Top 10 Stats
Latest Posts Loading... Loading...
Loading...
Loading...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Loading...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Results 1 to 10 of 10
Like Tree6Likes
  • 1 Post By The Red Baron
  • 3 Post By Cody
  • 1 Post By funkjaw
  • 1 Post By The Red Baron

Thread: Girl left me for another man... sorta. Want her back!

  1. #1
    funkjaw is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 57, Level: 1
    Level completed: 14%, Points required for next Level: 43
    Overall activity: 0%
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Posts
    4
    Points
    57
    Level
    1
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    0

    Default Girl left me for another man... sorta. Want her back!

    First time poster, still learning a lot so bare with me.

    I have been with this girl for 3 years, lived together for 2. She has had flirtatious encounters with guys and has always made an attempt to hide them (harmless or the two that weren't so harmless) because she knows how jealous and upset I get.

    She cheated on me about a year ago (3 week long 1st base and date type relationship with a classmate), but begged for my forgiveness when I caught her up so I did and we continued to be together.

    Fast forward a year, she met up with an ex boyfriend from high school (about 8 years ago) to catch up and discuss his current career as it is the same thing she is trying to do (K-9 handler). Well, the guy during their lunch meetup pulled a "I never stopped loving you and I want nothing more than to just be with you. Call me selfish but I will do anything for you to leave your boyfriend and be with me". I found out about it and she admitted he had since the lunch date been sending her love emails and she has been hiding the messages but not stopping him from sending them, but actually encouraging him because of how intrigued she was.

    So for about a month we were back and fourth on our relationship; she would tell me she loves me and this and that and how she wants to work on us, but behind my back tell the ex that she wants to be with him and how she doesn't want to work on us any longer. Last Friday night I found some nude pics of her that she was intending to send to her ex boyfriend. I snapped and yelled at her and called her a slut and a whore and other names and kicked her out of my house.

    Ok so a few days later I really started missing her and we were talking and she was like I just need some space, but my dumba$$ decided that I could win her back by telling her how much I love her and how wrong this other dude would be and how I am perfect and how hurt I am by her actions and how I will fight for her and yadayada.. .BIG MISTAKE, cuz then she just says "I don't want you guys to fight for me so I am officially choosing him. I now realize I should never have left him 8 years ago." (She cheated on him just like she has done with every boyfriend she has ever had). I got upset and she said she needed to go to bed.

    The next night she video chatted me crying and when I asked whats wrong she said it's cuz the other guy got sent on a dangerous mission in Afghanistan and she is worried about him and she couldn't stop crying all day... and like the tool I am comforted her and told her everything will be alright with him, then went into a spout about how he is a side buster and how he will never love her like me and how I am so hurt. She did not like that and started chewing me out for the things I "didn't do in our relationship" and we just kinda argued about our relationship until she got tired and said she is going to bed.

    So the next morning I decided to call her up and and tell her how I hope she is happy with this guy and how I am no longer an option and to have a nice life. She got all defensive and said "You don't understand, I have made up my mind, I KNOW aren't an option, I am glad you can finally let me go". BUT, then said in a calm voice that I will be interviewed in 2-6 weeks from the police department she is applying to and they will want to know how I feel about her and if she would make a good cop. She said "I know you have seen the best and the worst of me and I know how honest you are... so yeah..." I said no problem I look forward to being honest, and then hung up.

    Later that night I found something in our house that she had been looking for for like a month, so I sent a pic of it to her and said "look what I found", she instantly gmail video chatted me to my phone and when I answered the video chat the first thing she said was "I am surprised you sent me a text I thought you didn't like me anymore." and then made a frownie face at me. Before I could respond she got a phone call and said hold on cuz it was her mom, and while she walked away to talk to her mom I hung up on the video chat and logged off without saying anything. I went and took a shower and when I got back I had a text saying
    Her: "Why did you log off?"
    Me: "I had to take a shower, and I am very tired and I could really use a good nights sleep. Goodnight"
    Her: ":-( oh ok well if you can't sleep I will be up for a while."

