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  1. #1
    V0x
    V0x is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Getting Your Ex Back - Philosophy, how I did it and how I'm doing it now

    I found this forum because I'm in the same situation a lot of people posting in this board are in right now. Not just that, but I have been in that situation before and because of my successes, failures and philosophy I believe I can bring new discussion to the table.

    The fact is, is that the PUA community is totally unsympathetic to the vast, vast majority of people posting on their boards wanting to get their ex back. Getting your ex back does not fit in with PUA philosophy at all. The truth of the matter is that we are all the architects of our own lives. We choose the paths we go down and the journeys we have and the destinations we travel towards. Yes, sometimes you have to throw the towel in and most importantly know when to throw it in but if you want a girl fight for her. However, DO NOT humiliate yourself. I once cried at a bus stop in front of about 60 people when I broke up with one of my ex's as I begged her to come back. I tried a barrage of techniques on her, but never got her back. There are several reasons for this which I will go into later. That being said I have won two of my ex's back, one of them multiple times including a time when she was seeing another guy.

    My key tip is that you genuinely have to not care. It's no good pretending not to care, you genuinely cannot care. Girls know when a guy actually cares and they know when he doesn't. I would recommend doing things which rid yourself of self doubt and distancing yourself as far away from your girl as possible. Go out as much as possible, spend minimum time alone, make as many new friends as possible and importantly you want to at least k/close girls if not bed them. Your ex doesn't have to find out but k/closing and sleeping with girls will probably boost your confidence up to a level where you don't actually care about the situation. If you do this and you still care a lot about the situation, rinse and repeat until you would be happy with the situation going either way.

    There is one other key tip that will not apply to most guys here, but remember this for future relationships or when you get your ex back and you don't want to lose her again. Understand the signs that tell you your ex is going to break up with you. When you see them, don't panic. Most guys can do the first part because we can all read other people to a certain extent. The second part is a lot harder and comes with confidence and a certain amount of skill in handling situations where you'll be in a lot of pressure. If you can handle it well and don't panic you won't make the mistakes that 90% of guys make in the first few days, the begging, the buying and the bullying. Even if that does happen don't worry too much. You have about a week to man up and say no to that kind of stuff and initiate no contact with her.

    No contact reaches its peak of effectiveness after about a month. A month without talking to someone you spoke to daily often for great periods of time is crucifying for most men. I've read 5 or 6 guys saying it was the hardest thing they ever did and it truly is. My advice is find a way to fill the time. If you're new to PUA, PUA is a great art form you can learn. I've found that it didn't just help me with the obvious; women and confidence but also a whole load of other things too! It's also something where every hour of reading really has to be matched by several hours of field work to be truly effective, so it gets you out and about, which is crucial if you don't want to be one of those guys who sits alone in their bedrooms because their girlfriend left them.

    Don't buy into any of these 'experts' who want you to pay vast amounts of money for products who's effectiveness can be matched with good game and if you don't have good game you won't be able to pull any of them off anyway. At it's best it is extremely crude marketing and at its worst it is sheer exploitation. I cannot think of anything more debilitating for someone's confidence than paying money for one of those books.

    Now I'll go through some of my stories.
    -Ex GF #1
    This girl dumped me because I failed a basic Sh1t Test. I was young and unfamiliar with PUA/The Game/Anything like that. Initiated no contact with her and she had a succession of boyfriends. Started talking to her a few months later and then got back with her a year after our break up. Didn't last because she wasn't right for me. It's worth pointing out that I didn't pursue her and up until the moment of clinching a new relationship with her I wasn't that bothered.

    -Ex GF #2
    My biggest failure. This is the girl I mentioned earlier on in the post. I cried my eyes out, tried it on with her for ages pulling every trick in the book. PUA to the lowest tricks out. Basically I ignored her everytime I saw her. I came to realise later that I had made her feel so guilty about the relationship ending that until I made her feel okay I would never get anywhere. In doing that I pushed her into the arms of two other men. I have tried apologising to her a few times but she doesn't want to know and I'm beyond caring at this point, because of circumstantial changes I will probably never see her again. This girl taught me a lot about getting back with girls. Implement a strategy early and stay cool.

    -Ex GF #3
    Conversely my greatest success. This was a relationship I got myself into as a result of trying to get the ex I just mentioned back. When we broke up, I initiated it because I sensed it was coming and I did so with a degree of malice. This gave me the asshole card, which FWIW is a card worth playing sometimes. Went out with this girl about seven times (Sometimes relationships aren't meant to work out.)and every time I ended it but got her back. This includes getting her back when she was in a 3 month relationship with another dude. I haven't communicated with this girl since April but even as recently as last week she was trying to initiate with me and invite herself to my place 250 miles away! Give a girl a bit of drama and she's yours for life.

    -Ex GF #4 - The current target of my affections.

