I totally should have seen it coming...fell in love with my best friend of 8 years who is recently divorced and it was amazing for 6 months, until she decided she couldn't commit...or at least was testing me.
the thing is she came to me scared, but I didn't really reassure her - kind of told her it was OK to not want to commit and it was ok too date other people. I kind of gave her space at the wrong time. She told me she was scared to commit in July. So I gave her space when she really wanted me to fight for her...so she started dating someone else. I came to my senses, but it was kind of too late.
I told her that I made the biggest mistake in my life and didn't tell my best friend I had fell in love with her. She cried and said "I needed to hear that two weeks ago". Explained how that she took my talk with her that I wasn't interested and now she had started dating someone else and started to have feelings for them. She was torn.
We talked a few nights later for 7 hours...and she decided she still had strong feelings for me but couldn't decide what she wanted. She was scared to be with me but scared to be without me. She wanted to date us both, which I reluctantly accepted.
She made it clear I was never a rebound and she had really sincere feelings for me. She got scared because it was too good - way better than her marriage and any other guy she was ever with.
It took her two months to really let me go. It just never rebounded to what it was...but she did try really hard to see me and make time for me. I really only felt her 50% invested...obviously as she was dating someone else. She wouldn't let me go though...I hinted at it several times. I HAD to do it as my emotions were on tilt...I wasn't going to be able to handle the casual open relationship.
After two weeks I told her it wasn't working for me and that I loved her but I needed to let her go.
I asked for space for 30 days and tried NC. She texted me during that time and I responded on just a couple of texts. She even texted me a picture of a book I gave her when I told her that I loved her.
We talked after the 30 day attempt of space.
She is serious with the new guy now because I think I wasn't strong enough to a) tell her how I felt when she needed me to and b) be emotionally strong enough to fight for her when she was torn b/w us both...not sure if I can recover from that.
From mutual friends I've heard the new guys is a "man whore, a drunk, just a bad guy etc."...She also lost her female best friend over this because the new guy is her female best friends ex boyfriend's cousin. She asked her female best friend if she could date him and she said no. So she started seeing this guy behind her back (and kind of behind my back).
I might be naive, but I really do feel that she did and does still love me on some level. That it has more to do with her issues moving on from a divorce than me. I think she needs her freedom, her wings and her bad boy fix.
She wants to be friends (considering we were very close friends for 8 years prior).I would never consider friendship, but she has been a very close friend for many years...I still have a lot of emotional attachment so I'm not sure what to do at this point other than continue NC and if she comes back, she comes back.
No contact until she tries to get a hold of me? Put myself back in the friend zone?
I am moving on and dating other girls.