    That was 2 nights ago now. I have had NC since, nor has she attempted to contact me.

    I want her back, I just can't live without her for whatever reason. I am dying inside sorta speak. Not to mention losing her to a guy who is down to side bust like that is just a kick in the side. I understand that part of her behavior behind my back for the last 3 years is a result of my beta male behavior towards her, I also know I have it in me to change.

    I have gotten rid of everything that reminds me of her, every picture, every stuffed animal, every email, message, deleted her from all my contacts.. etc. She is coming in 2 days on Sunday to get the rest of her stuff, she told me during our "Have a nice life convo" we had 2 days ago, and that she will contact me before she comes. I was just gonna make sure her stuff is easy to get out so I won't have to be there when she comes.

    The other man is a marine stationed in Afghanistan currently, and won't be back until sometime in December. He is married (but separated or something like that according to her), and has a 4 year old daughter that stays at home with his mom. (Wife or "ex" wife is partying somewhere with no concern for her daughter apparently).

    It's funny cuz even though I broke up with her, she turned it around into her leaving me for another man. All I know is I want her back, and will do anything to have her back.

    The good news is the other man is gone for more than a month, the bad news is I know she is constantly thinking about him, and while I know she may miss me a tiny bit, she misses this guy a million times more, and even refers to him as "her soldier" on facebook.

    So far 2 days of NC, I am going out and having fun, I have even flirted with a female friend on facebook and she admitted she has always liked me but couldn't be with me cuz I was with my ex (she has a bf now and I don't sidebust). I am hitting the gym everyday, and woman hating with my bros at work and out of work.

    What's my next step? Any advise on how to get her back? Any thoughts, opinions? Thanks!

  2. #2
    The Red Baron's Avatar
    The Red Baron is offline PUA All Star
    Points: 16,918, Level: 83
    Level completed: 14%, Points required for next Level: 432
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    Social10000 Experience Points31 days registered
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Location
    Minneapolis
    Posts
    995
    Points
    16,918
    Level
    83
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts
    Rep Power
    734

    Default Re: Girl left me for another man... sorta. Want her back!

    Never need praise, sympathy, or approval



  3. #3
    Cody's Avatar
    Cody is offline PUA All Star (RETIRED)
    Points: 23,461, Level: 94
    Level completed: 12%, Points required for next Level: 889
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    Social10000 Experience Points31 days registered
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Location
    CF, IA
    Posts
    1,097
    Points
    23,461
    Level
    94
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 6 Times in 4 Posts
    Rep Power
    994

    Default Re: Girl left me for another man... sorta. Want her back!

    I want her back, I just can't live without her for whatever reason. I am dying inside so to speak.

    ...

    Let me paint a picture for you.

    You dated a girl who cheated on you on multiple occasions. She left you for a married man who has a daughter.

    It's a picture that hurts to look at, and it would be laughable if it weren't for the fact that it's real. You've just been handed a fresh start. Take it.

    Oh, and take all of her sh*t, put it in a box, and leave it outside the front door. Right now.
    Wondering where I am now? Check out my latest project:


  4. #4
    funkjaw is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 57, Level: 1
    Level completed: 14%, Points required for next Level: 43
    Overall activity: 0%
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Posts
    4
    Points
    57
    Level
    1
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    0

    Default Re: Girl left me for another man... sorta. Want her back!

    Quote Originally Posted by Cody View Post
    I want her back, I just can't live without her for whatever reason. I am dying inside so to speak.

    ...

    Let me paint a picture for you.

    You dated a girl who cheated on you on multiple occasions. She left you for a married man who has a daughter.

    It's a picture that hurts to look at, and it would be laughable if it weren't for the fact that it's real. You've just been handed a fresh start. Take it.

    Oh, and take all of her sh*t, put it in a box, and leave it outside the front door. Right now.
    I guess it's the whole fact that I "lost" to this side buster that has me all bummed out about it and stuck on her...

