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Thread: break up after 2.5years; want suggestions

  1. #81
    liukang75 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: break up after 2.5years; want suggestions

    I think that you still have a chance because you haven't destroyed it yet by begging, pleading, or acting angry. You're on good terms with her and she made out with you last night for crying out loud!

    It would have been better had you not sent the email but you didn't do anything that would make me think that you've completely blown it with her for good. All she did was call your bluff with her response which was most likely just a shit test. From what I've learned, most of the time they don't know that they're doing it--it's all subconscious.

    She's testing your alphaness. You had a good time with her last night. She is probably also thinking of you right now and wondering if she is doing the right thing by saying goodbye. The best thing that you can do from here on out is go nc and call her bluff.

    There is nothing more that you can do. You're in a win-win situation although I know it probably doesn't seem that way right now. Either she comes back and it was meant to be, or you get over her and meet someone else better. Also, you've learned alot of valuable things about women that will help you in your next relationship--whether it's with her or another one.
    “The great mistake is to anticipate the outcome of the engagement; you ought not to be thinking of whether it ends in victory or defeat. Let nature take its course, and your tools will strike at the right moment.” -Bruce Lee

  2. #82
    1000steps is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: break up after 2.5years; want suggestions

    Cool thanks. Please take a look at the previous post because I edited it.

    I will not beg or get angry. I will only attempt to become alpha and then show her that when I want to. I'm planning on getting a date with a new girl this week and maybe post some photos on fb. That should get her juices flowing. And mine too

    So back to no contact and we'll see if she initiates herself.

  3. #83
    1000steps is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: break up after 2.5years; want suggestions

    A friend of mine invited both me and the ex to her place later on this week. What's the protocol here?

    I am going because it will be fun. I plan on not mentioning anything to her (nc again) whether she plans to go or not. (I have a feeling that after Saturday's intense emotions, she'd be hesitant to come. And that she won't contact me for a long while).

    Am I thinking straight?

  4. #84
    Saund128 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: break up after 2.5years; want suggestions

    I would only go if you are over her. Seeing her is just going to set you back with your emotions. It seems like every bit of contact I have with my ex just sets me back.

  5. #85
    1000steps is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: break up after 2.5years; want suggestions

    You know what? This is getting ridiculous. Why do we allow one person, or any number of persons for that matter, to have so much control over our emotions and moods. This lack of control seeps into every little thing we do and it's unhealthy. It's nice to love and to be loved, sure, but so what if it changes? Change is the only constant in the universe. We just owe it to ourselves to make sure that the change we can control, we do, and it's for the better.

    The fundamental issue here is not that all of us got dumped. It is the fact that we derived our value from this person loving us. How did we get to that? It wasn't always like that or else we wouldn't be worthy of love in the first place. Now that value has been taken away from us. And it's become a type of an identity crises. We, men, have this unhealthy habit of growing complacent. It's a fatal misconception that when things are good or maybe even perfect at times, we assume that they can stay like that. Set for infinity. So we stop changing, subconsciously hoping that everything else will stop with us. Well, no. Time keeps going and Change is constant. And it's up to us to keep changing (growing) for the better, be it by ourselves, with our friends, with our gfs, with our families, with whoever can help us on our chosen path or with each and everyone at the same time all the time.

    It's a warped sense of identity that we get into. Boyfriend, friend, musician, student, athlete, teacher, artist, rich, poor etc. etc. do not define who we are. They are ornaments (or lack thereof) of something profound within us. We just are. So why don't we let go of everything that is not us? My gf said she wants to find herself. Well she's wrong. 'Herself' doesn't exist to be found. No one does. We create ourselves everyday from every little decision we make, moment by moment. Let's just decide who we want to be, maybe write it down and read it every day, and every little decision we make, every change that we have to face, should tend to fall into place with whoever we want to be.

    I'm sick of this roller coaster. It's bullsh1t. No one but me will have this much power over me. While growing deaf Beethoven is quoted to have said 'I shall grab fate by the throat. It shall never bend me completely.' It's time to grab the f*** out of ours and bend and mold it into whatever shape we fu**ing desire. Sure it might take time, but what other choice do you have?

    I know that when a man's power over himself is restored, he is powerful beyond description. It's everyone else's loss not to be in his life.

    It's time to commit to the present - it deserves that kind of respect. Tomorrow will owe the quality of its existence to the decisions made today.

