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Thread: Help, dont know where to go from here on getting back X

  1. #61
    liukang75 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Help, dont know where to go from here on getting back X

    Wake up and smell the roses my friend--or shit in this case. She's testing your alphaness by bringing up a sensitive subject(the ring). She's intrigued now that you are not chasing her anymore and wants to know how over her you are. Your response should indicate that you are just peachy about everything. Send her the pic of the ring with a text "Whoops, I've been busy lately. Here ya go", or something along those lines. You should project that you are on top of the world and not bothered by her antics.
    “The great mistake is to anticipate the outcome of the engagement; you ought not to be thinking of whether it ends in victory or defeat. Let nature take its course, and your tools will strike at the right moment.” -Bruce Lee

  2. #62
    Victory37 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Help, dont know where to go from here on getting back X

    haha, do you think i am failing if i dont respond?/ i really would rather not respond, i know she is going to be contacting me soon because she moved and needs the internet transfered becaues its s till in my name..

  3. #63
    liukang75 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Help, dont know where to go from here on getting back X

    No, you're not failing if you don't respond but you are passing up an opportunity to pass a shit test which would tilt the attraction scale back in your direction(which is what you need!!!). It's like she just gave you a free one and you're not taking it.
    “The great mistake is to anticipate the outcome of the engagement; you ought not to be thinking of whether it ends in victory or defeat. Let nature take its course, and your tools will strike at the right moment.” -Bruce Lee

  4. #64
    Victory37 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Help, dont know where to go from here on getting back X

    i just dont know how to respond, i mean why the heck did she say ' the future engagement ring ' like was she just saying that so i wouldn't be mad??

  5. #65
    Victory37 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Help, dont know where to go from here on getting back X

    still haven't heard from her either since that text, i need to resolve this quickly.. im thinking ot texting her and being like ' sorry my phone was messed up just saw your text ' and maybe send the pic? i just dont get her saying ' the future engagement ring ' is she talking about her and me having a future?? or just saying the future ring she would want from any guy??

  6. #66
    Victory37 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Help, dont know where to go from here on getting back X

    the exact text " I know this may sound odd, but my girlfriend Jenna and I were speaking about it. Can you send me the picture of the future engagement ring? " little background; her friend jenna is already engaged, and she is refering to the ring i had picked out for her and took a pic of AFTER we had been broken up already, in the first week.. this literally has me baffled, i dont want to do the wrong thing.. because if she is refering to us having a future and me giving her that ring, hey, awesome, i'll juts wait for her to come around, but if she is saying it in general thats the ring she wants a guy to give her when she is engaged in the future, then i want to tell her to get a clue.. sorry for multiple posts... but thre it is

  7. #67
    liukang75 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Help, dont know where to go from here on getting back X

    Quote Originally Posted by Victory37 View Post
    i just dont know how to respond, i mean why the heck did she say ' the future engagement ring ' like was she just saying that so i wouldn't be mad??
    I already told you how I think you should respond word for word. Your not listening and you seem to be more pre-occupied with the reasons behind why she would do such a thing. How could she be so cold? Well, I'll try to break it down for you because that seems more important to you. Women are much better at this break-up stuff than we are. They know the rules subconsiously and they don't have to figure this stuff out by searching the internet sifting through information.

    It's part of thier programming. A woman knows exactly what to do post break-up to ensure that you are a twisted wreck without her and therefore unsuitable for procreation with another attractive female--at least until she is over it and has moved on. It benefits her to keep your genes on the back burner by friendzoning you and giving you hints of a possible reconcilliation just in case she doesn't find someone better.

    Blame evolution, not her. She probably isn't even aware that she is testing you and keeping you in orbit for such shallow reasons. As good as they are at break-up ettiquete, they have a weakness--and that is when men do the same things to them. Send her the text I mentioned. You don't have anything else to lose at this point
    “The great mistake is to anticipate the outcome of the engagement; you ought not to be thinking of whether it ends in victory or defeat. Let nature take its course, and your tools will strike at the right moment.” -Bruce Lee

  8. #68
    Victory37 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Help, dont know where to go from here on getting back X

    Okay guys, today has been interesting for me. I am going to share with you my opinion and facts of today for my situation. Lui, I did disagree with you on this being a Sh1t Test, I thought of it more of her easing back into the thought of US more so because I haven't mentioned it in our conversations or outings in over a month..

