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Thread: Broke nc, ADVICE on next step (reconnecting)

  1. #41
    jackerson is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Broke nc, ADVICE on next step (reconnecting)

    ahhh, so things got interesting again.
    i asked her out on new years eve, and she flake on me. i went on to have a nice party (with some chicks of course) of my own while she ended up spending the night with another guy.

    i was furious when i first saw the pictures she posted with that guy (especially when she told me she had "nothing planned yet" for New Year's Eve) but i went ahead and enjoy my own party.

    So few days later, she texted me after seeing me being tagged in some girl's photo during the party but i DIDN'T even reply her. Again, few days later she texted me asking me why i ignored her. it escalated into an argument especially after she got angry at me, and i asked why the hell is she getting so angry. (i mean she got another guy now.... so what the fuck does she want/why the fuck is she angry).

    We agreed that we should probably meet up to talk face to face.
    Now question, how should i approach that meet up. Now that it has reached this stage, i think showing emotional honesty is important. i want to tell her everything i feel, about what she did, and how i feel. Thoughts?

  2. #42
    jackerson is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Broke nc, ADVICE on next step (reconnecting)

    hello is there anyone here?
    SOS

  3. #43
    Learning The Ropes is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Broke nc, ADVICE on next step (reconnecting)

    Meeting up is important so definitely go ahead and do it.

    But things don't always turn out the way you plan so I would let her lead where the conversation goes. Start light, have fun and have a laugh. If the conversation heads that way and it is appropriate by all means tell her what you want to tell her.

    Basically see where it goes and react accordingly because plans backfire sometimes.

    But you have every reason to be confident, this girl obviously likes you.

  4. #44
    jackerson is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Broke nc, ADVICE on next step (reconnecting)

    Quote Originally Posted by Learning The Ropes View Post
    Meeting up is important so definitely go ahead and do it.

    But things don't always turn out the way you plan so I would let her lead where the conversation goes. Start light, have fun and have a laugh. If the conversation heads that way and it is appropriate by all means tell her what you want to tell her.

    Basically see where it goes and react accordingly because plans backfire sometimes.

    But you have every reason to be confident, this girl obviously likes you.

    Yeahhh i agree things don't always turn out according to plans. I have managed to asked her out next week (well supposed to meet 1 week back but end up both of us were busy) and i plan to take her out for a dinner and probably do some spontaneous stuff and see where it goes. And then when i send her back home, i would start on the "serious" stuffs. stuffs like why she got "mad" at me the other time and how i felt towards all these incidents, and see where the conversation goes...

    Meanwhile, before i meet up with her, i would like to take in as much advice as possible! so if anyone here can give some input it'd be great

  5. #45
    jackerson is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Broke nc, ADVICE on next step (reconnecting)

    Alright so i went ahead and met up with her. the whole outing was light and casual, though i was a tad irritated by her constant use of her phone (to play games). At the end of the night, we sat down and had a nice chat. That was when i delve into the "serious" stuff and she was clearly taken aback.

    I asked why she flipped out on me the other time just because i didn't reply and she got a little agitated. She explained stuff from her point of view, saying how she thought i didn't even want to be friend with her anymore which is why she was angry. I explained that she made me felt like i was just a "convenient" friend and she was clearly upset. saying she did nothing of the sorts and wasn't trying to make use of me. When i gave examples, she said that she thought i was a really really good friend and some one that she can REALLY talk to, regarding any kind of things. And that is why she got in touch with me once again, because she felt like i would make a good friend.

    The reason she flake hot and cold on me was because she said when certain stuff she did (ioi) start to give me wrong ideas / etc, she will try to withdraw so as to not give me the wrong intention (bullshit). After that, she admitted she's dating the other guy right now (as per my suspicion) and she can't feel the same way towards me as she did the last time round. That said, she was very upset that things turned out this way and that we cannot be lovers, but cannot be friends as well. We both agreed that we should stop contacting each other for awhile before we even try to be "friends" again.

    After that, i ran Kino on her, gave her something that i wanted to pass to her awhile back, and we were in each other's embrace for like a solid 10 mins and she hugged me really tightly. We whispered things into each other ears and i said how i wished things would turn out differently. She said that she is now dating the other guy and if anything developed between us, it's not fair to others as well.

    (i think that is a solid hint for a BF destroyer)
    Any thoughts?? haha, i was thinking on going on at least a 2 weeks NC and then go all beta for the BF destroyer while continuing to be fun.

    PAGING FOR @HardRock what's your thought bro?

  6. #46
    Learning The Ropes is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Broke nc, ADVICE on next step (reconnecting)

    Hey bro.

    First off, well done on the meet up. It sounds like you got across what you wanted to.

    Am I right in saying that your first post was back in 2012 but you are still trying to get her back. That's a long time bro without much payback so respect for your patience and discipline.

    You've tried all sorts of things and only you know this girl well. We can only guess what might or might not work but you should have a good feel by now.

    Think logically about what has worked for you and do that.

    BUT there has to come a time when you are prepared to walk away. Sorry to be blunt here bro but you can't do this forever. If she has no intentions of ever getting back with you, you need to be able to take the pain and move on.

    For now, good luck.

  7. #47
    jackerson is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Broke nc, ADVICE on next step (reconnecting)

    No offense taken bro. Well, i've dated a few girls after her but there's.... this appeal of her that keeps me drawn in.
    There's just this something about her that other girls didn't make me feel.
    I went nc after i broke up w her, but when she started to get in touch with me again, i realised that she really fits me. and them residual feelings came surfacing again

    thanks for the input though

  8. #48
    saguviper is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Broke nc, ADVICE on next step (reconnecting)

    Dude, what you got is the evil oneitus. You need to move on and let her go. Let life take its course, easier said than done right? Well, I had a really good friend of mine who dated this girl for a while. Then they broke up and lived their own lives for more than a year. Soon, they realized after dating a different people that they were meant for each other. They have been married for about 5 years and have 1 kid and another on the way. You don't know what you could be missing out by worrying about his one. Who knows what 6 months from now, where both of you may be at. You could be falling in love again with each other or you could meet a girl who blows your ex out of the competition.

    Again, easier said than done, but you got to take the step forward to improve, not step backwards.

    Best of luck to you

  9. #49
    Learning The Ropes is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Broke nc, ADVICE on next step (reconnecting)

    I feel ya bro. I'm actually the same; I have a severe case of oneitis from round about the same time as you.

    But I'm done with trying to game her. I know that she will never meet anyone that will make her happy like I did but she doesn't seem to get it because of her new BF so I have backed right off. I know she likes me but I'm not a back-up plan so I am leaving them to it. It will run its course and whether she gets back in touch is not important because I am becoming the man I always wanted to be.

    It's her loss bro, just like your situation.

    I respect you for what you have done; most guys would have called it quits a long time ago. Keep doing what you know will work for you but all I'm saying is that there has to come a time when you walk away with dignity.

    Best of luck to you bro and no matter what happens, this has been an invaluable experience for you.

    Love and Light.

  10. #50
    HardRock is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Broke nc, ADVICE on next step (reconnecting)

    you want to freeze her out for five days.call her.invite her to your place.be sure to give a non sexual reason.the best way to do this is to meet around your area and land inside your house.


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