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  • 1 Post By Rando9009

Thread: 6 months later and I still miss her

  1. #1
    The Lion is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default 6 months later and I still miss her

    Me and my ex girlfriend split up about 6 months ago. We broke up after dating 1 year. When we were togethor she was crazy about me to say the least and literally would do anything for me.(not getting into too many long boring stories). She would come down from her university which was about an hour away, just to hang with me. She did this 3 times a week.

    After we broke up she started seeing somebody else almost a month after we broke up.. I turned into a wuss and started to dlv myself. Calling her all the time, crying, all the bad stuff lol. Anyways she just got home from spending the summer in another state. She called me the day she got back, and we hung out a couple times last week.

    She seemed nervous, the last time we hung out. She said that she didnt know if her boyfriend would feel comfortable and left my house with no real answer? It left me confused at the time, and it ended up escalating into a fight over the phone A bad one..

    That was about a week ago. I know exes are sometimes not good to get into but there is still so much that I want to talk to her about. I do not want to take her back but a large part of me still wants her around. I want to end the bad feelings of our breakup and be friends.

    Anyways I need some advice and quick. She leaves in two days to go back up to her school and I feel like I need to patch this up for myself. Should I call or text? Any advice would be great

    Im 21 she is 20 btw..

  2. #2
    Rando9009 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: 6 months later and I still miss her

    Hey man,

    Sorry about your situation, those are hard....been there done that. It's pretty normal for a person you've been dating for a year or more to at least come back around for a few visits (or more) because chances are, if you played your cards right, there's still a part of them that misses you too.

    It seems like you have mixed messages in your post. You want her around, you don't want her back, you miss her, but want to be friends etc. This is normal, but I think you need to get your mind straight before any of this can get better. Plus dude she has a boyfriend... not to say that can't change around but do you really want to get involved with that?

    Without more details on "the fight" on the phone, I think it may be hard to give straight advice on whether to call, text, or neither to patch this up and give you some peace of mind. How did that fight conversation end?

    I would say most people will give the advice of just leave it, but if it gives you peace of mind and you would rather contact her.... I'd say call, if she dosn't answer, text or leave a voicemail and just act cool and unnafected about the previous fight. Say that it was good seeing you, hope you have a good trip back to college. Something light like that. Might give her at least a warm impression. Where as if you start bringing up about the fight or what not again it will just do more damage. Also... only one call/text, no multiple texts and calls in a row without response.

    And you may want to strongly consider (as hard as it is) to ditch the situation outright and begin your quest for new interests in women. Not to say that its always the best option, but alot of time it is, because otherwise you become caught in an endless web of drama and emotions that go really nowhere.

    Rando

  3. #3
    1000steps is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: 6 months later and I still miss her

    IMO you really must decide want you want out of this. And to do that you need to get a clear head.

  4. #4
    baltazar is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: 6 months later and I still miss her

    Bro i was in same situation some time ago, but i fight with myself and realized she doesn't deserve me. My ex also found another man after we broke up, and we were together for 2 years. Go out with your friends, flirt with other girls, learn game and go for another girl. Now, when i see my ex i just laugh and i know that she is not worth! I just had hope she will get back to me, but at the end it doesn't matter cause she choose another man over me ... I hope this will help u to realise some facts about ex's

  5. #5
    Saund128 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: 6 months later and I still miss her

    I wouldn't contact her at all. You need to start acting like your fine without her and in the mean time work on REALLY be fine without her.

    That is what I have been doing in my situation right from the start of the breakup. It has been one hell of a roller coaster ride but it is starting to pay off. She left me for another guy but it didn't pan out between them. Now after 2 months she has finally contacted me.

    The best strategy to getting someone back is getting over her. It's a win win situation.

  6. #6
    The Lion is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: 6 months later and I still miss her

    Yeah I really need to clear my head, I agree. The thing is she was like my best friend and although I was hurt for months because of her I feel somewhere that she still cares. I wasnt exactly a good boyfriend to her either. Which is what really disappoints me about my self.

    When I say that I want her around, thats because I do miss her. I dont want to take her back right now, because yeah she chose somebody else over me. But I dont want things to end like they have in such a bad manner. We got into that fight and I gave her her stuff back.. Out of misguided anger.

    Did I mess this one up for good? I want to be friends again, maybe in the future start something up again. I think after all the bullsh1t, I still do love this girl. Ive been with other women, and I go out at least twice a week. But when I seen her again, it all came back.

  7. #7
    Alexander Nicoles Advice is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: 6 months later and I still miss her

    Really sorry about the breakup. Its great that you are open and clear about the whole thing. Your Ex has definately made a decision to move on and there may be very little you can do to change her mind except if she expresses to you that she also wants you back. But if she is still with the other guy, then you will always be second. My advice is to move on too.

  8. #8
    Saund128 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: 6 months later and I still miss her

    I am in your shoes as well. My ex and I were best friends, but I could really be an asshole to her sometimes. Its been about two months since the breakup. She said she talked to this other guy that made her feel really good and thought that I wasn't doing that.

    After the breakup she kept finding reasons to contact me so I had to tell her that I needed space and that being friends wasn't a good idea. I continued no contact and just tried to better myself. Meanwhile, I am pretty sure she isn't seeing this guy. We recently became facebook friends again and she has been constantly uploading pictures to her facebook, looks like she's trying to show how much fun she is having without me. Basically she is not being herself and that reveals a lot. In the meantime, I am not reacting to any of this crap. I can tell she is having some issues with who she is right now.

    Just trying to show you that this no contact thing works no matter if you get her back or not. If you continue to contact her after the breakup it gives her a chance to ease out of the relationship. Don't give her that luxury.


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