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Thread: Help, dont know where to go from here on getting back X

  1. #21
    Saund128 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Help, dont know where to go from here on getting back X

    No text her and say now is not a good time.

  2. #22
    striker12 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Help, dont know where to go from here on getting back X

    I have been in a similar situation to you dude. STOP what you are doing now! I made every farking mistake on the book! You have to let them go in order to come back. I genuinally think If you have patience you can get an ex back if you want but the key ingredient here is time!

    She saying "jump" to you and your going "ooooooo how high would you like me to jump " honestly I made all these mistakes and it firkkkked it. The second you really let go is normally when they return! I advise you to not be her emotional tampon she could well be using you to get over the break up. She needs to workout if she wants you by herself not because your taking her out and running up her arse.

    Do not contact her , get yourself some new hobbies invests time and money in yourself for your hobbies not paying her rent and taking her out when you have no obligation to. Do not always be available I know your thinking of I don't meet her it's over for good. Incorrect if she wants you enough she will push for another day. Tell her your going to the movies with a freind or going to play some pool or going scuba diving, flying to the moon. Aslong as you show her you aren't waiting around its good!

    Even if you don't get her back you've got new hobbies and new freinds so either way you win!
    Good luck

  3. #23
    Victory37 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Help, dont know where to go from here on getting back X

    damn bro !! good advice, slap me in the face some more.. i wish I had some decent guy friends that new how to be my wing men, this makes this increasingly more difficult. here is an update, my single guy friends have NO PUA game whatsoever, they can't even dress properly. I was in a relationship for 14 months you know so I wasn't around for them to copy me, so it really got bad. I went out with them last night and I had to take them to the mall prior before we went anywhere, but still, no PUA game for them it's hard to close any girls.

    Long story short, all I could tihnk about was my X at the bar we were at, I even talked to a few girls.. Just made me think blah..I want my ex, lol.. anyways, she called me this morning I answered, and she made small talk and asked me if I could help her with that table tonight because her " friend " didn't text her back who agreed to help her go get it.

    I said yeah I guess I can make time, convo ended, and then she texted me around 11am and said, " my friend is going to help me after all, but I wanted to say thank you " I'm just like wow, I text her back " lmao " and that is it. I am going into NO contact period!! I am so sick of her sh1t!! I mean telling me that her " friend " is going to help her after all? Guaranteed this guy is trying to sleep with her, no guy is going out of hsi way to help a girl with no intentions. I was just with this girl living with her, etc...I never knew of any guy friends who would come help her move something? What a joke.

    Anyways, I have some things to look forward to bros, there was something that I always made me insecure, my teeth weren't exactly so straight. So during this break up ( its been like 60 days now ) I decided to go spend the 11 grand and get porcelain veneers. All of the visits are done and on september 11 I will have my new grill. I cannot wait because it literally is going to change my life and give me the full confidence of just being a boss.

    My point is, I have been bettering my self, and that is the final step for me, once I have these new teeth I will have no insecurities ( I will post a pic so you guys can see just how good it is, before and afters ). Anyways, Thanks for listening to me through the course of this hell I have been going through.

    The worst is yet to come, her birthday is sept 27, so I have no idea what I will do then. Hopefully I can stay no contact till then. I will have my new smile sept 11, and I want her to see me after at some point obviously...But what should I do when she calls/texts me during nc?? Just tell her I need space? But if I do that what if it pushes her away to move on? thanks brosephs

  4. #24
    striker12 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Help, dont know where to go from here on getting back X

    I think you need to re read my final few statements. Honestly if she wants to contact you she will , If she wants you back she will let you know. That's just how they are. I think her telling you her freind was helping her was a sh1ttest which being brutally honest you failed. Step your game up get on the ball. Sharpen your pencils. Do anything to not fall for such sh1t!

    I feel for you sometimes when on out I think of my ex but I go and walk up to the first girl I see and game. What's even worse is I see my ex when I'm Out it's a fine line to not make it look like your trying to make her jealous and fake fun. Don't do anything for her benefit if you are I advise you stop. Take yourself outside somewhere quite and chill. Think about what YOU want not what you think she wants you to be. I know it's all well and good me giving this advice as hey I don't follow it all the time. But do t make the same mistakes I did. Know when I see my ex I am polite just say hi. If she's by herself she tries to talk more if she's with her freinds b1tch shield goes up and just a polite hello is all that is needed. Don't show yourself in a badlight.

    If she texts you don't reply for sometime and dont text without thinking. I personally wouldn't answer her first call as you will be caught off guard and may furk up. Atleast with texting you have a chance to think. I'm sure if you follow batmans advice you will get your desired result of you being an overall winner of the situation.

    Strike

  5. #25
    Victory37 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Help, dont know where to go from here on getting back X

    hey strike, i texted her back and said ' you are welcome, hope you guys get a good deal ', and i'll leave it at that now, fuarrk, a Sh1t Test? i should have seen that, oh well i think my text made up for it

  6. #26
    striker12 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Help, dont know where to go from here on getting back X

    Dude! You need to chill. How is she gona have a fear of loss when you aren't disappearing. Remember people only want what they cannot have. Right now she could get you back in an instant so why does she need to?

    Only when you have moved on and are ok will she return. Your gona furk it beyond repair and never hear from her at this rate. Man up grab this nc situation by the balls and do it. I know it's hard I am struggling with it also. You'll get there.

    Striker

  7. #27
    Victory37 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Help, dont know where to go from here on getting back X

    lol im trying man i really am..you're right about the fear of loss. she pretty much has me without the title, omg fml lol

  8. #28
    striker12 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Help, dont know where to go from here on getting back X

    Exactly! You just her emotional tampon, best guy "freind" w.e you call it your still in a sh1t situation. Only you can get yourself out of it. I think I remember you saying your 21 I am also 21 and made all these stupid mistakes. Listen before it is to late my freind.

    Take time off from her. Get a new hobby. Buy some new clothes. Do something you have always wanted to do. Get in the gym and train. Do all of this for some considerable time so if she does come around your actually different. She broke up with you because she didn't want to be with you. So reinvent yourself. Don't do it for her do it Becuse you can and have the will power to follow it thorough. It's alll about personal development!

    Striker

  9. #29
    Victory37 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Help, dont know where to go from here on getting back X

    so keeping NC like I should, i've noticed a pattern.. As soon as I go into NC, usually about 36 hours will go by, ( a day and a half ) and then she will call me in the morning. It is like clock work. I haven't heard from her since monday at 11am, since she told me she has afriend helping her, and then that was it for me, I was like forget this and going into NC, then what does she do? Tuesday nothing, but today at 7:30am I get a phone call, I see her calling, I don't answer, she leaves a voicemail that is just a playful one but short. Why is she doing this?

    Is she just making sure that she still has me if she wanted ? I mean why would she wait the exact same time every time I go into NC to contact me? And it's always a phone call, I think one time it was a text but that was a while ago. I hate that she calls because it takes control away from me, where as if she texts me I can respond in a few hours and make her thinking. I know im having to be spoon fed, but you guys have to understand, I had no idea how beta I had become in the relationship until reading this stuff.

  10. #30
    striker12 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Help, dont know where to go from here on getting back X

    That is exactly what she is doing making sure your still around. Even though she already knows she could click her fingers and you'll come running. Tbh with you i wouldnt return her call id make her sweat for afew days and do not contact her untill she contacts you again. Then when she asks where you have been jsut say youve been helping a freind on a project.


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