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  1. #1
    ledhead is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Making slow progress but not sure how to proceed.

    Long story short, my girl left me about 2 months ago. We were together for 2 years, lived together for most of it. Until the last 2 months or so everything was great. Basically I lost my way and became extremely lazy and negligent...so she left.

    After a month of absolute NC I decided I had made enough positive changes in my life to reach out to her. I told her I didn't blame her for leaving and would like talk to her about it. To my surprise she responded to my text almost immediately and asked if we could meet that night. Unfortunately I couldn't as I had started my new job that week and really needed sleep, she said she understood.

    Said meeting has not happened yet and that was about a month ago. At first she seemed eager to tell me all the stuff I did wrong. I took the beating and agreed with most of what she said, because most of it is true. After a few days of initial contact she seemed less interested in talking. I would either get one word responses, be outright ignored, sometimes she would respond with outright hostility.

    I could see that the situation was deteriorating, so I backed off. I didn't contact her for a week, and I didn't hear from her. I finally sent another text, and at first I got a few one word responses spaced very far apart. I thought nothing had changed. Then out of the blue she sends me a text about something that happened to her at work. I didn't answer and she sent another a few hours later. Since then the quantity of communication has increased every day. Now, I usually hear from her before 9 AM if I haven't said anything. If I drop a conversation for a few hours she always attempts to start it back up.

    But the only thing that has increased is the quantity, not the quality. I want to venture into talking about the past and more importantly, the future. I don't want to seem pushy though, right now I'm just rolling with it.

  2. #2
    Hotel Yorba is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Making slow progress but not sure how to proceed.

    Sounds like you are doing pretty well for yourself so far. My advice is to not talk about past relationship stuff unless she brings it up herself. Keep things light and flirty until you have a solid Anchor on her interest. And while you do want to be inconsistent you don't want her to lose interest because you don't text her back or the convo gets boring. Talk to her about her life, relate to it somehow so she feels comfortable with you.

  3. #3
    ledhead is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Making slow progress but not sure how to proceed.

    Now it seems she's less interested in talking. She took hours to respond to me last night. We had a short convo and I cut it off and went to bed. I texted her this morning and haven't heard back yet.

    Normal push/pull gamey crap?

  4. #4
    Saund128 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Making slow progress but not sure how to proceed.

    Don't initiate contact with her. Let her do that. I would be really short with her, not rude but short. Just get busy and this happens naturally. Show her that your having fun without her. If I ever think too much about my ex, I just come on here and vent. I refuse to give into her shit tests and I will not initiate contact until she comes begging back. If she doesn't than it wasn't meant to be.

  5. #5
    Alexander Nicoles Advice is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Making slow progress but not sure how to proceed.

    Proceeding slow isnt such a bad idea because maybe both of you need sometime to get the spark of love you had before again. You musnt be too pushy because that can be risky. You can bring the past but whatever you bring from the past should be positive and not negative. Once you two are ready to get back together again, talk about marriage.

  6. #6
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    BatMan is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Making slow progress but not sure how to proceed.

    I wouldn't focus on talking about the past. Too many negative feelings anchored to it. Most issues can be handled if you focus on changing her mood, not her mind.

    As for the inconsistency, it could be many things. The important part is that you have a strong Mindset and inner game. Putting attention on her behavior and trying to interpret it costs you energy. The more energy you put into it the more you invest. So be careful on how much you invest. She probably contacted you before because you gave her mixed signals. Which makes you a puzzle she has to solve and therefore costs her investment.

    Mixed signals deserve mixed signals so respond in kind.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  7. #7
    Mr.Bojangles is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Making slow progress but not sure how to proceed.

    One word answers in text are so frustrating!

    I would get a little chat going and say you saw/heard something that reminded you of her and made her laugh ("found a pic on my phone, made me laugh" - personal fave) gets her thinking about the good times with you.

    Also don't be putting in more effort than her, I tend to not give one word answers a reply - they learn not to do it if they want an answer out of me


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