Top 10 Stats
Latest Posts Loading... Loading...
Loading...
Loading...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Loading...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Results 1 to 5 of 5
  1. #1
    aggawam is offline PUA in Training
    Points: 101, Level: 2
    Level completed: 2%, Points required for next Level: 49
    Overall activity: 27.5%
    Achievements:
    100 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Posts
    38
    Points
    101
    Level
    2
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    11

    Post Post to help me keep up with my plan...

    Hi everyone.

    I'm posting here just to help myself on getting her back, and sticking to a plan, which I still don't have.

    Sorry for the long post.... I just have to supply lots of details, as it is a complex situation. You can jump a few paragraphs down for the end of the story.

    Actually she wasn't my girlfriend, we never used that word because we only went out on a few dates during the last two months (restaurant, movies, other stuff together, kissed, make out, but no fclose).

    I'm 27 and she is 26. This was the first girl I really got interested on (LTR kind of girl), in my whole life. I've had very few experiences with girls before (never had a girlfriend, only one night stands), I'm really shy and not the outgoing clubbing kind of guy, so I don't create to many opportunities to meet girls.

    The thing is that we study together since the beggining of the year (law school). So we still have 4 years ahead in the same class and she thinks that this "romantic" relationship could go wrong and mess up our "school" relationship, because we are circled by the same group of people and almost every month do a social meeting (food, poker, games, whatever), and she values that a lot.

    Since the beggining I played it wrong (according to the PUA principles), not being alpha.

    Before we started dating, I let her know that I didn't have any girlfriends before and was inexperienced on serious relationships.

    I told her that because I was really interested in her as a LTR, so I thought I should be transparent in all aspects, as if it was an excuse for any mistakes I could make while with her. Also told her that I'm shy/introvert (but she probably already knew that).

    Besides that I have a few good qualities, I'm good looking, one of the best in class, nice job, car, traveled a lot, it's my second degree (i'm engineer) but I try to be humble about all that stuff, don't use that as a tool to get people to like me.

    Even with those warnings (inexperienced, introvert, shy guy), I invited her out during July vacation, as friends, for a sushi (while she was seeing someone else, if that was truth). We just talked, poor eye contact, poor body language as expected. Luckly no blanks during the conversation. And planned not going for a kiss, I didn't want to push myself, the goal was having a conversation, like friends, and also respecting "the other guy she was seeing".

    So after that we exchanged a few texts, and August came, classes started again. My car was on repair shop, people at school offered me a ride home, and she also offered, but she lives in the opposite direction of the city, I accepted her ride...lol At this moment I realized she was really interested on me. She droped me, and I didn't go for a kiss, and I felt she was expecting that but due to the shynees I failed.

    The next day, I asked her for a ride again (I think here I was being alpha, making her take me home, deviating her route to her house). This night I took the courage and kissed her. We talked more about ourselves, she said she was just getting out of this other relationship, we could try something, but had to take it slow, and not showing like boy/girlfriend while in class.

    From that night on we kept exchanging texts, went out on a few more dates. And being inexperienced, as I predicted, I failed a few times. Like when we went to the movies, she was the first to hold my hand (although, she was holding her popcorn for the first 30 minutes of the movie). And I just kissed her at the end of the movie. The other day she said she was expecting that early.

    I told that I was going to work more on that and be more affectious. But I still failed a few more time, although I felt I was evolving in that area.

    *** START HERE IF YOU DON'T WANT TO READ EVERYTHING ***

    Like our last "date", we went out with a few friends (some didn't know we were together), drinking beer, I pulled her chair closely, put my arms around her, kissed her in public for the first time. The mistake was at the end of the night. Alcohol doesn't make me more outgoing, my shyness is really strong. She was giving a ride to another friend, and I was going to kiss her goodbye, and I went for a kiss on the cheek.

    At the moment she didn't say anything but 5 minutes later she texted me she didn't believe I only kissed her on the cheek. I texted that I was heading to her housing (which I really was, as a surprise), while she was dropping her friend, and wanted to stay with her a little more, that the night wasn't over, that's why I didn't kiss her on the lips. She said things doesn't work that way, it was too late, and asked me to don't meet her at her house. I respected that, we didn't meet.

    But we kept texting, she said our personality doesn't match. We discussed a little more but I never said sorry for anything (trying to apply PUA concepts here), just said I was evolving on the affection thing, doing my best, and that was the only thing I could offer, I tryed to make a joke to ligthen things (huge mistake, she got more angry) and in the end she texted we shouldn't see each other anymore, that it was good I took that with good humor, and it was nice while it lasted.

    At that point I didn't reply anymore (knew she was a little drunk, me too). So I just kept thinking, I knew that a beta would beg, and say I'm sorry, and cry, and ask for a second chance, and do all that weak stuff. I've seen that before and was learning here at the forum.

