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Thread: Please Help Guys Seriously Need Help With Ex GF

  1. #1
    urbanhero is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Please Help Guys Seriously Need Help With Ex GF

    Hi guys,

    I would be internally grateful if you could help me.

    My girlfriend just broke up with after 5 years of being together. I feel awful, struggling to eat and desperately want her back!

    We had 3 amazing years together until i fell into gambling problems, i lied to her saying i had stopped, but continued anyway, i then blurted all out to her and at the same time became depressed.

    I have entered NC since the break up which was 3 days ago, she has sent 1 txt which was to wish me luck on my job interview today, which again i did not reply to!

    She said she loved me and she could'nt see a future without me and said we needed a break. I said how long? she said i dunno a week? a month? If we were made for each other it will just happen!

    I am now baffled as to what to do, i agree NC is best to begin with but how long do I leave it??

    I know eventually if i do get a chance i need to try and add some spice to the relationship, which might help me as i have been reading the GAME again and am confident of getting things going again.

    I'm in complete despair please please help. i will do anything to get her back!!

    Thanks Urban

  2. #2
    No Touch is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Please Help Guys Seriously Need Help With Ex GF

    Need more info. What was the reason she broke up with you? You haven't stated it.

    Stop the gambling. Show her you have changed.
    Get a job.

    Then re-initiate contact.

    NT

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Please Help Guys Seriously Need Help With Ex GF

    Your best bet right now is to get yourself straightened out.
    Like No Touch said above, Make strides to show her you changed & are on track. Get a job, & get help with the gambling & depression.

    There's no specific amount of time for the "No contact" rule... because everyone progresses at different rates.
    It might take a couple months, or even longer. But don't even think about the length of time.

    Just focus on becoming the Man you need to be, & doing whatever it takes to get there, because when you do, THAT'S when she'll notice... and that's when you'll have the chance to patch things up & start out fresh, and on a positive foundation.



    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  4. #4
    urbanhero is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Please Help Guys Seriously Need Help With Ex GF

    Wow great speed on the reply's guys, i know your going to be helpful.

    I have somehow managed to keep a job throughout the saga, and after counselling i am now cured. I don't even know how i got out of this problem.

    She ended it by saying its just not working! Also i have been too negative lately. She had expressed problems before but they were minor and every time i cured these problems.

    If i act as if i don't care, would she not think that nothing has changed? And if i cant be positive around her as we cant meet, how can i prove ive changed for the good?

    I want to tell her i'm sorry and i understand why I messed up and that i can change and will to be more positive and improve our relationship.

    I have already a new hairstyle, bought new clothes, spent time in the gym. You see i will do anything possible to get her back. I fear its too late!!

    To me these issues are small and can be easily rectified, but how do i explain this to her without NC?

    Say i left it 2 months - would it not be over be then? I mean we talked everyday! this is sooo hard!

  5. #5
    urbanhero is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Please Help Guys Seriously Need Help With Ex GF

    I Personally think that there might not be anything I can do anyways. It is down to her at the end of the day and maybe she just wants to be single. However, I want to give myself the best possibly chance and maybe even try some new ways and let you guys know for the future.

    I think I will leave it 2 weeks period. After that point I will be honest I will be seriously worried if she has not contacted me. So I will drop a casual text saying "Lets me up, when are you available". Im certain she will agree to a meet, especially as she ended it on the phone!

    This meeting would then be crucial. I will attempt to re game her, I wont focus on changing on the mistakes i have made, this will only give her negative thoughts which will appear every time she thinks of me. Instead I will be ultra positive and bubberly, throw her a few neg 's and have a few relaxed drinks with her.

    Then I will leave and go back into NC for a week. Maybe the odd NEG txt. Then I will repeat again and eventually try to bed her again, as I fell sex has a massive effect in relationships and as we had'nt done it for sooo long, this would need to be addresssed. Hopefully then she will become emotionally attached again.

    This is going to be bloody hard going. But as i have learned from the GAME, things you think that are impossible, are not, its just a case of problem solving!

    THOUGHTS GUYS.

    P.S. I know I have had depression and gambling problems before, but trust me I am worth helping, I am a trier.

  6. #6
    urbanhero is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Please Help Guys Seriously Need Help With Ex GF

    Now I am ever more concerned, I spoke to a girl at work on this matter and she said that NC might not be the best answer in this case!

    She said that by the sounds of things I dont spend enough time with my ex in our relationship and that she would want you to prove it by txting you and showing her that i do give her attention and that i do love her.

    She might be thinking "he never bothered with me in the relationship and hes now proving it by not getting into contact - hence making her decision easier!

    NOW IM COMPLETLY CONFUSED - JUST DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO!!

  7. #7
    urbanhero is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Please Help Guys Seriously Need Help With Ex GF

    Great!!! I found her on my twitter account, adding a guy and tweeting him!! I know this is probably a shit test but what now? She would never of done this when we were going out and I know that she is doing it to get to me! She rarely uses twitter and she knows im not on facebook, so why?

    Im livid, Is there seriously anyone that can help?

  8. #8
    No Touch is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Please Help Guys Seriously Need Help With Ex GF

    Mate CHILL OUT relax.

    I bet the girl that you spoke to said tell her how you feel as soon as possible otherwise she could find someone else etc or something along those lines? Yeah don't keep no contact.


    If she's tweeting other guys, go out and go get photographed with some nice HB's and upload them to your twitter or where she can see them. Let her know you have other options and you don't care about her. This also dhv's. 2 months is a good time so aim for that if you want.

    negs are used to lower value. Its not about lowering her value its more about displaying higher value yourself.

    Stop panicking and sitting there staring at her twitter thinking about what she is doing what she might be doing and how you think she is quickly trying to replace you. When you break up with someone you break your own heart not just theirs.

    NT

    P.S

    Would give more advice but about to go out will check in a few hours.

  9. #9
    urbanhero is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Please Help Guys Seriously Need Help With Ex GF

    Thanks for keeping me stable No Touch, all your thoughts are very welcomed.

    I think my mind and body go through many different motions and I feel mentally weak at times. I assume its all part of the break up process.

    I know she was on facebook, telling everyone it was time for her to go away on holiday as well. Another shit test?

    Keep calm carry on.

    Any more advice guys??

  10. #10
    No Touch is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Please Help Guys Seriously Need Help With Ex GF

    I've been there before my self mate. I know all what your going through.

    It sounds like to me she could be trying to say to all her mates she wants to go on holiday because she wants to move on etc.
    But really I think she could be saying that as she knows word may get round to you and she is trying to make you jealous/worry. Keep calm and keep no contact.

    Does she have any events coming up or anything? Like birthday etc?

    NT


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