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  1. #1
    Rschmitz1985 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default How do I properly implement this freeze out?

    I met this HB 8 at work, and we hit it off right away. We dated and I was able to get her into bed within a couple of weeks. Immediately after however, I start getting the flack, about how I'm too old for her parents to approve, and how she still has feelings for her ex, and how shes scared...blah blah blah.

    So I told her its cool...I cut her off...and, she blows up my phone. I bring things back to close to where they were...and the flack comes back, so I cut her off again...and the same thing. She'll call me crying and saying that she misses me, but then distances herself. I froze her out for a week, she ran back, but gives me resistance into going into sexual Kino.

    I'm not really sure how to approach this. She says she wants a relationship but says it won't work because of the complications. I've reciprocated the feelings...but told her I didn't want to be friends because how we both felt, and that she should stop contacting me if things beyond our control were preventing us from being together.

    I never initiate texts, but I know I've made a few mistakes, I've inserted logic to try and explain why we could be together, and she knows I like her. At this point she sends me texts, I'll respond an hour later with a few words, and that is it.

    What do I do here? I refuse to get trapped in friend zone hell. Is there a way to reframe this?

    tldr: How do I reframe this girl who runs back to me but won't allow me to escalate things into more than kissing/holding?

    Thanks for any help

  2. #2
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    BatMan is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: How do I properly implement this freeze out?

    I'm not entirely sure what it is that you want. Is it to continue a casual sexual relationship? Or an LTR?

    She obviously is too confused about what she wants to be in an LTR. If you are serious though about an LTR then BE serious and stop bailing on her just because she gets "drama queen" on you. I've done this with my current LTR. She gets nervous and upset, then says she thinks we shouldn't be together. I roll my eyes and tell her I'll talk to her later (which is usually the next day). When I talk to her she apologizes and we get back on track. Is it annoying? Yes. Does she see me as a man who is strong and knows what he wants? Yes. Does she see me as reliable and not leave her over something small? Yes. Not once has she seen me as weak because of this. Why? Because she does it when she is in an emotional state rather than sit me down and actually explain why we shouldn't be together. That's how I know that it is a shit test. If I kissed ass and begged her not to leave then that would be different. I would fail the shit test. I simply brush it off like she is being dramatic (which she admits later that she was). That's how you pass this type of shit test. I find it interesting how some people feel they are too proud to stay with someone and others feel they are too proud to walk away and give up.

    So if you want a serious LTR then stop letting her go so easily. At this point EVERYONE does that, so it would be different to actually stay in it. Does it look needy? Hell no! Like I said, it's different if you were to kiss her ass.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  3. #3
    liukang75 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: How do I properly implement this freeze out?

    If you want a relationship with her then I would continue to let her run back to you and just be a little more laid back about the whole situation. I realize you want more but you can't force it to happen and giving her ultimatums will only push her away. Maybe the ex is a bigger factor then you think. It sounds to me that she might not be letting you escalate further because she's still sexually or emotionally involved with her ex-boyfriend. Could be she's getting sex from him but no emotional support so you get the shit end of the deal. Now,as long as your getting some play you're not in the friendzone. How far is she letting you go is the question? If you're not getting any play whatsoever then back to the Freeze-Out and then pop up again like nothings wrong. Push and pull, push and pull.
    “The great mistake is to anticipate the outcome of the engagement; you ought not to be thinking of whether it ends in victory or defeat. Let nature take its course, and your tools will strike at the right moment.” -Bruce Lee

  4. #4
    Rschmitz1985 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: How do I properly implement this freeze out?

    double post................ .................... .....

  5. #5
    Rschmitz1985 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: How do I properly implement this freeze out?

    Thanks for the replies. I hung out with her tonight, we kissed and cuddled and she said I was everything she wanted blah blah blah but no sex.

    I want a LTR, but if I don't get it because of complications, I'd settle for casual sex in the mean time.

    So far I'm still playing it cool. I don't think I've been needy, but she knows I want her. She keeps telling me she is afraid I'll leave her for another girl. But we aren't even really "together".


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