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Thread: Dumped without warning. How can I get her back?

  1. #1
    Zachinator is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Dumped without warning. How can I get her back?

    So, I'm new to this whole PUA thing and a friend recommended I register here to get some advice with my problem.

    The backstory:

    My girlfriend and I were due to go to the cinema 2 weeks ago on a tuesday. Out of the blue she cancels on me and I flip out on her (this all takes place via text).

    She ignores me until around tuesday I get fed up and start sending her messages to get her attention. She says we should meet to talk.

    So now it's last Friday. We meet up, have a meal, talk about the issue and decide it was a communication error. I stay over at hers that night.

    Saturday we are due to go out for my birthday. We spend the day lounging and get ready to go out in the evening together.

    When we get out, everything changes, she instantly latches onto a mutual friend (we'll call him Steven).

    Steven is a total loser and she has no sexual interest in him whatsoever, he wants to fuck her bad but never will, that's a widely accepted fact in our social circle.

    I'm pretty wasted by the time we get to the club and she;s still ignoring me. Some of our friends talk to her about the way she's acting but she ignores it and stays with Steven. One of our friends blows up on her over this but she doesn't do anything.

    We all pile back into the taxi home and I'm informed I won't be staying at hers. All my valuables (including my house keys and medication) are at hers, so I argue. I refuse to go home and ask her what the issue is but she won't talk to me.

    I go back to hers and we share the bed, but she won't touch me.

    The next day when I wake up she barely says 2 words to me, barring some awkward small talk around her family.

    She drops me home at my place and refuses my goodbye kiss, we argue forabout 5 mins about what is the problem, she still won't tell me.

    So now today, I log into my Facebook account and scroll down to the news feed to see she has marked herself as single.

    We hadn't spoken since Sunday, but I didn't assume things were so bad.

    What can I do to get her back?

  2. #2
    The Red Baron's Avatar
    The Red Baron is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Dumped without warning. How can I get her back?

    She left because you were, as we call, "beta" (read - the opposite of alpha)

    You were needy, you demonstrated really low value

    Read this
    RB - so you want your ex back

    Then read "the game" by Strauss (trust me it will make it all clear)
    Never need praise, sympathy, or approval



  3. #3
    Zachinator is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Dumped without warning. How can I get her back?

    I rea your post. Can you clarify which parts of my behaviour were needy? At no point did I take her crap.

    How should I go about getting her back? I told her she was a coward for not being able to dump me in person. She ignored that message.

  4. #4
    The Red Baron's Avatar
    The Red Baron is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Dumped without warning. How can I get her back?

    1 - you flipped out on her canceling
    Higher value male would be unaffected
    2- " She ignores me until around tuesday I get fed up and start sending her messages to get her attention."
    You're attention seeking = beta, needy. Alpha is stronger. If it was your frame you would have better things to do meanwhile
    3 - you argued because she refused a kiss

    That's just a start, I'm not dissecting the whole post

    You came here for advice, so trust me on this. Everything you did was low value and you don't have a clue why.

    If you want her back, you need to understand why it was low value. There are no magic words to get her back.

    Read the game and it will make sense. Trust me it's worth every second of your time, actually worth a shit ton more than that

    Best of luck to a new AFC
    Never need praise, sympathy, or approval



  5. #5
    meteora's Avatar
    meteora is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Dumped without warning. How can I get her back?

    i think your problem was that you lost your cool, you allowed your emotions to affect your judgement, and now you have to pay for it, she's not going to want you back until you can move on and live life without her

  6. #6
    T-Mal's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dumped without warning. How can I get her back?

    Being needy has nothing to do with "taking her crap". "Needy" is when you continuously bombard her with texts, calls, emails.. etc. & express that you can't handle her being out of your sight.

    Being confrontational is also "beta" behaviour. (Calling her a coward, instigating arguments, flipping out when she changes plans...*which is also "needy") etc..

    Your best bet at this point is to lay low & not communicate with her for a while. Don't "stalk" her facebook page, don't text or call.... Just let it go.

    THEN, start working on the things in your own life that could use improvement.
    Become the best version of "YOU" that you can possibly be.

    That's what she'll eventually find attractive again, & give you an opportunity to "get her back".



    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Dumped without warning. How can I get her back?

    I'll dissect it for you:

    Out of the blue she cancels on me and I flip out on her (this all takes place via text).

    1. You flip out on her.
    2. You do it over text.


    She ignores me until around tuesday I get fed up and start sending her messages to get her attention.

    3. You send her messageS to get her attention.


    I stay over at hers that night.

    4. Are you her little b*tch?


    I'm pretty wasted.

    5. Classy.


    So I argue.

    6. Don't argue with women.


    I refuse to go home.

    7. ...


    We argue forabout 5 mins about what is the problem, she still won't tell me.

    I'll tell you in a minute.


    What can I do to get her back?

    You need to do a lot. Forget getting her back. You just...

    I don't know. I'm sorry if that was harsh, but I really don't know where to start. If all you want is your girlfriend back...but you won't get her back. If you want to become a PUA, we can help you with that. That's for damn sure. Just let us know.
    Wondering where I am now? Check out my latest project:


  8. #8
    dgmortal is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Dumped without warning. How can I get her back?

    I agree with above posts about your mistakes but they can be summed up into one mistake:
    Don't React Emotionally to Woman.

    BTW forget about getting her back! get some better ones instead
    Be prepared for a challenge it's a long and tough road but with a well worthy reward!
    If it frightens you, Do It!

  9. #9
    T_Dalsh is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Dumped without warning. How can I get her back?

    Yeah man...

    First thing I thought, from personal experience, is you reckon you won't find anyone as 'amazing' - or whatever word you would like to describe this 'one of a kind' woman you are with. Like i said, that's the feeling i got from the way you just wrote, obviously not knowing you means i could be wrong... But i doubt it.

    Now like everyone else has advised reading the game will be a great start. It's not going to magically turn you into someone she wants. BUT it will give you a new perspective on life... Yeah that's a bold statement seeing life is quite a big thing, but i'm kinda sure everyone can back me up on that statement.

    From there you will hopefully realise how much opportunity is 'out there' and start focusing energy on moving forward instead of fixing what is effed. The funny thing is once you realise how much more is out there and all other possibilities if she bumps into you or sees you [B]LIVING [B]and enjoying your life she will want you back... And you'll probably tell her to jog on...

    Good luck. You have a lot of guys on these forums that know things and a lot of material at your disposal. Make sure you don't believe everyone and everything though, coz there are TONS of clowns here :-) No offence to anyone, although if you take offence......... hahaha!!

    Sweet!
    PEACE!

  10. #10
    T_Dalsh is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Dumped without warning. How can I get her back?

    Ahhh... I just read Red Barron's link and it is kinda what i said... HAHAHAHA! OOPS

    I'm out!
    Peace!


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