    Once we were on good terms again ( the beginning of august ) I figured she wouldnt ever be able to even start getting me to hang around her again until she moved out of our old apartment, because A. the past relationship took place there, B. the old memories. C. the break up. Plus it could very well have been super awkward for me to be around in that house..I had a Gut feeling that if anything was ever going to progress it was going to be after she moved. She is now in law school, and moved into an apartment in that city where its located. It is only 20 minutes south of my current one.

    This all being said, today I texted her back and went with my GUT feeling that it was not her sh1t testing me, but just her attempt at mentioning anything of the past that had to do with us, so I texted her back the following: " Sorry, but I think its pretty cold of you to use a ring to describe to your friend what you want in a future engagement " She then texted me back in about 5 minutes and said " I think you may have taken what i said wrong I'll call you in 15 minutes " I didn't respond, and just waited for her to call. When she did call the first thing she did was say, " What I meant was that it was my ring, future as in if we fixed things, that would be my ring , I'm so sorry if you thought anything else, wow I can't imagine what you must have thought " And then I said its ok, and moved into our next normal convo.. She ended it with ' call me later '.

    I went about my day at work feeling very good thinking, wow there is hope for us to actually be together again, especially if she said that. If there was no thought on us, she would never say that. Then 3:30 comes along and I get a call from her I couldn't answer and she leaves a voicemail.. I listen to it, and she was calling for no reason at all just to tell me something funny that was happening to her right then, so I call back. We ended up talking for around 40 minutes, which we have not done since the break up. This conversation was not awkward and flowed the entire time. I also had her laughing A LOT!! We talked about funny stuff happening, and a show we are both watching, and some other random nonsense that pertained to only us. During this conversation she said on 3 seperate occasions " you have to come see my new place! " , " I can't wait for you to come over and see my new place ". and then just repeated the first. She did just move this past weekend, but I mean still, this shows me she is definitely comfortable with me coming to her house, especially since it is in another city that would be decent drive, it's not an invite that I could just go for a half hour turn around and leave. I am trying not to read into anything too much, but this does give me a lot of hope. Now you are probably wondering how I reacted when she said that, well I have read enough of this PUA game stuff to know how to handle it, haha. I just said, ' yeahh, ' quick, and then moved right onto next subject. I didn't act like I was thrilled, or say ok WHEN!??! even though I was dying to lol.

    Overall, I have a lot of hope now, and plan to keep sticking it out. i wanted to share this with you guys so even though there is set rules and things as alpha, sometimes different situations require different things. If you know the girl, go with your GUT. I am very excited about the future, I don't want to get too over confident, but I am hoping soon I will get her to invite me down there and be setting up a time without me having to ask about it at all.. Any comments or suggestions are welcome, thanks guys

  9. #69
    Saund128 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Help, dont know where to go from here on getting back X

    That sounds great man. Proceed with caution though. You seem to have control right now and I would maintain it. If you are going to hang out, I would have it be on your terms (time and place). I would also initiate the hang out too. Like wait a few days and ask her if she wants to do something specific. If she really wants you back she will probably bend over backwards to make the time and place you ask for.

    Good luck.

  10. #70
    Saund128 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Help, dont know where to go from here on getting back X

    Uh I think I screwed up a bit. I text my ex to see how her first day of school was. We chatted a bit and then she asked who I had in this group project. I made a joke because I had a terrible group and she replied with "haha have fun pal"

    uhhhhh that pal at the end there just jerked me a little.

    Well I replied back with "Doubtful" and the conversation has seemed to end. I shouldn't have text her.

    Maybe I should've asked another question, cuz I might have been pretty cold with doubtful.

    Whatever that shit just pissed me off if anything.

    Live and learn.


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