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Thread: gf broke up with me, but now says she will date me again

  1. #1
    shouldi is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default gf broke up with me, but now says she will date me again

    So here it is:
    My gf of five years broke up with me, (We are 31) saying that I spend too much time studying and not enough time with her. (Not enough passion, she says) This is an easy fix, but she pulled away.
    We live together, but I cut off all communication with her for 2 days, then she comes to me and says she wants things to be okay. I wasn't very agreeable, but had a conversation with her
    and she said that she will date me again.
    She said that I'm grounded from kissing and sex for 2 months(end date, december 22nd)
    She has started seeing another guy, who is out of town, but will be working 2 hours away for the winter.
    I did initially object to the new guy when talking to her, because she brought him here for a night. They slept on the living room floor with some other friends. When he was here, I acted like I didn't care that he was here (to him) and didn't say anything else about it to her.

    She doesn't have a car, but that doesn't mean that she isn't going to have him pick her up throughout the winter.

    She says that she wants me to be the bigger man, and to prove her wrong about me.
    She is visiting family and friends in 2 other states, until the 14th of this month.

    I'm thinking of going no contact again for at least 2 to 3 weeks after she gets back, as she needs space, and because I don't want her to think that she can have me around whenever, no matter what she does.
    What should I look for to see if she actually gives a $hi* about getting back together.
    (If she does, I know that things will have to happen slowly)

    I really do think that she is worth it, and I did tell her that I understand why she broke up with me(whether that's beneficial or detrimental in this case- I'm not sure)

    Any suggestions?

  2. #2
    Amsu13 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: gf broke up with me, but now says she will date me again

    You THINK she is worth it but you don't KNOW... That's the difference... Very dangerous what is going on there... But you can easily tell because if a woman wants you she will do what needs to be done to keep you happy and it wouldn't be all about her...As you should take care of her too... Look she came up with the suggestion and the demands what if you want this longer or shorter? Will it matter what You want? Those are the things you need to look at... She should be able to show you and tell you why she is with you?

    AND YOU NEED TO GIVE HER THAT PASSION AND STUDY...

  3. #3
    shouldi is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: gf broke up with me, but now says she will date me again

    Well, how do I give her passion if she won't even kiss me for the time being?

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    Default Re: gf broke up with me, but now says she will date me again

    she seems pretty manipulative to me, i would start by deciding weather or not i even wanted her back, she doesn't seem like much of a person to me (she cheats on you and then wants back together just so you guys can still live together/so she can spunge off of you), if you want her back, increase you flirting, Kino escalate without kissing (make her want to kiss you and then with hold the kiss from her) then use the http://www.puaforums.com/how-seduce-...technique.html on her to get rid of this guy she's chaeting on you with, then don't let her controll you with sex, if she doesn't want to put out, punish her by seeing other wemon, i know it may seem a bit harsh but what she did to you was pretty farkin harsh you are just going to return the favore its time for you to man up and stand up for yourself, you deserve to be treated better than that, and if she's going to treat you like sh!t then your going to take a stand and give her the gift of missing you

  5. #5
    meteora's Avatar
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    Angry Re: gf broke up with me, but now says she will date me again

    Quote Originally Posted by shouldi View Post
    Well, how do I give her passion if she won't even kiss me for the time being?
    why should you kiss her if she's treating you like that? the kiss should be a reward for her being good to you

  6. #6
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    Default Re: gf broke up with me, but now says she will date me again

    You have absolutely no power in this relationship. You are her b*tch. The entire thing is not okay.
    Wondering where I am now? Check out my latest project:


  7. #7
    shouldi is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: gf broke up with me, but now says she will date me again

    Hmm, good input everyone. So, it seems the thing to do is just ignore her unless I see her in passing, then maybe just say hey, as if she is just a co-worker.
    If she asks me to watch a movie, or to play a game, I'm thinking it would be best to say that I'm busy.

    She said that we will date again, that's the thing that is throwing me off.
    I'm wondering how to fit in the no contact behavior, all the while, being my self and showing that I am unaffected by what she does or says. Will that just make her think, fine, let's not, then shove off for good?
    Maybe this isn't that complicated, but it seems a little tricky.


    I don't want her to have me come watch a movie in what is now, her room, then try to make a move, and get rejected.

    One mistake I think that I made is that I gave her a great big massage a day before she left on this little vacation.
    She asked me to watch a movie and I did. I gave her a massage, touched her inner thighs and whatnot, but didn't try to kiss her neck or anything like that. Was that unwise?

    Should I just wait until she comes to me with something to say about getting back together?

  8. #8
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    Default Re: gf broke up with me, but now says she will date me again

    Stop acting like a little punk! Tell her to step or get your own place to live. You're acting like it's alright if she brings another dude to the house and flirts with him in front of you. What is going to happen is you will eventually become frustrated and all the agression will come out. A similar situation involved a friend of mine (not girlfriend) who had a live in partner and she invited another guy to a party at her apartment who also liked her, and one thing led to another, and fight broke out between them which landed them in jail for the night.

    This is not a Sh1t Test she is disrespecting you, and you don't have the moxie to stand up for yourself. Cut your losses and move on that is the best thing to do, and stop idolizing her that she is woth it!

  9. #9
    shouldi is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: gf broke up with me, but now says she will date me again

    Cool. So I am no longer in take any crap mode.
    I'll tell her that I'm not moving my stuff back to the other room, and that if she wants to make things work and cut out the douche bag, then cool, otherwise, get out of my face.

  10. #10
    Amsu13 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: gf broke up with me, but now says she will date me again

    It all boils down to what you want... You just need to understand exactly what is taking place, especially if you are heavily contibuting to the bills...

    You can cut your loses and cut the whole thing off period which would shock the shid out of her if someone was to get their own place...

    She doesn't RESPECT you, if she did she would not pull certain things. You HAVE to STAND UP for something cuz right now you aren't standing for anything and she is running over you... So no complaints action needs to be taken.

    USE THE ADVICE GIVEN,I'm in agreement with it cuz I KNOW... You may not wanna go extreme biut you can to make a point And most impotantly standing up for yourself...


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