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  • 1 Post By liukang75

Thread: My first girlfriend broke my heart, great help needed :(

  1. #1
    mitkoberba is offline PUA in Training
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    Default My first girlfriend broke my heart, great help needed :(

    We have been together for 4 months. we ended it almost 6 months ago. I initiated the breakup because I felt that she didn't love me anymore, one month passed and I told her that I would love to be together with her again, then found out that she has found a new man, and they are still together.

    I have made an effort to move on, but Im still not over this.I have tried everything, didn't have a look on her facebook for like 2 months, then one of my friends showed me what she and his new boyfriend are doing on facebook, kissing, hugging, laughing everywhere... it is killing me. I haven't initiated contact with her for like 2 or 3 months now (she writes sometimes) but i still havent moved on.

    When Im out with the guys or meeting women Im fine, im having a great social life, better than ever, I work out regularly, do some running in the evenings, but when there is nothing to do im f*cked. I have to do some sport, be with my mates or women, otherwise im like depressed. I can't even progress with my studies normally because of i cant get it out of my head.

    I have sometimes felt that I don't want her back anymore (there were WEEKS like this, honestly), but it after some time it gets at me again. I think im still in love with her.

    Please help!

  2. #2
    ridemyr1 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: My first girlfriend broke my heart, great help needed :(

    Sucks dude. Been there but you have to keep moving. You probably did love her and that could be whats making it hard. I mean shit theres this chic I still miss but at the end of the day you have to worry about you. For me what helps is doing my best to stay busy with work and stuff. During down times I burn energy and run. At the end of the day you will always feel some type of love down the line but it will get easier with time.

    If theres better input I would love to hear it!
    To my bros who served with me.
    "When it comes your time to die, be not like those whose hearts are filled with the fear of death, so that when their time comes they weep and pray for a little more time to live their lives over again in a different way. Sing your death song and die like a hero going home.

  3. #3
    1000steps is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: My first girlfriend broke my heart, great help needed :(

    Keep that active social life you have, it's healthy. But also remember that you have a purpose in life. If you're lucky this purpose is connected with your studies so do remember that you must move on with it.

    In short: When you're on your own, reconnect with your own purpose.

    You owe this to yourself.

  4. #4
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    BatMan is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: My first girlfriend broke my heart, great help needed :(

    Not sure if you have given yourself time to grieve, but if you haven't then now's the time. If you have and its still bothering you then read on.

    It feels like a failure that it didn't work out. You want another chance to make things right the way you intended it. Because you know that things will be different now and even better than before.

    This is something you will have to let go. Accept the fact that it ended for a reason and you will meet someone new that won't have a preconceived notion of who you are and you will get another chance to show your new self with someone new. Life doesn't always give you the closure you want and this you will also have to let go. I have a few experiences where I wish I had answers, but there's really know way to get them.

    It would bother me also to see my ex happy with someone else. Flip the script and she would be upset you were happy with another woman while she still didn't meet anyone.

    Alot of this is about accepting that you are human and are going to make mistakes and that's ok because there are always brighter days just around the corner. Luckily we live in a world where women come often and many of them are very special and could easily beat out your ex. Focus on what you want in your new woman and accept your situation. Hope this helps and good luck.

  5. #5
    liukang75 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: My first girlfriend broke my heart, great help needed :(

    There are some self-visualization techniques that you could use that might help. While you're running, visualize every step that hits the ground as an action that releases her hold over you. Run her out of your heart. I did this years ago while going through a bad break-up and it helped... It made me run harder and I got into serious shape as a result!
    The great mistake is to anticipate the outcome of the engagement; you ought not to be thinking of whether it ends in victory or defeat. Let nature take its course, and your tools will strike at the right moment. -Bruce Lee

  6. #6
    ItsRaySuper is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: My first girlfriend broke my heart, great help needed :(

    I had a 4 yr relationship of mine go down the same way.. They had a baby a few months ago. Still love her... Always will. If i can do it.. So can you.

    Im happy as hell with my life... Took some years but it will pass bro. ON TO THE NEXT.

  7. #7
    Volkov-V2 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: My first girlfriend broke my heart, great help needed :(

    Hey bro

    It's ok I'm in the same position. I just found out my Ex is going out with this guy I know, but I know it's hard the best advice I can give you is remember if you have an closest friends only tell him, and smile I know it's hard I only just found out today about my ex and it's killing me as we speak, but remember if you smile and bring urself up you'll show everyone that your a new person and all that positive energy will shine , and you never know you may even attract someone with that light. without sounding to cheesy, but you get my pic, just relax and have fun. I'm 20 bro have a whole life to go and I'm still wanting my ex so so badly. but I'm having fun, going clubbing always remember your not alone . I hope this helps mate in any way, but if your ever lonely just give us a holla.

  8. #8
    mitkoberba is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: My first girlfriend broke my heart, great help needed :(

    Oh my God... It seems so old, when I started to read the first post I didn't even recognize myself

    I haven't initiated contact with her for more than half a year now. Believe it or not, I managed to move on even if I loved her so much that I wanted her to be the mum of my children. She is not even on my mind.

    A few weeks ago we met at an event in our high school. She was with her boyfriend and I couldn't care less. We said hello and that's about it, I was too busy talking to my friends. Then a few days later, to my honest surprise, someone texted me from an unknown number that it was nice to see me. She probably saw that the super-active social life and success I demonstrate on my Facebook profile is not fake. I didn't reply, I honestly feel that this bridge had to be burnt down. One week later she texted me again for my birthday, I replied with a short 'thank you', the same reply I sent almost everyone else.

    While at the end of the day she will regret how she handled me, I don't need her anymore in my life. And her feeling of regret will only grow and grow as I fulfill my full potential, being twice the man that she will ever get in her life. I'm almost sure that she will try to crawl back to me, but this door is not open for her anymore.

    I'm really proud of myself because I think have achieved a great thing.

  9. #9
    sidewinder89 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: My first girlfriend broke my heart, great help needed :(

    I'm going to assume this is your first love?

    Ok I know how much it hurts, hell we all do, but I can promise you that it will never hurt as much again. Most of it comes from simply not knowing how to deal with.

    If seeing or hearing from her makes you sad then you need to tell her that you can't talk to her anymore and you are going to delete her number and facebook etc. It is best if you can engineer a clean break!

    It sounds like you haven't really mourned the relationship yet. I would advise talking things out with a close MALE friend. I felt like shit until I told a few close friends how I felt. They were incredibly helpful and all of them have been through the same thing.

    Oh and getting out on the pull is a nice distraction tactic chin-up buddy!


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