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  1. #1
    chasta5 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Help please - Ex with a new guy but periodically hooks up again anyway

    Hey whatsup guys, just looking for a bit of advice from those with more experience than myself. So, some brief background:

    So my ex and I broke up over the summer about 2/3 months ago, had been dating for around 7. We both go to the same college, this year live in the same building and I have a class with her so we ended up running into each other as soon as school started. I soon find out shes dating someone new, we have a big talk that doesn't end very well and I think that's the end of it. But then the next week I run into her, she ends up coming over to help me with some hw for the class we have and we end up making out/shirts off but no sex. Next day, she gives me a shpeal about how she feels terrible and needs to cut it off and never do that again. I failed to act logically and asked why we couldnt get back together, herpdederp, shit is back to square one.

    Last sunday, despite that, the same thing happens, and monday, the same shpeal..except this time I told her to quite leading me on and be honest with her bf. She skipped class the next wendesday and I haven't seen her since...

    Anyway, here's my goals/problems:
    1) Ideally, I'd like to get back with her still, even though shes been seeing this guy for a bit more than a month or so. It seems everytime I make headway in that department, she bugs out about cheating on him, I get emotionally involved and screw things up instead of remaining aloof and telling her I respect her decision.

    2) Shes told me she still has feelings for me, misses me, and misses having sex with me (but wishes there werent emotions involved). Thats great, (cause I guess the new guy is a slouch in the bedroom) but I'm really sick of the circular nature of this and would like to go one way or the other. I've been seeing other people, but all casually - 3 or 4 girls in the interim period but none have really stuck out to me as gf material.

    I'm thinking I'm just going to ignore her until I see her in class or she reaches out to me, attempt this again and act aloof at the hook point. One last caveat, we're both going to a edm concert a week from today due to mutual friends, so I'll probably be within the same group with her for that.

    But anyway, If anyone could give me a bit of advice as to where to head from here that'd be greatly appreciated!! I'm sick of the emotional turmoil this has caused me but at the same time, I miss the sex, miss her as a person, etc etc. (But I'd rather be happy if this looks like a lost cause!)

  2. #2
    The Lion is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Help please - Ex with a new guy but periodically hooks up again anyway

    It Doesnt seem like she is too emotionally stable at this point. She obviously still has feelings for you. She even told you that she would like to sleep with you if she didnt care about you so much.

    Staying rational is hard to do when your dealing with these type of emotions. Girls are far more in touch with their emotions than we are.

    At this point she knows you want her back. She may even feel the same. The problem is that she is with somebody else. This is all to common with girls, who get out of serious relationships. He is probably a rebound.

    You will be seeing her since you guys have school together. Show her that you dont need her (but DONT be fake). Maybe flirt with other girls and show her that you are a wanted man. I cannot stress being real enough though. As soon as she thinks your trying to make her jealous, It will push her away fast. Be in control of your own life, as hard as that is when you really love somebody you cant have. Women respect that, and I think that if you take her off the pedestal, she probably will want you back (not definetly but more likely).

    Remember she is a guest in your reality. If she is not making you happier than ask her to leave. Good luck! Let us know what happens


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