    Thanks though, you have a good point. She did nothing but treat me like crap and I still end up the one trying to fight for her... it should have been the other way around.

    While I still know I want her back in my life... you have put a good perspective on the matter. We'll see how I feel in 3-4 weeks of NC and partying it up, hitting on girls, and riding my new motorcycle.

  5. #5
    Cody's Avatar
    Cody is offline PUA All Star (RETIRED)
    Points: 23,461, Level: 94
    Level completed: 12%, Points required for next Level: 889
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    Social10000 Experience Points31 days registered
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Location
    CF, IA
    Posts
    1,097
    Points
    23,461
    Level
    94
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 6 Times in 4 Posts
    Rep Power
    994

    Default Re: Girl left me for another man... sorta. Want her back!

    You seem to have a healthy grasp on the situation for the most part, much better than most of the guys who post in this particular forum. The only thing I'd add is that you didn't lose to anyone, you were just playing on a level lower than you should even associate yourself with. You were slapped by a lesser man and a lesser woman, and a lesser man would consider it a "loss." But you are not a lesser man. You are greater, so you take the hit and walk away, because you have better things to do than waste your time dealing with trash.
    Wondering where I am now? Check out my latest project:


  6. #6
    funkjaw is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 57, Level: 1
    Level completed: 14%, Points required for next Level: 43
    Overall activity: 0%
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Posts
    4
    Points
    57
    Level
    1
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    0

    Default Re: Girl left me for another man... sorta. Want her back!

    Update:

    Around noon today I was at the track jogging a few miles and exorcizing. She calls me and says she is 1 exit away from my house and wanted to know if I wanted to get lunch and it would be her treat. Seeing how I just finished up working out and was about to get lunch myself I said sure. I have no idea why she was "1 exit away" seeing how she now lives with her mom and that is a good 30 mins out... nor do I know how she knew I would be up for lunch or even in the area.

    Anyways so before I go to meet her I look in the mirror of my car and said a couple dozen affirmations about letting go of her. It seemed to do the trick cuz the entire time at lunch I was cool, calm, and collective. We laughed the whole time and had a lot of fun. Every time she would attempt to bring up something on the negative note I immediately would change the subject. I got a text from a friend and she immediatly asked who it was, I said "A friend". She then said "I bet it is your friends telling you to not be at lunch with me, I bet they all hate me huh?". I didn't even reply I just changed the subject and kept the convo flowing.

    About half way through we were laughing and I said something along the lines of "you were right about this being for the better, but it would be foolish for us to throw away our friendship"... she got all mushy and kinda taken aback that I didn't say something like "why did you have to cheat on me! Why?" The rest of the time she was "Meowing" at me, and calling me "Mr. Mackles", and fluttering her eyes at me... stuff she did frequently when we were together. I paid little attention to it.

    She also started saying stuff like "I haven't been sleeping well", and "I was bummed out this weekend cuz I should have been at a halloween party". (I went to an awesome party and flirted with and touched every girl that was there). Again, I paid no attention to her wanting a shoulder to cry on, I just changed the subject and kept the laughter going.

    I ended the lunch by saying "I have some stuff to do so I have to get going, but this has been really fun". We walked out and she said "there is my car", and kinda stood there fluttering her eyes at me smiling and I said "ok cool, thanks again for lunch I'll see or talk to you later, bye"; then left without hugging her.

    Not sure if I should have hugged her or not but I felt it was appropriate not too (even though she looked like she was expecting it). I'd be lying if I said I didn't think she was looking fine as hell, or when she did her cute things it didn't melt my heart a little. But I did all I could to not fall into her again.

    Do I still want her back somewhat? Yes.. is it as much as it was 5 days ago since the start of NC? Nope

    Saying I do still want her back, I guess I really need to know is if I should continue NC and let her initiate a meet up, (this time over some drinks at night), or do I take it to a "platonic" level and start contacting her here and there.

  7. #7
    jackcade is offline PUA in Training
    Points: 192, Level: 3
    Level completed: 84%, Points required for next Level: 8
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    100 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Posts
    36
    Points
    192
    Level
    3
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    15

    Default Re: Girl left me for another man... sorta. Want her back!

