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Thread: Need advice on next move with ex - she broke NC now pulling away

  1. #31
    Bctemplar's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need advice on next move with ex - she broke NC now pulling away

    The worst has happened ... My buddy had dinner with my ex, she said she is actually scared to talk to me as I'm too intense despite it being over 4 weeks of no contact. Also she is going on a date with another soldier on Saturday whilst I'm away. I'm bmnit sure what to do other than admit defeat. She claims to still think about me everyday and worries about me but I'm really not in a good emotional place after heating this news and I'm supposed to call her n arrange to pick up my stuff in four weeks when I get home. I'm seriously considering volunteering for another rotation in afghan and getting an overseas post when I return .. Can't be around to endure the painful thoughts n memories ... Sorry guys feel let you down too

  2. #32
    Victory37 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need advice on next move with ex - she broke NC now pulling away

    hey man im right there wth you, about to throw in the towel.. im not sure yet, but i'll be pulling for you as well..

  3. #33
    MrDiesel is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Need advice on next move with ex - she broke NC now pulling away

    That really sucks to hear..... You still have 4 weeks to see if anything changes though, maybe see what happens before you completely give up?

  4. #34
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    Default Re: Need advice on next move with ex - she broke NC now pulling away

    well things def didn't go according to plan ... She apparently thinks about me everyday but is worried contact will mean talking about past which makes her cry (as she did on the night he met her) and to cap it off she had a date with s guy last night ... Now I'm trying to move on too .. I f closed twice last week as my ego needed a serious boost and have a girl really eager to date me back home who chat to most days but none of these things are either fulfilling or on a similar emotional level to my ex. Am I rushing into other relationships and is it the end of the road with my ex? We aren't talking, aren't really connecting as friends due to our issues despite a ten year history and now she's gone on a date just two months after we broke up? Hate to sound like its a defeat ...Can I get her back from this other guy?

  5. #35
    Saund128 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Need advice on next move with ex - she broke NC now pulling away

    A date is a date dude. If you guys truly had a great relationship it's probably a good thing she is dating. So she can see how much better you are than him.

    I went into no contact with my ex for a month and a half. I did all the right things, like workout, improve my looks, and find other girls. I knew my ex was interested in this other guy, might even be why we broke up. So a month and a half rolls by and I decide to chat a bit thru email accounts. A week later I ask to get some coffee. A couple weeks later we are in a wedding together and have a great time. Now I don't know where we are at.

    If you are going to arrange a meet with her. You need to act like you are fine or just be fine. Ask her about what she has been up to, as if you don't know. Don't bring up the old relationship. Just have a friendly conversation. If she brings the old relationship up then be accountable for the things you did wrong in the relationship. Make her feel comfortable.

    If you can look past all of BS you hear about and the dating and look at it simply: Be a better man than anyone she can get. Be confident and level headed. Demand her respect through your actions.

    Don't get me wrong, if you truly want her back than be ready for a long process. There will be ups and downs. Just a week ago I was getting lost with my ex on the wedding dance floor, now I am paranoid that she is still interested in this guy.

    She will throw sh1t tests at you, just pass every one of them with flying colors. Its ok to feel down, just don't show it. Talk to a counselor or family but don't give her any idea you are feeling low.

    Best of luck

  6. #36
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    Default Re: Need advice on next move with ex - she broke NC now pulling away

    That was a pretty inspirations post brother .. I def am better than any one else she could possibly date and will atrive to prove it if only to myself ... Think I'm back in the fight! I called her earlier and she answered .. Think caught her off guard, cleared the air and hopefully I can get a meet date when get home in three weeks - thanks for the kick in the ass saund!

  7. #37
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    Default Re: Need advice on next move with ex - she broke NC now pulling away

    keep up the battle dude sounds like you are regaining the momentum too .. Good luck and looking forward to hearing your success your on here soon

  8. #38
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    Default Re: Need advice on next move with ex - she broke NC now pulling away

    Word of advice. If you do get together, do not jump the gun on thinking she wants you back. And do not text her after the get together. Wait until she does. If she had a good time she will eventually contact you. When she does continue to be scarce, don't let her think she can have you back at the snap of a finger. Make her work for it. Finally, always have control of the conversations. Try and be the one to end all convos. Be in control.

  9. #39
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    Default Re: Need advice on next move with ex - she broke NC now pulling away

    ok so i got home this weekend and feel like ive kind of moved on, celebrated my home coming and hooked up with a girl i met just before i left. Feeling pretty positive about the future despite hearing my ex has been on a couple of dates .. im looking to move overseas in about six months time. Trouble is my ex has just started re-adding me on the various IM type which confuses me ... we agreed to no contact, we removed each other from these so as to make it easier - why the turn around? Ive not bothered to contact her and am expecting her to drop off my belongings to a friend which she hasnt done and its been two months! I plan to keep my distance and see what happens as its her birthday in a few weeks so gonna keep on having very overt fun!

  10. #40
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    Default Re: Need advice on next move with ex - she broke NC now pulling away

    do i also let the birthday go by without any mention??


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