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  1. #1
    transientpua is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default weird situation - hope its the correct forum

    Ok, so first post and sorry to intrude but its a weird one for me and I figure it never hurts to ask around, right?

    Here's some background:

    So I've been living in Greece for the past 6 months or so and met this great english girl here. We actually met when I visited last year for a week but she had a b/f at the time and I was sorta seeing a girl so it meant nothing.

    Now this year, we met again, she's gotten faaaaaaarkin hot and we get along like a house on fire. Turns out she's broken up with her BF so we, after a week or so, hook up. All good right? Well, as a result of a combination of factors (mostly stress and too much booze) I end up having a few panic attacks (first time in my life, whole other story) and she, quite rightly, says we need to stop what we're doing so I can get healthy again. All good.

    After a couple of weeks I find out she's back with her ex. I wouldn't go so far as to say I'm mortified but yeah, it hurt. So over the next couple of months we drift apart - don't worry, I'm getting laid - some good stories came out of this time, maybe I'll share later. After a couple of months she breaks up with him for the same reasons they broke up the first time and we end up getting back together again. Sadly, with her comes a very intense lifestyle (something I'm working on) involving a LOT of booze, late nights etc. Now I work 9 hours a day EVERY SINGLE DAY, no day off for 6 months and the same thing happens. Too much stress, too much booze and I have another panic attack. She, rightly, flees.

    So she runs back to her ex and I go pull a couple of french girls. I understand I have NO right to feel jealous and yet I do. Before you all scream it, this is NOT 1-itis. I've had that before, this is different. I have no issues pulling other girls and I'm not in love with this girl - but I DO really really like her. I havent had as much fun with anyone as I have with her, I (oddly enough) trust her and without putting too fine a point on it, she's sex on (long, long) legs.

    So whats the problem I hear you say? Well, she's moving to my home country and I'm actually going home for the first time in 3 years, so we'll be living about an hour from each other. I wont be there for another 6 weeks and she'll arrive, after a holiday, about a week later.

    So how do I play this? I know I have 6 weeks to get my sh1t in order and I'm under no illusions, I'm not lying awake at night dreaming of us being together - but as I said, I REALLY like this girl and for the first time in a long time I'd like to see how it all plays out. I'm more than willing to put in a lot of work (it's going to be a slow month at work anyway).

    So she obviously has a thing for her ex and he's said he's coming to join her/us, though I think its incredibly unlikely.

    I'm not entirely sure what sort of responses I'm expecting or wanting. Im hoping after 6-8 weeks away, it will effectively hit the reset button for both of us and I'll effectively have to start again but with the significant advantage or already having been with her. The thing that gets me is that I'm reacting emotionally to all of this when I know I should just be my usual rational self.

    So if you were in this or a similar situation - seeing an on-again, off-again girl after a bit of time apart - how would you guys play it?

    Sorry for the rambling post, hope it all makes sense.

    Cheers
    Transient.

  2. #2
    The Red Baron's Avatar
    The Red Baron is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: weird situation - hope its the correct forum

    Well focus on your stress first

    You have a third panick attack and you won't get a fourth chance

    Tone down the drinking, enjoy a glass of wine or whatever but keep it under wraps

    Shoot, I'd even go so far as to tell her how I feel after everything gets hot and heavy. Not before, just tell her you like her and look forward to spending time with her in a way you don't with other people

    Leave your jealousy behind. Yea it's there, and when you like someone it's going to be there. You need to pretend its not unless you two agree to a commited relationship

    Either way, keep it confident and cool. She's in to you, so don't freak out, don't show neediness.

    But like I said, make sure your stress is in check and you're ready to see her. Sounds like you like her, that's good, she seems cool
    Never need praise, sympathy, or approval



  3. #3
    transientpua is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: weird situation - hope its the correct forum

    Thanks Baron,

    I know I need to get my head in order, which kinda makes it all that much more frustrating. Saw her hanging out with her ex again last night (holding hands and all that shit). The thing that irritates me is that it irritates me. I'm actually looking forward to this time apart, it'll let me get my head right and when we meet again I'll be able to decide whether I like this girl or if I'm actually just going insane.

    Weird thing for me, I've never been jealous before but there's something about this girl. I think a part of it may be pride/my ego. Actually I'm sure if it, at least thats why it hurts seeing her with him. Every other time I've liked a girl thats with a guy I've seen it as a challenge - a challenge I overcome 90% of the time - and it actually motivates me more... and yet this time...

    Anyway, she's leaving today. I'll post updates as things unfold.

    Cheers
    transient

  4. #4
    Ghingis ockotron is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: weird situation - hope its the correct forum

    Buddy, self improvement! Sort out the panic attacks and if she does really like you then she will be a fan of the new calmer you haha. I wrote a paper on this kind of thing at uni; There is a difference between a panic and stress attack, see the doc and find out what one. Either way the best thing you would proberbly try is yoga! It's not just the meditation and stretches (flexibility proberbly won't be a bad thing though) the breathing excersises are really helpful and will help to calm you if the situation does come. Plus there are some amazing distressing excersises in yoga. Getting into yoga (really into it would help to balance your life aswel and generally distress you. You can also find pairs yoga for when she's over (to help with your self improvement haha) can be prety erotic at times though so judge it well. If you don't fact yoga ten thai chi (not sure of the spelling) or any kong fu generally help. And don't worry about her guy, most girls who flit back and forward with ex's will only do so until they have some one new and meaningfull (not just a rebound haha) around to help them lose the fear of being alone.


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