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Thread: What to do now - how do I get her back?

  1. #11
    baltazar is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: What to do now - how do I get her back?

    If i did knew this few months ago i might keep my ex, but i was needy, stalking and calling her every five minutes. And that push her forever from me. Just don't be there for her, and she will think about you

  2. #12
    BlazerFan is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: What to do now - how do I get her back?

    She just asked me if I figured out when I am moving back to portland yet. (I moved down here in February for her) I think not replying is a bad play. But what should I say? I need a quick reply here... I can't say "I don't know" thats one thing I'm working o is my indecisiveness. She hated when I said "I don't know"
    Last edited by BlazerFan; 10-13-2012 at 05:22 PM. Reason: missing information

  3. #13
    BlazerFan is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Exclamation Re: What to do now - how do I get her back?

    I feel like saying why do you care? But I don't want to start a fight... The goal is to get her back. Any help??

  4. #14
    Shortman is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: What to do now - how do I get her back?

    You don't have to reply today or right away, give it a day or so then text her back. Are you moving back for sure?

  5. #15
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    flyer1 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: What to do now - how do I get her back?

    You are playing right into her hands because you have not contacted her, and for you to get emotional over her again which gives her power. You said you were indecisive well this is a time to make a decision in not contacting her for awhile. Follow through on the nc decision, and you will feel better for it because the payoff will be tremendous. Contacting her in anyway just prolongs you two of getting back together because she will see you as a beta and not an alpha man. I know it's hard to go nc because we have the temptation to try anything that will give us overnight success yet the truth is there is no magical pill that will help us to change another person feelings toward us instantly. All the best to you!

  6. #16
    BlazerFan is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: What to do now - how do I get her back?

    Thanks for the advice. I didn't contact her back and I'm not going to. She doesn't need to know when or if unmoving back.

  7. #17
    BlazerFan is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: What to do now - how do I get her back?

    UPDATE: She emailed me and here it is

    I hope things are going well for you and I'm glad you found a reason to stay. I'm sorry I had to be so abrupt about things but I don't handle stress well, as you already know.
    I'm sad things didn't work out for us, but I am glad our paths crossed for a short while.

    I'll remember you fondly,


    Theres so many things I want to reply back with. But I know not to. Is there anything I SHOULD say? Whats interesting is I have pretty much my first date tonight with someone else.

  8. #18
    Shortman is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: What to do now - how do I get her back?

    Egh this one sucks. I got that exact email from my ex when we broke up, then a few days later she emailed me saying "i dont think this is forever, I love you too much, etc. etc" but its been almost 3 months now since we broke up. I'll let someone else like Batman chime in here see what he thinks, if I were to do it over again, it would be NC at all, no reply, nothing... just wait 4 weeks before even thinking of saying hi.

  9. #19
    BlazerFan is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: What to do now - how do I get her back?

    I understand, I get it.

    Earlier I said short emails about bills and such shouldn't count against no contact. I mean I can see how someone might email TOO much about a stupid 20 dollar garbage bill but I thought I was OK for sending a few minor emails resolving bills and such. For me it was and I didn't think it was affecting me.

    That being said, I saw her today. I owed money for the cable from before it transferred to my name. She preferred cash and I left it in a spot in front where I had left the money for her once before. I was home when she came. Although I wasn't waiting by the front peaking thru thru the blinds I was aware that she was coming.

    I noticed when she closed the gate and I heard it. I ran to the back room to grab a dress she said she wanted weeks ago (before no contact). I opened the front door. She turned around so fast it almost seemed likes he turned before I opened. She was across the street to her car already. "Do you want your dress" i said. "No, its OK" she said. I closed the door.

    The smallest exchange can leave a HUGE IMPACT on ANYONE if you are not ready. I wanted everyone here on this specific thread to know that. I'be been fine, lifting, dating, socializing... the whole thing. But that one glimpse of her left me so farked up you have no idea. Instantly I felt the longing to feel her. I wanted it all. I sat down with my head in my hands like the day she walked out. Luckily I didn't reply and just closed the door. But i feel like I am back at square one.

    If anyone can offer advice i would be so thankful. Is this normal? Does this mean I really DO love her and not just the IDEA of her? If so how does this make any sense? I was a firm believer in NC but now I feel like I am playing a game with MYSELF while she moves on and could even be moving on with someone else. Isn't there a dignified way to express our try feelings without seeming needy, desperate, basically a bitch (as this site makes it seem) I mean nothing malicious with that comment. This forum has really helped me.

    Any feedback (neg and positive) is welcomed.
    Also keep in mind the message she sent me a few days ago.

    Thanks guys

  10. #20
    Shortman is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: What to do now - how do I get her back?

    I understand how hard it is... I was there just a few short months ago. But not contacting her and moving forward is the only way to continue. If she loved you, she would of made the effort, but she didn't, so accept that. YOUR NOT TOGETHER :/.

    Your not going to magically "get over" her one day, but each day it gets easier as time goes forward. Listen, your focusing so much on her, that your negating all the great things you have in life, your family, friends, you live in a city with 4 trillion hot girls, your health. She is just a small fraction of your life when you look at the big picture. There will be someone there to fill that void, and do a better job of it. For now, focus on yourself, and good things will come. Think positive!


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