Hello PUA enthusiasts / experts! I recently experienced being dumped for the first time in my life and it was the most painful thing I've ever gone through. I never knew such a board existed for people to share and improve each other's relationship (or just having fun) skills, good to know there is support
Basically this girl I used to work with, we started dating from Dec '11 onwards till about June '12. She's the shy type and never had a bf before. Apart from occasional fights and makeups, things went well.
However, in late June she found out that I was 31. This might sound stupid but I never actually mentioned my age to her before coz I thought she already knew. Turned out she always thought I was around 23-24 coz I look and act young. Shes 19, so there's a gap of 11 y rs. She was very upset when she found out coz she said she fell for me hard and liked me alot, but can't get her head around the age gap "right now", so she thought we shouldn't continue. I was devastated at the time and did the stupid thing of pleading for her to reconsider but it didn't work.
Theres been abit of pushing and pulling from then till now, but I hate to bore yous with too much detail... so to sum things up, we've been in low contact from July - Aug, until on August 19th we met face to face to talk things out.
Basically, she said she never wanted us to be apart, and that she never fully made a determined decision to breakup, but she just didn't feel right with the age gap right now and felt like it was something she just had to do. Also, she said she will be very upset (but will accept) if I be with another girl, because she will have lost "something very very amazing and special", but then said if I keep pushing to get back with her right now, it makes her feel uncomfortable.
She wanted me to make a decision to eliminate all contact or talk as friends, but I said I didn't want to play by her rules, and my choice was to keep things open and let our future interactions happen naturally, to which she agreed. After the initial break, she always replied to me quickly when I initiate contact, and many times have told me to "contact her anytime I want" "don't hesitate to talk whenever I want" etc. She has also initiated non essential/casual contact a few times.
Our last proper contact was a light and fun non-stop 2hr txt conversation on Aug 23, and I've been in NC (no contact) with her since and will prob keep it, coz everytime after I contact her I feel like its a mind f*ck afterwards. But she did like+comment on some fb photos I uploaded on sun (Aug 26), which she hasn't done since way b4 the breakup.
I know I've played it badly after the initial break by pleading and keeping low contact, but do you guys think there is any hope left, or its best for my own sanity to go strict NC and heal from now on?
The heartbreak is agonizing and now I know what it feels to be dumped by someone you love