    Was with this girl for a long time, due to the fact she was at one time pregnant with my child I hold a real flame for her. I've spoken to other guys in my position who have told me they feel the same about their ex/divorced spouse. She does my head in but I have made several plays already, but busted no contact today, after telling her I was done with the drama and telling her I wanted no further contact she texted me back... I'll let you know where it goes from here.

    Anyways, I'd love to hear your feedback about this and also if there's any advice I can give people I'd be more than happy too.

    Happy sailing!

  2. #2
    No Touch is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Getting Your Ex Back - Philosophy, how I did it and how I'm doing it no

    Why would you keep getting back with them? work on your inner game its ok one or two. But from what i'm reading it seems like you just fall hard for every girl then rebound on to another one. Relax go meet more girls, game more at once, you can have more then one!!

    NT

  3. #3
    V0x
    V0x is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Getting Your Ex Back - Philosophy, how I did it and how I'm doing it no

    Quote Originally Posted by No Touch View Post
    Why would you keep getting back with them? work on your inner game its ok one or two. But from what i'm reading it seems like you just fall hard for every girl then rebound on to another one. Relax go meet more girls, game more at once, you can have more then one!!

    NT
    I've cheated on 3/4 of the girls above. I have no problem getting women, if I wanted a different girl I could probably get her, but like I said I'm the architect of my own life.

  4. #4
    baltazar is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Getting Your Ex Back - Philosophy, how I did it and how I'm doing it no

    i m liking your post, cause when i broke up with my ex i also beg, cry, showing all that bad stuff But i did my best, and now i m dating another women, get self confidence back and so on ...

  5. #5
    V0x
    V0x is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Getting Your Ex Back - Philosophy, how I did it and how I'm doing it no

    Glad you liked it. Pretty sure I have this ex in the bag...

  6. #6
    Victory37 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Getting Your Ex Back - Philosophy, how I did it and how I'm doing it no

    hey v0x i am currently in a struggle of trying to get back my x and it has been up and down. i recently just told her 2 days ago basically how it has been one sided, and she needs to step up her game or im moving on.. even though we arent together we are like talking and occasionally hanging out, but nothing physical, and she isn't initiating enough. so basically she took what i said and said she understands, put a little more effort in the next day, but now i decided to initiate NC and just be cold and ignore her, what do you think?

  7. #7
    V0x
    V0x is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Getting Your Ex Back - Philosophy, how I did it and how I'm doing it no

    Quote Originally Posted by Victory37 View Post
    hey v0x i am currently in a struggle of trying to get back my x and it has been up and down. i recently just told her 2 days ago basically how it has been one sided, and she needs to step up her game or im moving on.. even though we arent together we are like talking and occasionally hanging out, but nothing physical, and she isn't initiating enough. so basically she took what i said and said she understands, put a little more effort in the next day, but now i decided to initiate NC and just be cold and ignore her, what do you think?
    No Contact and Freezing girls out are exceptionally good plays to make if a) You do them right and b) If you get the timing right. Fail on both and it will be nowhere near as effective. Don't be cold or bitter or actually ignore them. That screams that you've been effected by her. Just don't talk to her unless she talks to you. If she messages or texts you take a while to respond; you have better things to do. If she calls you make a decision on whether to pick up. Don't ignore all her calls. When you answer, make it your goal to be as confident as possible. If she persists on talking to you and she's screwing you around then freeze her out again. If she's meeting up with you and not doing anything with you, you probably aren't pushing her buttons. If you do meet up with her again, be sure to give her some killer Kino that will really make her want you. Getting her horny, IMO is at least half the battle, honestly.

    I hope that helps, be sure to let me know if you need any help on this thread or PM.

    Bit of an update on my own situation. I have this one in the bag completely now. I'm going to hers for the weekend on Friday night and I know right now that I am going to have her. The next step is keeping it all together.

  8. #8
    Traptowner is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Getting Your Ex Back - Philosophy, how I did it and how I'm doing it no

    I enjoy your post sir. I especially like the give a girl a little drama part... I attract the drama queens and princesses, I have patterns. If I can't give someone 100% I shouldn't be with them.

  9. #9
    No Touch is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Getting Your Ex Back - Philosophy, how I did it and how I'm doing it no

    Quote Originally Posted by V0x View Post
    Bit of an update on my own situation. I have this one in the bag completely now. I'm going to hers for the weekend on Friday night and I know right now that I am going to have her. The next step is keeping it all together.
    Check out my thread in the members lounge section of the forum any advice appreciated.

    NT

  10. #10
    V0x
    V0x is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Getting Your Ex Back - Philosophy, how I did it and how I'm doing it no

    Quote Originally Posted by Traptowner View Post
    I enjoy your post sir. I especially like the give a girl a little drama part... I attract the drama queens and princesses, I have patterns. If I can't give someone 100% I shouldn't be with them.
    You attract them because virtually all women are drama queens on some level. Whilst some may not broadcast it, they love the emotional roller coaster. I suspect that may be a cause for a lot of breakups and instant reunions. Notice how some relationships follow a pattern of break up - back together - break up - back together - repeat.


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