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Thread: Want my ex back, been with her 4 months

  1. #1
    Dan_lock is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Want my ex back, been with her 4 months

    Hi, me and my ex were really good together we met at uni, we were together for 4 months, as summer came she said she needed a break so i was happy to give her that, recently shes said she just wants to be friends and she dont love me anymore. This really hurt me because i still care about her so much. We still message everyday, we are really close and everything but I want her back. She knows shes hurt me and said she wants to cry and dont want to hurt me anymore, we both agreed to stay single. We going to be living together in the same house in 3 week as we both live out at uni. Im not really sure what to do. Any advice guys?

  2. #2
    1000steps is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Want my ex back, been with her 4 months

    Hi! From what I've learned so far I can tell you this.

    There's some good and bad news. The good is that she cares about you, the bad is that she cares about you as a friend. Your are comforting her through the break up which makes it easier for her and much, much tougher for you. You are thinking that if you're there for her during tough times, she might fall for you. But it doesn't work like that. You cannot attract with that logic (you cannot attract with any kind of logic!) because attraction happens at a more primitive, emotional level. Do not keep up that behaviour. Believe it or not, giving her your time when she's hurt you and promising to stay single (presumably to wait for her) won't work. Why? Because this lowers your value. It shows that her emotions are more important to you than your own life and you have no other options when it comes to girls. In actual fact a desirable man always has options (no matter how wonderful this girl might be, this is the attitude she needs to see in you).

    It's not you, it's genetics. Women of quality are programmed by evolution to look for quality-men and atm you're not exuding the right qualities. I can hear you thinking 'But she liked me!' Yes. She did. But that's before - that's when you showed her your best self. Now you've shown her your BETA qualities and the romantic/sexual spark is gone. Go alpha. Research around the internet about the Alpha Male and I'm sure you will begin to see what you did to attract her in the first place.

    I'm guilty myself of slacking off and in the process of trying to re-ignite the romance and give it another go. It might be working (it might not) but you need to cut off contact from her and move on. I know that's not what you want to hear but there are two roads in this situation: one is having a future without her - in which case you must move on wit your life. The second is having her in your future - in which case you must move on to exude the right qualities. Moving on doesn't mean becoming a jerk to her - it just means that you give yourself time to heal your heartbreak, do things that you enjoy (music/sports etc.) and meet new people. That is how you start to become a better man. In the meantime this will give her a fear of losing you, which also starts to make you valuable again in her eyes.

    Good luck

  3. #3
    Dan_lock is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Want my ex back, been with her 4 months

    Hi, thanks for your reply I understand what your saying, so should I just ignore her if she texts me and tell her i need space or reply in a few hours. Thanks

  4. #4
    linking is offline Banned
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    Default Re: Want my ex back, been with her 4 months

    I'm going through kind of the same thing ATM, my ex broke up with me saying she doesn't feel the same anymore and it broke my heart. This is when I started to get involved in the community I read styles book 'the game' and it helps me get over her and I feel better when I'm sarging. There is a passage in the book that helped me get through a lot it is:

    'We have this idea that love is supposed to last forever. But love isn’t like that. It’s a free-flowing energy that comes and goes as it pleases. Sometimes it stays for life, other times it stays for a year, a month, a minute or a second. So don't fear love when it comes because it makes you vulnerable, but don't be surprised when it leaves either. Just be glad you had the chance to experience it whilst it lasted.'

    I think about this whenever I'm feeling down about losing her and it seems to help. Hope it's as helpful to you mate I'm not saying that you should lose all hope of getting back but if you try to move on it will be easier to be alpha around her and you won't worry or over think it too much chin up bro

    Linking x

    Ps sorry it's such a long post lol

  5. #5
    Dan_lock is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Want my ex back, been with her 4 months

    Hey man, that is actually a really good quote, did kind of cheer me up a bit. So what is the situation with you, have you given up all hope or do you still think there is a chance for you and your ex?

  6. #6
    linking is offline Banned
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    Default Re: Want my ex back, been with her 4 months

    You can turn it into a pretty decent closing line as well, bout seizing the moment etc well we have been away from eachother all summer cus of working in diff countries and she's still in Australia, so I'll see what happens when she gets back.

    I'm looking at it as, if I get her back it's probs cus of the community and learning about no contact etc, and if I don't then her breaking up with me led to me discovering the community which is sooo awesome

    Anyways I can't do nothing for another month when she gets back so I'm sarging as much as possible and it makes me think about her less and I'm having more success with women than I ever have before

    Linking x

  7. #7
    Dan_lock is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Want my ex back, been with her 4 months

    Oh pretty tough situation for you, well i hope things work out for the best ... i guess some will come and some will go, only time will tell.

    Im moving in with my ex in 3 weeks time, i just hope its not awkward between us ... I think im going to stay away from women at the minute if things dont work, need to focus on my degree.

  8. #8
    linking is offline Banned
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    Default Re: Want my ex back, been with her 4 months

    Thanks same to you buddy hey don't need to stay away completely, just moderate a little bit not in Lincoln uk uni are ya by any chance? Lmao, I need someone to sarge with

    Linking x

  9. #9
    Dan_lock is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Want my ex back, been with her 4 months

    haha nah mate im in Hertfordshire, im going to be out with my ex 7 days on freshers week so hopefully i can make a move, it would feel weird sarging while she was in the same place as me. Not many clubs around herts lol.

  10. #10
    linking is offline Banned
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    Default Re: Want my ex back, been with her 4 months

    Ooooh, that's either going to go really well or really badly :/ are you still close enough where she wouldn't y'no 'misbehave' whilst in a club with you around? Not trying to be offensive, it just happened to me before and wasn't nice, summit to watch out for like :/

    Linking x


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