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Thread: Should I send a birthdaycard to long distance ex?

  1. #11
    Phoenix30 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Should I send a birthdaycard to long distance ex?

    I thought I had to seem cheerful, that's why I put the smileys. And I'm 21, not 55.
    But then next time I let them out.

    Here it's 9 in the evening when she texted and she knows that I always have my phone with me, so it wouldn't have been weird if I just sent back the next day?

  2. #12
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    Default Re: Should I send a birthdaycard to long distance ex?

    Huh? 55? Who said that?

    If you wait a day, she would be wondering why you didn't respond immediately. Maybe she would wonder if you would respond at all. A few hours go by. She thinks maybe he doesn't want to talk after all, who knows? She isn't sure. Then she starts to want you to respond
    When you do, she is glad you did

    If you wait it makes her wonder which creates investment in you

    So yes, wait, without a doubt
    Never need praise, sympathy, or approval



  3. #13
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    Default Re: Should I send a birthdaycard to long distance ex?

    alright, thanks! Very much appreciate the response and explanation!

    hopefully she still sends something similar in a week or two and I can use that...
    And if I wait then actually she wonders why I don't send back, she wants me to respond, and when I finally send then she's happy, as you said. But that will help to make her fall in love with me again? Even the slightest bit?


    Still one question about it:
    We're long distance so normally talk on msn. Let's say that in two weeks she texts me in the late afternoon to ask if we can talk on msn a few hours later.
    What do I do?
    - I reply to confirm that we can talk? (immediately? after an hour?)
    - I send that I'm out with friends
    - I send back the next day that I didn't see it (and maybe we can talk that evening?)
    - Still something else?

  4. #14
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    Default Re: Should I send a birthdaycard to long distance ex?

    Option 2 or 3 are ok.

    Wait an hour or the next day. Tell her you were busy and reschedule on your time

    And no promises this will make her fall in love, but it does make you seem higher value which makes you more desireable to her. Some of what I explained in my guide on exes. Good luck
    Never need praise, sympathy, or approval



  5. #15
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    Default Re: Should I send a birthdaycard to long distance ex?

    So even if it's for example on a Monday evening that she sends?

    Promises... I have to say that when I make a promise, then I keep them. Something has to go quite wrong before I don't keep a promise. But if I know her well enough, then I doubt she gives a lot of value to keeping my promises(although I do hope I'm wrong about this), since she's a person that is mostly late at places or even msn.

    Could you maybe give me a link to that guide of yours? all information is welcome.
    I can read it tomorrow.

  6. #16
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    Default Re: Should I send a birthdaycard?

    Quote Originally Posted by The Red Baron View Post
    I wouldn't send her more than a happy birthday text

    The idea of NC is to make her think about you and why you aren't contacting her

    If you keep initiating her, she doesn't have to come to you for attention so she won't
    Make her come to you and she will. Make her miss you a bit.
    Also read this - RB - so you want your ex back


    Click the link in my first post
    Never need praise, sympathy, or approval



  7. #17
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    Default Re: Should I send a birthdaycard?

    my ex sent me a text again this noon, but nothing special in it, just to ask how i am:
    "hey, how are you? Everything is alright with you i hope? I'm good as always i should start learning for my final exam and i applied for master so i won't keep working..." (she does her internship until next week and i
    guess she refused a working offer from the company)

    does this message say something about that she's missing me or something? (I'm working on myself anyway, but the final goal is to get back together, so i'd like to know)
    I guess not really since she says she's good as always, but at our last real talk she said anyway that she needs some time and freedom so i guess it's normal that she feels good now and it'll take a while before she really starts to miss me.

    i'll answer in the evening, but what should i send back? besides that i'm good...
    should i say for example that she shouldn't send unless she wants to talk (on msn since we're around 1500 miles apart)?? if yes, how do i say this in a normal way?

  8. #18
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    Default Re: Should I send a birthdaycard to long distance ex?

    ""should i say for example that she shouldn't send unless she wants to talk (on msn since we're around 1500 miles apart)?? if yes, how do i say this in a normal way?""

    No, she came to you so it's ok to acknowledge her and talk

    Just don't say you miss her, and don't re-initiate

    The way I see it, when she does what you want (comes to you), reward her somewhat, like hey good to hear from you
    But be inconsistent, ie wait a day then "hey glad to hear from you I'm Doing great, having a lot of fun with xxx"
    By responding positively but still being inconsistent you're encouraging her to keep coming to you

    Like training a dog lol

    Don't tell her not to, or give her any ultimatums like you proposed above
    Never need praise, sympathy, or approval



  9. #19
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    Default Re: Should I send a birthdaycard to long distance ex?

    i'm planning to send something like:
    hey, good to hear you're doing good! Actually i haven't felt this good in a long time... i go run, squash, pool, fitness, out with friends. So i'm doing really great!

    it's enough, too much or there should still be something more in it?

    i should for example ask if she got a job offer from the company where she's doing her intership?

  10. #20
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    Default Re: Should I send a birthdaycard to long distance ex?

    It's too much, you're a busy guy, less is better. T mal Is better at texting, but let me roll with this

    "hey glad to hear from you! I'm doing great, been really busy with my friends, playing squash and hitting the gym a lot too. What's new?"

    There, this assumes you wait a day. The day will confuse her, but you show follow up

    Mixed signals, get it?

    Then wait to respond again
    Never need praise, sympathy, or approval




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