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Thread: Ex dumped me for another guy

  1. #21
    Sterling is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Ex dumped me for another guy

    Easier said than done in a country where you can't fully speak the language lol. But I see your point.

  2. #22
    Amsu13 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Ex dumped me for another guy

    It's always easier said than done When given lemons in life, you make lemonade... Use every opportunity you have to meet someone new, If you are not comfortable this is a great opportunity to learn and reap some benefits, If it's 1 or 2 women in a bar thats opportunity enough... Grocery store, taking a walk.

  3. #23
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    skicat is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Ex dumped me for another guy

    Quote Originally Posted by Sterling View Post
    Recently, my girlfriend of 8 months dumped me for some guy she works with.

    I'm currently studying abroad, and will be graduating next semester when I come back home. Before I left, we discussed the idea of an LDR and she seemed to be cool with it on the condition we leave things open.

    Unfortunately, this turned out to not be the case. About a month after I left, she called me and said she had "fallen out of love" with me and is no longer interested in dating.
    A few of her friends told me she's been farking this guy at work ever since I left the country.

    Sure enough, when I confronted her she admitted to it. Instead of replying, I started NC and a few days later she messaged me, apologizing and asking for forgiveness. But also adding that she still doesn't have romantic feelings for me anymore.

    I still have yet to reply to her, as the break-up is still fresh and I'm sure I would say things I'd regret if I were to reply now. She still wants to be friends, so it's obvious she needs me in her life despite having this new guy around. What do you guys think, should I just keep NC and go out and have some fun?
    on the condition we leave things open.

    Is there some part of that you didn't understand? You probably didn't get it. So let me explain, that's female language. It means...see ya, goodbye! It doen't mean there's something wrong with you, or even her for that matter. You're just not a good match. Life is for learning. Pull yourself up by your boot straps and get back out there. I'll bet that soon you'll meet someone you like way better than her. Good Luck.

  4. #24
    Amsu13 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Ex dumped me for another guy

    Let's say your on-line you have google translate to bridge the language gap.. The women will appreciate the effort, Plus our bodies and spirit speak a universal language...

  5. #25
    Sterling is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Ex dumped me for another guy

    Landed a date for next weekend with a girl here who speaks perfect English, pretty stoked. Pretty sure this one will go more smoothly lol.

    Anyway, the ex contacted me the other day. I waited until last night to respond, and I let her know I was over what had happened and forgave her. She said she still wants us to talk sometimes until I get back, and said she "loves and cares" about me...but also said I am her "best friend".

    I don't really believe in the friend zone, so I still think if I want to turn this around sometime after I come home, I can. But I'm not even going to consider it unless she's matured emotionally. After evaluating our relationship during the NC period, one thing I'm certain about is that she doesn't know what she really wants. She's young, naieve, and obviously wants to experiment with other men, so I'm going to let her while I do the same with other women. Maybe she'll grow up a bit while I'm away, who knows?

    I already know how to approach the situation when I get back. It's simply a matter of spacing out meaningful contact, and starting the attraction process over. That said, if anyone has any other suggestions on what to do in the meantime, I'm certainly open.
    Last edited by Sterling; 11-01-2012 at 08:45 AM. Reason: typo

  6. #26
    Amsu13 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Ex dumped me for another guy

    Good Deal with the ex... Next thing is do what you said experience women this will give you a better understanding of them and of yourself of what you do and don't want....

    I have to take it you didn't try the google translate yet? Well keep it up and live life.

  7. #27
    baltazar is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Ex dumped me for another guy

    Friends? Thats not possible, being friends with someone you love and some random dude fark her! cmon, respect yourself, don't allow her to be her support. My ex cheated me, broke up with me and engage to another man. Sounds bad? yes, but i think it's good thing for me, cause i don't need person like she is to spend my life together. Martial arts will help you not thinking about her. Remove her from you FB friends, remove every picture you have, cause every time you see it you will feel pain and your emotion will go to surface! Go out and find another girl, just need time to recover yourself ...

  8. #28
    Sterling is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Ex dumped me for another guy

    Who said anything about 'support'? I'm not going to support her for sh1t, she has a guy for that now. I'm talking about keeping her clued in my life, letting her see that I'm moving on...that way when I get back, she'll be the one chasing, not me. As for everything else, she's already removed and I've taken care to untag myself in all our photos.

    And Amsu, unfortunately Google translate is terrible with Asian languages, I'm much more efficient in the language without it. But will do, really excited for the date. This girl is smoking hot, same age as me, and not looking for anything serious...basically a jackpot for people in my situation.

  9. #29
    Sterling is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Ex dumped me for another guy

    So my ex started officially dating the other guy recently, and I decided to go ahead and contact her first this time. I made no mention of the guy, until she brought up they were together. I made a comment that it seemed a little fast to be moving into a new committed relationship, and she FLIPPED HER SH1T. Started insulting me, blaming me for her friends not speaking to her, saying I was guilt-tripping her (I wasn't), and told me not to message her.

    Despite this, I simply replied that I refused to argue with her, and wished her and her new man the best. Not about to fight a battle I can't win, especially with someone who's so clearly emotionally immature and naieve.

    I'm honestly starting to worry that her mental capacities are failing her. This is not the cool, collected girl I knew a couple months ago, or even the one she was a week ago. I think the stress from her car accident may partly have something to do with it, but I also think she's really starting to feel what life without me is like and it's getting to her. So she's lashing out, trying to put the blame on someone else, when in reality it was entirely her fault things ended so badly.

    I'm definitely going to let this go cold until I'm back home now, she won't hear a peep from me. However if anyone has any interesting thoughts on the situation, I'd love to hear them.

  10. #30
    jackerson is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Ex dumped me for another guy

    oh wow, thats girls for you. Using their ex as a tool for their transition and when you expose them, they flip out on ya


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