I think you’re right Batman. I posted my original summary on another forum to which I thought someone summed up the situation very well, they said;
She wants to f**k someone that isn't needy and in love with he.
You've done a lot of needy sh1t, and completely been all over the place, lost site of your mission,
you have no sense of self or what you want, and you bend and flow to her whim because you care too much about her, telling the truth and dis-agreeing about how you want to see her is not needy, unless you care if she says no
basically, your actions are not needy, if you are not needy, but when you are needy, your actions and descisions are needy
being complacent with her choices that you don't agree with and standing by passively while she dictates the flow of the interaction, is a very bad idea, she's a girl, she has not a f**king clue where to take it, and all she probably is thinking about while leading is not ''looking slutty'', and I hope this guy can read my mind
In hindsight I think your way of handling things may have been best. I guess I can keep that in mind in future.
And thanks for the advice Gonzo, really appreciate it man! It helps to get advice from someone who understands and can empathise having been through what sounds like a very similar situation. It’s a weird set of circumstances I guess, despite all her faults and the way she treated me in the end I still found her amazing. I’m glad that you’ve been able to warn me off and I can sort of learn from your mistakes before I waste any more time on her. The matter of urgency I had about contacting her was because I was afraid she’d meet someone else and completely forget about me. (Good luck to whoever that is lol). Hearing what you guys have said I think it’s best to just leave things. I think I’ll try properly going without contact for a month or two and then reassess the situation if by then I haven’t forgotten her (which I honestly hope I can) I could always just try doing what I was doing so successfully originally to make her the one chasing me. Just for future reference if need be, I think I read somewhere advice on trying to get someone back that you should make them remember positive things, memories etc. I tried that in a subtle not too over the top way to no avail before we got too nasty. Would it be worth trying again if in all unlikelihood we did get in contact? Also I’m glad that you have been able to move on Gonzo. I wish I could do that but given the distance between us I think for now my ‘f**k you’ will have to be not further pandering her ego and continuing without contact and becoming a total mystery to her, there really is no way she’ll be aware of me, where I am or what I’m doing unless we’re in contact.
And in regards to your question, I’m not sure about mental health questionnaires. I think you have to rely on your judgment. I think there’s a stigma attached to online dating for good reason. It’s a last resort for many people and something which I imagine some people with lots of insecurities or bad personalities use mostly to inflate their ego. It’s something you’d think you could suss out pretty easily, but not in my case. I think that’s why I made the assumption it was bipolar she was someone who seemed so happy and someone I would have enjoyed to be around and known a lot more than what I did. That said I thought I had this girl sussed out pretty well, she didn’t seem the crazy type and I probably wouldn’t have gotten so far involved if she had have been open about it from the start. I only learnt of her issues after I had become infatuated with her which kinda sucked because against all my better judgement I couldn’t and still can’t switch off my feelings for her. The advice from here has been great though and I realise letting those feelings continue will not make me a better person and won’t help me at all. I guess if I have any questions (it may be worth starting a new thread) is it difficult to translate online dating game into real world sarging?