    Man, dump her ass. You deserve better. Sorry to be blunt, seriously, but I just read your whole soliloquoy and I just feel sorry for you man. Leave her at the curb and never look back.

  8. #8
    funkjaw is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 57, Level: 1
    Level completed: 14%, Points required for next Level: 43
    Overall activity: 0%
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Posts
    4
    Points
    57
    Level
    1
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    0

    Default Re: Girl left me for another man... sorta. Want her back!

    Quote Originally Posted by jackcade View Post
    Man, dump her ass. You deserve better. Sorry to be blunt, seriously, but I just read your whole soliloquoy and I just feel sorry for you man. Leave her at the curb and never look back.
    Yeah no doubt. Thanks for putting it like that.

    I just got a message from her on facebook 2 mins ago.

    "Hey... sorry to randomly ask you to lunch today. I genuinely wanted to thank you for helping me pass the physical test. I'm sorry if it seemed weird. It was nice to talk to someone instead of just sitting alone at my mom's. I will get my things asap, even if it means hauling it around in my tiny car. You have been way to nice to me by allowing me to have lunch with you and by not just setting my things ablaze. Let me reiterate that nice guys don't always finish last. I know you'll find someone new who is better than I. i was surprised to hear you were at the track, I was on my way there if you were not available. If you are regularly going to be at the track, I would rather not take chances on running into you (get it "running"?! har har). I am weak willed and should not have met up with you today. Again, I appreciate your kindness. Enjoy your life, have fun with your friends, and no worries, my things will be gone soon enough."

    Not sure what to make of it... but yeah. I am just gonna NC. Get my life back and move forward.

  9. #9
    Cody's Avatar
    Cody is offline PUA All Star (RETIRED)
    Points: 23,461, Level: 94
    Level completed: 12%, Points required for next Level: 889
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    Social10000 Experience Points31 days registered
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Location
    CF, IA
    Posts
    1,097
    Points
    23,461
    Level
    94
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 6 Times in 4 Posts
    Rep Power
    994

    Default Re: Girl left me for another man... sorta. Want her back!

    Praise the Lord! He saw the light!
    Wondering where I am now? Check out my latest project:


  10. #10
    The Red Baron's Avatar
    The Red Baron is offline PUA All Star
    Points: 16,918, Level: 83
    Level completed: 14%, Points required for next Level: 432
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    Social10000 Experience Points31 days registered
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Location
    Minneapolis
    Posts
    995
    Points
    16,918
    Level
    83
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts
    Rep Power
    734

    Default Re: Girl left me for another man... sorta. Want her back!

    Honestly I think you're doing good. You held the frame in your meeting, nice work, and you have a clear head about where this is going

    The beauty of it is that if you're not chasing her, she'll wonder why. The more confident and the less you care the more she will try for you

    I've been there too many times and wanted closure and chatted with a girl like dinner, etc- and I didn't even handle it as well as you did with your dinner

    Anyway, maintain the frame and learn about how dumb girls are through this as you watch her now try toget you back
    Never need praise, sympathy, or approval




Similar Threads

  1. left girl at bar, she doesn't text back
    By bigmac in forum Online And Text Game
    Replies: 1
    Last Thread: 10-12-2012, 12:17 PM
  2. Replies: 1
    Last Thread: 02-24-2012, 10:19 PM
  3. why kim kardashian left kris humpres (give him advice to get her back)
    By bullethead in forum How To Get Your Ex Back
    Replies: 1
    Last Thread: 11-22-2011, 07:35 PM
  4. Left as an AFC, coming back as the MAN.
    By Putaneska in forum General Questions
    Replies: 0
    Last Thread: 05-13-2011, 12:33 AM
  5. ex girlfriend who i left wants me back
    By rjbraxton in forum Approaching, Running Sets & Building Attraction
    Replies: 0
    Last Thread: 12-19-2010, 10:47 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
DMCA.com