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Thread: Things going well with my ex?

  1. #21
    liukang75 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Things going well with my ex?

    I really feel that you need to get sexual with her right away. You were alone with her and she was responsive to the Kino. Why didn't you escalate?
    “The great mistake is to anticipate the outcome of the engagement; you ought not to be thinking of whether it ends in victory or defeat. Let nature take its course, and your tools will strike at the right moment.” -Bruce Lee

  2. #22
    mth185 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Things going well with my ex?

    Quote Originally Posted by liukang75 View Post
    I really feel that you need to get sexual with her right away. You were alone with her and she was responsive to the Kino. Why didn't you escalate?
    Only because I knew she had to get to work and wanted to get the resume done...I know that I need to make a move ASAP...but a much more important issue has come up that makes the situation even more precarious - she found out yesterday that her mom was diagnosed with inoperable cancer. I texted her yesterday morning (before I knew) and didnt hear from her until last night, she was pretty shaken up all day and obviously dealing with that. So she called me to tell me about that and said that she didnt want me to think that she was blowing me off. Of course I want to play the game and get her back, but I feel like I should give her as much support as I can right now with all this going on.

  3. #23
    striker12 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Things going well with my ex?

    By all means give her support but do it in an alpha way. I Didmt really know what I would do in this situation but I feel I would give support when she asks for it just so it's not added pressure. But saying this I have never been in this situation before.

    Good luck.

    Striker

  4. #24
    mth185 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Things going well with my ex?

    Yeah it's kind of a sticky situation...haven't heard from her in a few days, I'm just giving her space right now. I know it breaks the rules of the text game, but I might shoot her a quick text today just to see how she's holding up.

  5. #25
    mth185 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Things going well with my ex?

    Well after a few weeks of progress the trail seems to have gone cold...I've barely heard from her in the last week and a half or so, and maybe it's just my imagination but I get the feeling that she's been seeing someone and doesn't want me to know about it.

  6. #26
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Things going well with my ex?

    Cancers, people dying, exams, sick dogs - honestly they are never obstacles. If you meet a girl and something sudden happens to her or her family there's not much you can change but if the girl likes you she (or her family) will seek you out for support without you doing a thing. Or you are forced to move on to new ground as a 'family' dynamic takes over. Consider that as a way over the obstacle.

    If you don't know the family well there's nothing you can really do anyway and if you do know the family well then you're already friendzoned haha. Don't be too eager. It is not a soap opera.

    As always it's a numbers game - if you meet someone and before you have had a chance to develop attraction (and they don't see you as a crutch) there's nothing you can do. If you knew the girl longer then you didn't make a move earlier. If it happened in reverse and your own dad got cancer, you would naturally be upset, of course, but you wouldn't ignore a girl that entered your life in a meaningful way. You would probably still sleep with her or bring her in closer.

    Someone or someones close family member being ill or dying is an excuse for temporary flaking but not an excuse to reject falling in love. Love conquers all because it is ultimately new life. Death should inspire love. 4 weddings and a funeral.

    Unless she's reaching out for you, I'd seek new ground and bearings for a while. Maybe she could have chosen someone else as her crutch?

  7. #27
    mth185 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Things going well with my ex?

    Quote Originally Posted by whitedragon View Post
    Cancers, people dying, exams, sick dogs - honestly they are never obstacles. If you meet a girl and something sudden happens to her or her family there's not much you can change but if the girl likes you she (or her family) will seek you out for support without you doing a thing. Or you are forced to move on to new ground as a 'family' dynamic takes over. Consider that as a way over the obstacle.

    If you don't know the family well there's nothing you can really do anyway and if you do know the family well then you're already friendzoned haha. Don't be too eager. It is not a soap opera.

    As always it's a numbers game - if you meet someone and before you have had a chance to develop attraction (and they don't see you as a crutch) there's nothing you can do. If you knew the girl longer then you didn't make a move earlier. If it happened in reverse and your own dad got cancer, you would naturally be upset, of course, but you wouldn't ignore a girl that entered your life in a meaningful way. You would probably still sleep with her or bring her in closer.

    Someone or someones close family member being ill or dying is an excuse for temporary flaking but not an excuse to reject falling in love. Love conquers all because it is ultimately new life. Death should inspire love. 4 weddings and a funeral.

    Unless she's reaching out for you, I'd seek new ground and bearings for a while. Maybe she could have chosen someone else as her crutch?
    Don't get me wrong, I wasn't implying that she's been distant because of her mom's situation, I figured that she'd been seeing someone. And now that suspicion is confirmed...talked to her today, and I flat out asked her what was wrong and asked her why she's been so flaky lately? Said that she was seeing someone (her friends brother, she goes to her friends house a lot and he's always conveniently there), I think I reacted to it ok. I just said that I figured that was the case and that she shouldn't think that she has to hide anything from me, and also that I've been seeing someone too (which is true). Exchanged niceties, and told her I'd see her around. Honestly, I still want this girl back. I know that I should just keep acting distant and slightly aloof...anything else I can do or should I just back out completely? I'm not the guy that settles for second place, so obviously I'm not gonna settle for being friends and follow her around like a little puppy dog.

  8. #28
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Things going well with my ex?

    Sorry to hear. Getting back with an ex who now has a new BF is second place. I'd move on and let both of you get on with your lives.

  9. #29
    mth185 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Things going well with my ex?

    It's not a new BF, they just started seeing each other in the last few weeks. I guess I can't really call it a rebound thing cause its been a few months since we broke up. But yeah, guess I'm just gonna move on with the girl I've been seeing, see how everything works out.


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