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Thread: steps after nc

  1. #1
    Phoenix30 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default steps after nc

    hi,

    I'm in the middle of nc now, but I want to be as prepared as possible for when she contacts me again. (or for when I contact her first if it takes too long)
    I understand nc is about yourself, but still I want to be prepared.

    So what are the steps that have to be taken once the nc is over?
    I'll have to talk to her, make her fall in love with me again, be the guy who she fell in love with,...

    But there have to be certain techniques besides all this that help to make her fall in love with me again.

    So what are these techniques?

    I hope you understand what I'd like to know and you can help me :-)

    one detail: it's a long distance relationship, so if we talk then it's by texting and especially msn...


    thanks!

  2. #2
    Hopeful33's Avatar
    Hopeful33 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: steps after nc

    if you want to have a long distance thing work it will take up a lot of time. the calls the texting the skypeing. either way it is still a girl and she just wants a guy that can understand her and make her smile. dont let anything bother you just be like hey missed you today why arent you here by me again? just little flirty things. she will like that you were thinking about her
    im on a different level

  3. #3
    Phoenix30 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: steps after nc

    after nc I should be the one saying first that I missed her? It's she who broke up with me so I think it's rather normal if I missed her...

    but I meant such techniques like push/pull or something. How do I do such things? What are other such techniques? How to use them?

  4. #4
    Hopeful33's Avatar
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    Default Re: steps after nc

    no no you only say that in a playful way after you two already have talked a few times not right away. im not the best at describing situations lol.
    well my favorite is to not reply to all her messages this will drive her crazy usually in a good way for you. it shows your busy and have a life instead of waiting for her to text you
    im on a different level

  5. #5
    Phoenix30 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: steps after nc

    she isn't much of a texter... I'd call it quite historical if she'd send me a text in the middle of the day to just say something, or ask something not too important.
    But if I can use it, then I might just do that :-)
    Thanks for the tip ;-)

    But you don't happen to know anything about such techniques?

  6. #6
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    Default Re: steps after nc

    eh im not big on those. if your new to it and havent tried them out girls can usually tell your gaming them. if it was a stranger id say try some because it wouldnt matter. if you know this girl you dont want to mess up the technique
    im on a different level

  7. #7
    Phoenix30 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: steps after nc

    I really don't want to mess up anything... but I would like to know what kind of questions I could ask her or what I can tell her to make her love me again.
    I realise one or two such things won't do the trick, but I hope at least they'll help.

    and I want to prepare those things and see if and when I could ask/tell them to her

  8. #8
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    Default Re: steps after nc

    I slept over the questions I was asking here and I've come to realise that actually I was asking the completely wrong things...
    I was asking about techniques to get in her mind so actually she'd take me back, but this would probably only be on the short-term and after she took me back she might reconsider and think she made the wrong choice by taking me back...

    What I actually want is to get her back, but not just for a while. I want her back forever...
    And by playing some mind-games with her isn't the right approach.

    I still mean that I want to be as prepared as possible for when we have contact again, but actually I'd like to know how I can handle it the best way possible.

    What topics should I avoid at the start? On the other hand, what are the best things to talk about at first? Asking how she's been and rather talking about general things?
    What else?

    And after we had a few good conversations:
    Should I get back some good memories that we had together?
    How can I build up to making her love me again?

    And finally, what would be hints that she'd give me that I still have a chance of getting back in a (forever) relationship with her?

    Hope you can help me out big time here :-)

    Edit: Please do remember that it's long distance, so we'd talk on msn. (she doesn't do skype and all because it involves webcam and she doesn't like such things)

  9. #9
    hyp
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    Default Re: steps after nc

    if i may / before we proceed, what was the actual reason why you two broke up?

    **lol i opened this tab and it already got replies (y) good stuff people )

    Hopefull is definitely right, don't reply to all her messages, if you feel guilty about not replying well you can just space them out but keep it random, eg 1hour, 2hours, 1minute,6minutes 20minutes, 5hours I crashed and burned on the weekend with my ex cause i was a pussy and she thanked me for her great night, i didn't reply, today she sent another text trying to remind me of how gooda time we had ages ago camping -- don't lose your frame and she'll be chasing you if she's worth it

    credits to the above go to the man with the good texting guide (sorry i couldn't find your thread ) , and Cody for telling me to stop being a pussy in nice words

  10. #10
    PHILTHY is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: steps after nc

    Never repeat your past. Talking about old memories for me kind of kills the buzz of something new. Because it gets the girl thinking back why it was so awesome and then how the relationship fell apart. When I've rekindled relationships I've done both (talked about the past vs. talk about the present and future). When I've brought up the past it's like your talking to a friend (I got friend zoned). When I didn't bring up the past it was more in my favor of hooking up again...I didn't want to get back with her for good.

    If you want to be hers forever you really need to give her time to kiss, bang, or whatever you guys went on a break for. If she really is THE ONE then you either need to move closer to her and step up your game or give her time and space to get whatever she needs out of her system.

    The more and more I read on this site from all of everyone's experiences, including my own, the more I understand why girls come and go. Some of us lose sight of who we are as men. Once we hit the comfort zone with the girl we have nothing really keeping the candle lit. The honeymoon phase ends and that's when the problems start to arise. We become less of a CHALLENGE. She is no longer working to be with us because we've given her all we got. Once that thrill or challenge is over, we've pretty much lost her. Unless you have a big member and she's a nympho.

    Are you naturally a funny guy? How did you pick her up in the first place. You need to be the charming, cocky, funny, witty guy.

    Leave the romantic stuff for when you're actually back with her. Don't talk about getting back together until she mentions it. Act like this isn't phasing you, that her NC is for her, not for you. Let her initiate the texting. Occupy yourself.


    You won't win her overnight. It's gonna be work. BECOME A CHALLENGE


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