positive mental image of me before i go into the next two months of NC? Or simply let it be?

  2. #22
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    Default Re: Need advice on next move with ex - she broke NC now pulling away

    I did post up some pictures from the weekend but having deleted her on FB she would have to go digging on my friends walls to see them! I have definately made the effort to get out and have some fun and have made plans for this weekend as well. It has been a breath of fresh air not feeling the need to check online every ten minutes to see what she is up to! I deploy at the end of this month for about two months so will naturally have a period of NC but get promote don my return and onto a new post somewhere again all positive moves she will be aware of. One question though, i ended our last conversation with a fairly negative message, should i send one last closed but positive message to create a better mental image before going into two months of NC or let sleeping dogs lie??

  3. #23
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    Default Re: Need advice on next move with ex - she broke NC now pulling away

    She just texted and asked me what things from the house I wanted back and not to contact her!! I've been in no contact with her for three days!! WTF??

  4. #24
    Victory37 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need advice on next move with ex - she broke NC now pulling away

    girls are so complicated, im over it

  5. #25
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    Default Re: Need advice on next move with ex - she broke NC now pulling away

    Ok here's an update just so you guys can see how stuff develops and maybe use it as an example however it turns out... Good or bad as we are all here to learn!

    I woke up to these messages this morning, "I wouldn't and wasn't planning on throwing anything. I can get stuff together and give to lads at bar if you'd rather. I didn't mean i didnt want to speak again i don't know why you're making this into something it's not.

    Yep I'll pack it all up and text me when back. I would hope you know i wouldnt just throw stuff so cheers for that. I just see it as I needed space and understanding, you wouldn't give it to me, I don't think thats love, end of.all this is just making things more dramatic than needed."

    I did reply unfortunately with "Cool thanks. Guess both see it from different perspectives and didn't understand what each other needed at time, no worries though ... No more dramas! Got to run*"

    I've run out of time to actually meet with her know but seems I have got a reaction out of her at least
    I'm nervous and feeling the separation for sure but am away so should remain occupied to beat down any beta tendencies ... Any advice would help however, looking for some reassurance I'm doing tge right thing in Freezing Her Out, pushing etc. are these how I should expect her to react?
    I've now firmly set myself target of NC for at least 3 weeks ... Let's see what happens!

  6. #26
    liukang75 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need advice on next move with ex - she broke NC now pulling away

    You're doing the right thing by Freezing Her Out. I know that this all seems counter-intuitive but it works most of the time... There are no guarantees that she will come back to you but nc helps you heal tremendously and it shifts the balance back in your favor. She knows that you want to be with her but you have the strength not to chase, and that my friend is attractive to her. Just really try to move on and heal and I think you'll be suprised by the results that you get. Focus on perfecting your soul... I think that break-up's, as painful as they may be--are an important part of life because you learn so much about yourself because of them.
    “The great mistake is to anticipate the outcome of the engagement; you ought not to be thinking of whether it ends in victory or defeat. Let nature take its course, and your tools will strike at the right moment.” -Bruce Lee

  7. #27
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    Default Re: Need advice on next move with ex - she broke NC now pulling away

    Ok guys it's been the first week of NC, mixed emotions generally. Had my ups and downs but resisted contact and has helped removing Facebook etc from the equation but still have floods of paranoia o er her meeting someone else etc ... Any advice on how to cope with such feelings? I'm deployed so have no clue what's going on back home although friends will let me know should she hook up I guess. I'm trying to beat any feeling of jealousy ( one of reasons we broke up!) and wonder how to react when I return on two mOntha if this is the case. Also how should I reestablish contact when I get home?

  8. #28
    liukang75 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need advice on next move with ex - she broke NC now pulling away

    There's nothing that you can do. Just let her do her thing and try not dwell on it. I know it hurts and you're jealous but every time you get a negative thought like that just go to your happy place--wherever that may be. I know that sounds funny but it works if you practice. When you have down time, read up on everything that you can that is game-related. I would focus now on getting over her. When you get back in, you might not even want to rekindle the relationship but if you do, you'll be in a good place emotionally to do it. You could just send her a message like "hey, been thinking about you lately--wanna meet for coffee?". Start gaming chicks on facebook for practice while you're deployed. There's all kinds of facebook game stuff on here. Hang in there man!!!
    “The great mistake is to anticipate the outcome of the engagement; you ought not to be thinking of whether it ends in victory or defeat. Let nature take its course, and your tools will strike at the right moment.” -Bruce Lee

  9. #29
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    Default Re: Need advice on next move with ex - she broke NC now pulling away

    Hey guys,
    Just updating how its going. I've been away now for almost weeks and have stuck rigidly to have stuck rigidly to no contact including not even liking FB pics of nights out with our mutual friends etc. It has been seriously difficult at tines and hacmve freaked out quietly in the corner but managed to jeep any negatives thoughts to myself. I've been getting plenty of female attention and managed a Number Close in my first week away which has picked my confidence back up and helped divert my attentions. A close friend had dinner with my ex and said that whilst didn't bring up me and her it was obvious she wanted to talk about it, but i had given clear instruction not to. He said she was putting on brave face and talked enthusiastically about work but seemed unhappy in general and more importantly isn't seeing anyone else despite having a few orbiters and having a few wild nights out. He is seeing her at dinner next week with his wife and planned to bring up the subject then, focusing on adding a bit of social value to my image and telling her subtly that she has made a mistake in not trying to patch things up. He said he thought the no contact was having the desired effect and was starting to miss me. So big question is ... What now? I'm keeping up the no contact and will wait out to see what get said at dinner. However do I break the no contact after that to get a butt of momentum back? Any advice?

  10. #30
    Shortman is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need advice on next move with ex - she broke NC now pulling away

    Sounds like your doing good... I would wait and see what your friend says after they speak. It's nice to have someone like him who can keep you in touch while your gone. I would continue to focus on your job and such, no sense making more drama or rehashing up things yet if your not ready for it. I'm learning as weeks go by it gets better and better, eventually you will be in a place where if you do see her again, you will be "changed" and back to the person she originally fell in love with.


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