Yeah, you're right. While i chose to believe her, at the back of my mind i wouldn't be surprised if they have a thing going on. Though, i would be lying if i say i wouldn't be disappointed
Yes, after the break, i never got nasty on her once (though i definitely showed traits of a Beta Bitch right after the split). Which is what makes me think that i still stand a chance. We definitely had some good times together. If nothing, at least the sex is great we did some kinky and adventurous stuff together. i basically made her so horny at times that she's begging me for e sex. (which is why i think she's cautious to meeting up with me; afraid of getting sucked into me too fast too soon again)
I know for me I'd rather assume she did something and find out later she didn't than vice versa.
Yeah.... if i do get back with her, i wouldn't want the thought of her being "used" by others and then getting back with me to play on my mind all the time . I do get what you mean; not to get my hopes high and then get disappointed/crushed later on.
But that is also the reason for the urge. To either get closure or to know it is right to continue harbouring hopes of getting back together. Or to know if i should just give it up. To know if i should continue to "plan" my course of battle.
But like u said, it's a delicate situation and if i make more mistakes, i might just push her away for good.
p.s. i am saying all these as a venue to voice out my emotions and pen my thoughts. It actually makes me feel better.