Hello guys, first of all allow me to introduce myself, I'm a 20 year old guy from Spain, I was looking for some forum where I could write about what happening to me and I just come upon this one, which I must say it looks pretty round.
I'm asking for advice because last Sunday 5th my 18 year old girlfriend came back from a two week holiday in Madrid, a much bigger city than where we live, she spent a lot of time with friends, hanging around and having fun. Well, this same day she came back, she told me she wanted to spend some time by herself, she has to study a lot this year, etc. I know and I completely believe her when she tells that she hasn't got any sexual contact or anything with anyone else, we've been together for one year and a half and she's the kind of girl who really doesn't need guys to stick around her, so yeah, I've been pretty luck with that.
When she told me, sure I broke down a little bit, but I faced it in front of her and told her that if that's what she wanted, it was ok. She also told me that she still loved me. We said ''goodbye'' kissing on the mouth.
I spent last week pretty good, confident about my chances and thinking this couldn't last much. I saw her on thursday (we share some really good friends and I have a pretty solid friendship with his father) at hers, we were not umconfortable at all though she would resist kissing me if I approached her, telling me not to ''incite'' her. Then we had a long talk about our feelings, she told me to see other girls and I asked that that didn't interested me right now, she told me the same, that she just wanted to be alone. Our speeches didn't change, and we hugged for like a minute.
The next day, last friday, I was going to invite some friends of us to my house, since I was home alone. She came, I stole her a kiss but nothing uncomfortable happened. Now, bedtime came and we decided to sleep in the same bed, I started kissing her and although she told me not to she wouldn't stop either so we ended up making love. It was amazing and very powerful emotionally.
Next morning we woke up and she cuddled with me in bed, I thought if this wasn't already solved, we would be together again pretty soon.
But nothing further from reality, she didn't answer my gestures or kisses that day, what made me really angry, I couldn't believe it. That night, I have to admit, I stood by her window begging her to come home with me to spend the night together, I couldn't face the idea that I had to spend the night alone at home when we had sex the other night, I know it sounds really childish but you know better than anyone how these things are...
She told me she didn't want to lose me but that I wasn't helping with that behaviour. She didn't want to tell me what meant to her that we slept together, she avoided the subject, althought I know it wasn't shallow at all for her, because we really connected. Finally, after a long talk, I came home, not before we kissed once again. She told me not to contact for some time.
And here I am, four days later we've talked a bit on facebook, I see her friends almost everyday, because as I told you they're also mine... And I don't really know how to face this, I'm trying to do NC but it's hard, also since we share friends and I have some stuff at her house (books, dvds) that I have to get back (I'm not talking about presents of her, but things I lend her), she also has some things that belong to her in my house.
I know I have to make up my mind about the idea that I might lose her forever, but it's quite difficult right now, I'm pretty hopeful I will take her back and I can't stop thinking about that. She knows that we couldn't be better with anyone else also.
So that's my story, what should I do? Thank you very much to all for reading.