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Thread: break up after 2.5years; want suggestions

  1. #101
    1000steps is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: break up after 2.5years; want suggestions

    That was on my mind too! I have been VERY aloof which is working to my advantage. I am also able to entertain the possibility that it is over for good without facing any unbearable heartache - so I'm in a good frame.

    I really don't want to help her get over it though. Not sure if it makes sense at this point to tell her to back off. Maybe I'll just freeze her out for a couple of days by not logging in to fb and not responding to her texts...

  2. #102
    Saund128 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: break up after 2.5years; want suggestions

    Quote Originally Posted by striker12 View Post
    Steps my only concern is that your waiting around for her to come back. Thats not a good place to be. I really think you should ask for some space and mean it you need time to collect your thoughts and not have her texting you. She could jsut be using you to get over the breakup.

    Good luck

    Striker x
    That is what you need to do.

    Ignoring her for a few days is just postponing getting over her. She might be worried but then when you reply in a few days, it will go right back to what it has been.

  3. #103
    Victory37 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: break up after 2.5years; want suggestions

    im in a situation just like this as most of you already know lol.. i never initiate contact, and then after a day or two she texts or calls... i don't understand this..i am wondering if i should start asking her to do things and try to win her back? or just keep up with this, i mean when does it end?? the NC?? if she's contacting you?? i dont get it

  4. #104
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    Default Re: break up after 2.5years; want suggestions

    Victory makes a good point. I'm unsure about it also.

    I thought about it a lot and have come up with one good option. At some point I am going to send her a text stating:

    Hey *something cutsy I used to call her*! You were right! The break up was for the best but I think it's better if you don't contact me for a while.

    That should flip the script because 1. I agree with break up and 2. I order her to not contact me for a while (as if saying: stop chasing me). That means that I'm no longer an option in her mind. I think this will either instill a fear of loss in her or backfire and she'll try to move on quicker (less likely?).

    Anything else I should add in that text of doom? lol

  5. #105
    Saund128 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: break up after 2.5years; want suggestions

    Say it the next time she contacts you. I would say as little as possible without much explanation too.

  6. #106
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    Default Re: break up after 2.5years; want suggestions

    Hey Saund, these two disagree with your suggestion.

    http://www.puaforums.com/pick-up-fie...date-ex-2.html

    hmmmm

  7. #107
    1000steps is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: break up after 2.5years; want suggestions

    I am genuinely unsure about what to do next. There are 3 options, all backed up with what sound like valid arguments.

    1. Keep talking to her on occasion and always when she initiates.
    2. Freeze her out without telling her.
    3. Telling her to cut communication out.

    All 3 might lead to us meeting up in a few weeks (say 6 or 7) and re-kindle something.

    I am strongly inclined to do number 1. Allow her to initiate and occasionally respond to her, in a fun and teasing manner. This should keep the doors open for a friendly date in the future.

  8. #108
    Victory37 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: break up after 2.5years; want suggestions

    im in the same boat 1000, she's doing the same stuff... I am at the point too should I just keep playing with her when she contacts me? making her laugh etc.. or should I just close the door on her and hope she comes back in? I don't want to push her far away either because even though it might take a while, as long as she is contacting me, im pretty sure there isn't another guy in the picture. why contact me if there was? makes no sense, and what guy would want her talkign to her x?? so something is going to have to come to a head here..

  9. #109
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    Default Re: break up after 2.5years; want suggestions

    Close the door. If she doesn't come back than it wasn't meant to be.

  10. #110
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    Default Re: break up after 2.5years; want suggestions

    In a PUA world where the focus is on the decisive man's decision to lead, that philosophy seems to leave a lot up to the woman. Would you agree?

    I know that my ex and most of my female friends will try to move on even if they don't want to, once they feel that the male has closed the door for good. It's only men that are very prone to oneitis.


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