  6. #86
    Victory37 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: break up after 2.5years; want suggestions

    good post!! but for some reason im still a FREAKING thinking about her

  7. #87
    liukang75 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: break up after 2.5years; want suggestions

    Quote Originally Posted by 1000steps View Post
    You know what? This is getting ridiculous. Why do we allow one person, or any number of persons for that matter, to have so much control over our emotions and moods. This lack of control seeps into every little thing we do and it's unhealthy. It's nice to love and to be loved, sure, but so what if it changes? Change is the only constant in the universe. We just owe it to ourselves to make sure that the change we can control, we do, and it's for the better.

    The fundamental issue here is not that all of us got dumped. It is the fact that we derived our value from this person loving us. How did we get to that? It wasn't always like that or else we wouldn't be worthy of love in the first place. Now that value has been taken away from us. And it's become a type of an identity crises. We, men, have this unhealthy habit of growing complacent. It's a fatal misconception that when things are good or maybe even perfect at times, we assume that they can stay like that. Set for infinity. So we stop changing, subconsciously hoping that everything else will stop with us. Well, no. Time keeps going and Change is constant. And it's up to us to keep changing (growing) for the better, be it by ourselves, with our friends, with our gfs, with our families, with whoever can help us on our chosen path or with each and everyone at the same time all the time.

    It's a warped sense of identity that we get into. Boyfriend, friend, musician, student, athlete, teacher, artist, rich, poor etc. etc. do not define who we are. They are ornaments (or lack thereof) of something profound within us. We just are. So why don't we let go of everything that is not us? My gf said she wants to find herself. Well she's wrong. 'Herself' doesn't exist to be found. No one does. We create ourselves everyday from every little decision we make, moment by moment. Let's just decide who we want to be, maybe write it down and read it every day, and every little decision we make, every change that we have to face, should tend to fall into place with whoever we want to be.

    I'm sick of this roller coaster. It's bullsh1t. No one but me will have this much power over me. While growing deaf Beethoven is quoted to have said 'I shall grab fate by the throat. It shall never bend me completely.' It's time to grab the f*** out of ours and bend and mold it into whatever shape we fu**ing desire. Sure it might take time, but what other choice do you have?

    I know that when a man's power over himself is restored, he is powerful beyond description. It's everyone else's loss not to be in his life.

    It's time to commit to the present - it deserves that kind of respect. Tomorrow will owe the quality of its existence to the decisions made today.
    You're right man. I've wasted alot of time and energy in my own life being heartbroken over women. There were months where I would do nothing but sit in the house feeling sorry for myself, crying over an ex. It's pretty farkin pathetic in my opinion.

    One time, this hot girl called me while I was going through the pain of a break-up and she wanted to hang out. I told her no and made up some excuse for her not to come over. She had the most perfect tits that I have ever seen and I told her no! If that's not lame, I don't know what is!

    I'm 35, so I've been through this a few times now. One thing that I can tell you is that it doesn't get any easier. This won't be the first time that you go through the excruciating pain of heartbreak and it probably won't be the last. All you can do is learn how to deal with it better.

    You can get over a woman quicker by going complete nc. Then you set course for the eye of the storm and take it head on. You have to go through the pain, not around it. It sounds like you're sick and tired of being sick and tired.

    I would suggest you treat this woman like you would a drug addiction. If you were addicted to heroin and you wanted to stop, would you keep it as your Facebook friend? Would you go to a party when you know heroin is going to be there? I know you want her back but what is that costing you in the long run? The best thing you can do to get her back is to get over her.
    “The great mistake is to anticipate the outcome of the engagement; you ought not to be thinking of whether it ends in victory or defeat. Let nature take its course, and your tools will strike at the right moment.” -Bruce Lee

  8. #88
    Victory37 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: break up after 2.5years; want suggestions

    lui, good post, im 25 so im a little younger, but im hoping i can be married soon, the last one i thought was it.. im sick of heart break too

  9. #89
    liukang75 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: break up after 2.5years; want suggestions

    Quote Originally Posted by Victory37 View Post
    lui, good post, im 25 so im a little younger, but im hoping i can be married soon, the last one i thought was it.. im sick of heart break too
    Been there man. Here's a guy who's gone through it as well.
    The Book Of Eli - Soundtrack Al Green How can you mend a broken heart - YouTube
    “The great mistake is to anticipate the outcome of the engagement; you ought not to be thinking of whether it ends in victory or defeat. Let nature take its course, and your tools will strike at the right moment.” -Bruce Lee

  10. #90
    striker12 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: break up after 2.5years; want suggestions

    Great post!!! really makes sense im only 21 plenty more people out there. I nthink one day this will be a blessing in disguise becuause i am now a young, single, 21 year old man. Pleased i found out about PUA now! Victory i was you afew months ago every thought about her, what she was doing etc. It does get easier thats one thing for certain


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