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  1. #1
    Bctemplar's Avatar
    Bctemplar is offline PUA in Training
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    Exclamation How do i Fend off orbiters during break up when trying to get ex back

    I have previously posted in this forum ref trying to win back my ex of a year after breaking up a month ago. We split after she wanted some space following a difficult period - she asked for a week apart to sort out some issues and claimed she was 99% sure we were meant to be together long term. I work away in the military and freaked out, not listening to her request culminating in me accusing her of seeing someone else! (very AFC!)

    She was heartbroken at my accusation and claims to now feel resentful of my behaviour and didn't want to talk. I immediately initiated NC following the M3 system and within 5 days she began texting and returning calls. We met for coffee which led to dinner but she dropped the can we be riends line in after a lengthy discussion later that evening. I have since resumed NC but have become aware of 'orbiters' those guys who have been waiting for their chance to strike! I have mutual friends who have said she isn't dating anyone but it's surely a matter of time. How can I counter their advances and win her back? I suspect this maybe a sh!t test to see how I will react ... I've simply not reacted so far but need a plan of action to a.) rebuild the attraction b.) get her to start contacting me and c.) value me over other potential suitors!

    Time is a factor as she knows I deploy later this month for two months ... This initially drove her to be responsive but she has begun pulling away when I said I wanted to try again!

    What can I do next? I want to rekindle our relationship

  2. #2
    pwonager is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: How do i Fend off orbiters during break up when trying to get ex back

    Tease her, do push and pull. Also disqualify yourself, and tell her how much fun your having.

    Do not seem needy or desperate for her attention. Also make sure your body language is good, do not slouch or lean in when talking to her.

    I'm sure if you apply all these things, and she really likes you things will go your way.

  3. #3
    liukang75 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: How do i Fend off orbiters during break up when trying to get ex back

    The best thing you can do about the orbiters is nothing. I feel for you and it sucks but the more jealousy that you show in this situation, the more you will end up pushing her away. I would go nc and tell her that maybe you can be friends later on but for now you need your space.

    It's a win win situation... Either she comes back to you and realizes how much you mean to her, or she is gone and you find someone much better in the future. Read my Bruce Lee quote over and over again until you get it. Ironically enough in life, the more you release yourself from the outcome of any given situation, the more likely you are to see it accomplished. That's why you hear so many stories of women coming back when they realize that thier ex's have moved on.
    “The great mistake is to anticipate the outcome of the engagement; you ought not to be thinking of whether it ends in victory or defeat. Let nature take its course, and your tools will strike at the right moment.” -Bruce Lee

  4. #4
    liukang75 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: How do i Fend off orbiters during break up when trying to get ex back

    When I decided that I wanted my ex back it was after I had already taken her off the pedestal that I had placed her on. I made a list of all of her faults and realized that she wasn't the goddess that I had made her out to be. I knew when I was trying to get her back that it could go either way. I wanted her but I didn't need her to fulfill who I was as a man. Maybe she sensed it, who knows? They get really turned on when they know that you won't chase after them like a puppy dog.
    “The great mistake is to anticipate the outcome of the engagement; you ought not to be thinking of whether it ends in victory or defeat. Let nature take its course, and your tools will strike at the right moment.” -Bruce Lee


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