    I realized that only acting as an alpha I could save that situation and start fresh as an alpha. What would an alpha do??? Don't know for sure. So the next morning I replyed her (translating from portuguese):

    "I've put myself in your place [experienced girl], and understood your decision, that you were looking for someone more mature from the emotional and affectious perspective. It was nice for me too, while it lasted. Just don't want this to end in a subit and inpersonal manner, trough SMS. We should meet for a last time".

    She just replyed: "All right..."

    So the next night we meet, I started with "So you think we don't match". I said I respect her decision (implying that I wouldn't push things). Then she start talking, say sorry for the words she used last night, that she likes me but didn't want to hurt me, because she can loose her patience and be very bitchy about any mistakes I could make in the future. That she thinks it isn't the right moment for us, she want us to still be friends, and still do things together (those social meetings we do with people in our class).

    I only agreed to everything, didn't say sorry or asked for second chance. In the end we kissed one last time, said that I didn't stop liking her, and then left.

    Just one last important detail... during the last weeks I bought a ticket for a Norah Jones concert (December, 15), and it was a surprise, I never said that to her.

    So after our last talk, when I got home, I texted her: "Forgot to say one last thing. Remember I told you I was going to Norah Jones concert at the end of the year? It is going to be on December 15, saturday. It happens that a few weeks ago I also bought you a ticket."

    It was tuesday night (October, 30) when we last talked and I sent that message. She never replyed, and I didn't send her any more messages neither talked to her at school (our class is very big, almost 80 students, and I seat far away from her).

    So here I am.

    *** IF YOU ARE IMPATIENT, JUMP TO THIS PARAGRAPH ***

    She said she doesn't want to hurt me. But I don't care, because while not being with her I'm already hurt. So I'd like to take the chance and try one more time.

    I still like her a lot... want her back but don't know if I have the right plan (didn't read anything about it on the forum yet). My idea is to make no contact at all during the next whole month, live life as if she didn't exist. What's going to help is that I have a lot of school exams coming and also one exam for a begginer law carreer in the government which I'm studying hard, and will be on December, 2.

    My plan is.... after one month (we will be on vacation from school), if she don't contact me, I'll contact her and ask her out for the Norah Jones concert. Which she alredy know about, and if she is interested in me, she won't make any plans for that day, and will accept my re-invitation.

    Meanwhile I will try to improve my inner game and social skills, really hard. Asked my sister to teach me how to dance country music (this girl likes it a lot), I'm training eye contact/smiling everyday with everyone I come across, I'm trying to talk more to people (girl of the library, cafeteria employees, etc), talking louder, among other stuff I realize I may benefit improving.

    So, any insights and tips are welcome to help me get her back.

  2. #2
    T-Mal's Avatar
    T-Mal is offline PUA All Star
    Points: 31,222, Level: 100
    Level completed: 0%, Points required for next Level: 0
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    Social25000 Experience Points31 days registered
    Awards:
    Posting Award
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Location
    Southern Michigan USA
    Posts
    2,558
    Points
    31,222
    Level
    100
    Thanks
    3
    Thanked 9 Times in 8 Posts
    Rep Power
    1391

    Default Re: Post to help me keep up with my plan...

    Here's a great thread on the very subject you're looking for! RB Ex-Back


    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  3. #3
    aggawam is offline PUA in Training
    Points: 101, Level: 2
    Level completed: 2%, Points required for next Level: 49
    Overall activity: 27.5%
    Achievements:
    100 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Posts
    38
    Points
    101
    Level
    2
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    11

    Default Re: Post to help me keep up with my plan...

    Hi T-MAL thanks for the link! Very enlightening. It seens that my plan is actually coherent. Stay away for some time, work inner game, go out, etc.

    I'm really not sure if it is one-itis. Most probably yes, because she is the first girl I pursued thinking in as a LTR.

    I'm very picky, not aesthetically speaking, I would qualify her as HB7 or even 6, she is also very small and I'm very tall. I've been with HB's 8, even 9's. What caught my attention was her attitude, just looking you say she is a nice/traditional girl (she is catholic). After a few beers she can go crazy (make out session in front of her parents house, almost fclose, it was better than many of the times I had sex with other girls). She is very smart and distinguishs from every girl in our class. It's hard to explain, it's her posture. The other guys seens to be afraid of her, she is definitely an alpha.

    Maybe she is not the love of my life, maybe she is only a challenge to me. A challenge that I don't want to think I already lost.

    I could have dumb HB10's all the time if I wanted, there are plenty of then in my school... here in Brazil, with my good looks, money and a car.... just need to work a bit on my social skills.... but that is not who I am.

    Just to add to the plan.... I'll be going to two wedding parties during this month, one of them I'm the best man. Also going to the beach on a holiday with friends. She already knew about those plans, and I didn't invite her for any of them.

