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  • 2 Post By liukang75

Thread: need major help done some good things and bad things

  1. #1
    uksociology is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default need major help done some good things and bad things

    okay so ive posted about this beforebut i need some more help, i broke up with my ex of 5 years she ended it over a phone call didnt really say much about why we broke up didnt really discuss the issues bumped into her a few times one week before my birthday and i dint invite her out just said hi etc. any way on my birthday she text me paranoidly about a post i made on face book, then she gave me a birthday present as well (a film of a book i gave her but she never read)

    any way let me get on to this after my birthday i was really angry so i sent this message

    thank you for the birthday present and wishes, i didnt get back to you because you were being paranoid about what i ws doing after it was you that ended the relationship. i found that to be a very mixed signal from you, as in your still confused.my birthday wasnt a fare time to do that. like i said when you broke we are not going to be friends and my position on that hasnt changed. if your still confused i am willing to talk about things.

    this is where it gets a bit weird, she started texting that night, before replying, one of my best friends who set us up. she had a few texts that he showed me saying things like

    - i want to text him back but i dont know what to say

    -should i text him, i was going to ask you something else

    - oh yes, do you know if hes interested in anyone else? am i boring? i dont know what i want i am ick of talking about it, i dream about it and when i wake up im upset about it.

    -the thing is if i see him it will be easy for us to get back together i think the problem is more with me but i dont know

    -im just a confused bear i wasnt happy before and i am not happy now ill just get upset if i talk to him

    - if we meet face to face i know we will get sucked back in and i wont say what i want i dont want to upset him and ill just cry

    okay if you are still with me .....she sent this the next day to me

    im sorry i made you feel like that on your birthday, your right it wasnt fare, i didnt want to confuse things, i had just woken up and got upset and sent it without thinking. i did just want you to have a good day, i got you the present because i thought you would like it. i know you dont want us to be friends. i dont know what i would have to say if we talked i would just end up crying and saying i dont know alot.

    so after that i resumed no contact again then a few weeks later i changed my number i didnt want her to think it was because of her so i sent her this

    dont know if there is much point giving you this but it felt a bit rude changing my number and not letting you know.

    she replied back

    thank you what happened to your iphone? i hope your okay?

    i said

    still got it just changed contract

    she replied

    oh okay well thanks for letting me know anyway


    i resumed no contact

    it then got to a month since the break and i though its time to get closure and discuss what happened etc because we never talked about it so i tried phoning and got no answer then she text me

    sorry i was just in bed thats why i dindt answer, are you okay?

    i ignored her

    then she sent again

    i think that message reads like i am in a mood but i was ust saying i was in bed thats why i missed your call text me if you want.



    so i waited for a while then sent

    we need to go talk about things, we were together for 5 years and it wil be better for both of us, even if its just to make things final, it will be better for both of us because we havent talked about why this happened at all.

    she replied

    i know you are right i just know that when i see you i will get upset and start crying and not say much, but you are right we need to talk because it was 5 years and we didnt talk about things properly. its (female friends name) birthday this weekend, but i am free on monday if you want to meet up?

    i said i would text her on monday

    Can someone please give me an opinion its a bit nuts i dont know how to approach monday or if i should look at all this positive or not.

  2. #2
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    Default Re: need major help done some good things and bad things

    I think you should focus on your goal. Closure? Get back together? Get it in one last time? Have a strong intent first then we can help with the direction.

  3. #3
    uksociology is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: need major help done some good things and bad things

    M looking to get back with her but I also want closure if not

  4. #4
    liukang75 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: need major help done some good things and bad things

    When you meet with her remember to make her feel good about your visit together. She will probably throw a bunch of sh1t tests--just act like you're happy and unaffected by the whole situation. No matter what happens don't take the bait on her sh1t tests! Here is what not to do(because I did this):

    After a bad break-up several years ago my ex also agreed to meet with me for closure and I butchered the situation. We met down by the beach and sat and talked. Things started to go well. I tried my best not to talk about the relationship. We talked about work and common friends. I was picking grass from the ground and throwing it at her and she started to do the same to me. I really thought I had a good chance since she was being playful. Then she started throwing sh1t tests at me. I was completely unaware and I failed them miserably. I started to talk about how much I missed her and asked her if we could try again. She went completely cold which made the beta in me scream out "show more emotion", which of course I did. The meeting ended. She was teary eyed and walking away when my dumb beta-heartbroken ass decided to give her a 3 doors down cd that I had recently burned. I told her that I had made it for her and she actually rolled her eyes and put it into her purse as she continued to walk away. That was the last time I ever saw her for years. I'm lmfao right now! God, I was pathetic...

    No matter what happens don't fall into her traps. She will try to act like she is just peachy about the break-up. Just agree with her and act happy. Don't worry if you leave and nothing is resolved. As long as you pass her sh1t tests you have a legitimate shot later on. Good luck!
    “The great mistake is to anticipate the outcome of the engagement; you ought not to be thinking of whether it ends in victory or defeat. Let nature take its course, and your tools will strike at the right moment.” -Bruce Lee

  5. #5
    liukang75 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: need major help done some good things and bad things

    "The meeting ended. She was teary eyed and walking away when my dumb beta-heartbroken ass decided to give her a 3 doors down cd that I had recently burned. I told her that I had made it for her and she actually rolled her eyes and put it into her purse as she continued to walk away. That was the last time I ever saw her for years. I'm lmfao right now! God, I was pathetic..."

    I'm here without you baby. Lol!
    “The great mistake is to anticipate the outcome of the engagement; you ought not to be thinking of whether it ends in victory or defeat. Let nature take its course, and your tools will strike at the right moment.” -Bruce Lee

  6. #6
    uksociology is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: need major help done some good things and bad things

    hey guys, i took your advice we went for a walk, i avoided all shit traps and we just kept the conversation casual and light joked around and stuff i got a good negging going. she gave me a lift back home and then brought up the fact we hadnt talked about the relationship she got a bit upse and said do you want to say anything? i said "no whats the point we had a nice after noon" then we left it at that. any advice for next move?

  7. #7
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    Default Re: need major help done some good things and bad things

    Its ok to talk about it if she brings it up first. But you did the right thing saying that there was no need. When you do finally talk about it just let her lead the conversation. Alot of "Uh huhs" and "I understand" statements. Don't try to change her MIND about the past relationship, change her MOOD on the future relationship.

  8. #8
    uksociology is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: need major help done some good things and bad things

    well she text me a few hours later asking me how my dinner was and said do you still want to talk about things?

    also as she was dropping me off she asked if i wanted to go any where else.

    i text her back again saying there was no point talking today because we had had a nice time she text back agreed and wished me good luck with my fire training tomorrow.

    i'm thinking wait a day or so till wednesday and then text and suggest maybe go for some food on friday and talk about stuff, what do you think to that?

  9. #9
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    Default Re: need major help done some good things and bad things

    You should definitely setup another meet date. I'm not sure about mentioning the talking thing though. Women's emotions are flaky so it runs the risk of her feeling pressured and cancelling. Just maintain that you are just trying to have fun then when you meet up just start talking about things and go from there. Like it was a spontaneous decision.


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