    One other thing I forgot to mention.... she texted during our last discussion: "If you only want me for sex, that's fine... but let's do it the right way"

    Don't know what lead her to think like that... maybe the beer... but we didn't drink that much. Or maybe, since the beggining, she only wanted me for sex, which is an very small hyphotesis, I really doubt that, but would be fine if she wanted to be my FWB, because we really connected while kissing making out. Or maybe it was just a shit test.

    That doesn't get out of my head. To that text, I replyed that I wanted her in everyway, never said I only wanted her for sex (which we never had actually).

  4. #4
    aggawam is offline PUA in Training
    Points: 101, Level: 2
    Level completed: 2%, Points required for next Level: 49
    Overall activity: 27.5%
    Achievements:
    100 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Posts
    38
    Points
    101
    Level
    2
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    11

    Default Re: Post to help me keep up with my plan...

    So, it's been 1 week since break up. And it's been easier than I thought. She said I'm too cold, maybe it's truth, and that's why I'm not depressed, or crying or whatever. I'm only thinking too much about it on my free time, when my mind is empty.

    Sometimes I get the feeling of not wanting to get her back anymore, like with a flash of been more powerful with that decision, but than it goes away, I miss we could have tryed harder, we didn't enjoy enough. I see so many couples still together going trough situations much worse than ours, or with one of the participants been a total ass or bitch.

    I've been sticking to my plan so far. No contact at all, just exchanged looks one day while crossing trough her in class so I don't look like I'm influenced by missing her.

    The last few days I've been watching that "Deep Inner Game" (I'm on the 4th DVD on youtube), and it made me realize a few things.

    I see I have a few weak points:

    - Difficulty showing affection
    - Difficulty developing deep and interesting conversations. Like been funnier or making jokes
    - Lack of crazyness, I'm too serious with people I don't know well or when I'm nervous. And drinking doesn't help.
    - I get almost inert when I'm with bigger groups. The less people, the more I speak, the more I am part of the interaction.

    Some mistakes I may have made:

    - "Where my heart upon my sleeve", sending some messages and talking some sh1t that showed too much interest just at the begining.
    - Shared to much of my personality too soon, talking I'm too shy, talking about not hving LTR in the past. Thought that been 100% transparent and honest was the right thing to do on the begining.
    - Should have pointed out some flaws on her, or something that made me angry and by the time I was too tolerant. Tolerance is good to some point, although I need to create some strong borders and let her know what is acceptable and what's not.

    What I've been doing to improve myself:

    - Forcing myself to talk to anybody I have the opportunity to talk. Cashier of the supermarket, asking for information for aleatory people in the campus, whatever.
    - Making eye contact with everyone... girls, man, old people, children, people driving other cars.
    - Smiling more. Learned that the muscles right below the eyes are a big part of a smile. If you smile more with your lips, it looks fake. Try it in a mirror, use more your upper cheek muscles and eyes.
    - Cleaning my room deeply, giving away old stuff, old clothes.
    - Went to this wedding party on saturday.

    What I'm planning to do:

    - Will go to a bachelor party on friday, another wedding party this saturday, and a high school reunion/barbecue of ten years on sunday.
    - The other weekend (holiday) I'll go to the beach with friends.
    - Dancing classes with my sister. She didn't have the time yet but I started practicing by myself a few basic things.
    - Keep studying hard for the exam on the next month so I get that job.

  5. #5
    aggawam is offline PUA in Training
    Points: 101, Level: 2
    Level completed: 2%, Points required for next Level: 49
    Overall activity: 27.5%
    Achievements:
    100 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Posts
    38
    Points
    101
    Level
    2
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    11

    Default Re: Post to help me keep up with my plan...

    Getting trough another week.

    Still sticking to my plan of no contact.... I think it is for good, she is really strong and know what she wants, she is very independent and have loads of friends.

    She also posted on FB the next day after we break up: "They love being single".... she took a picture of a girl's magazine subject with that saying... about girls that like to be single.

    I'll be going to the beach this wednesday night.... and will be back on monday morning. It will be another "easy" week.

    For the first time in my life I'll be seeing a psychologist, this wednesday. Thought it would be a good moment to seek for some more advices, besides those I've found here in the forum and in other sources of the web.


Similar Threads

  1. Help With First Date Logistics Plan
    By mikelb in forum General Questions
    Replies: 3
    Last Thread: 08-31-2012, 02:44 AM
  2. Need some advice. Long post and first post
    By striker12 in forum How To Get Your Ex Back
    Replies: 13
    Last Thread: 06-23-2012, 12:43 PM
  3. FR: having a plan = SUCCESS!
    By morcheeba in forum Field Reports
    Replies: 0
    Last Thread: 08-08-2011, 09:22 PM
  4. Plan of Action?
    By BambooLeaf in forum Online And Text Game
    Replies: 3
    Last Thread: 05-23-2011, 11:02 AM
  5. Help With Texting Plan?
    By TylerD723 in forum Online And Text Game
    Replies: 1
    Last Thread: 03-11-2011, 05:31 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
DMCA.com