If you haven't yet, I want you to read all of The All-Stars threads on why you should just get the f*ck over it. Here's the list, and don't continue reading this thread until you're done reading these first:
Mine - So You Think You Want Your Ex Back
Red Baron - So You Want Your Ex Back
T-Mal - Do I REALLY Want Her Back???
Tyrone - How to keep your Ms. in check
Done? Are you lying to me? I swear if you're lying I will hunt you down and f*ck your ex right in front of you. Seriously, go back and read them. You still haven't read them, have you? Ugh...fine, whatever. I shouldn't expect so much out of you. After all you are a chump.
Yes, you are a chump; a p*ssy; a beta b*tch. I'm not saying it to 1-up myself; I'm saying it because you need to hear it, and not only that but you need to admit it too. The first step is acceptance. Here's a bit of evolutionary sexual selection for you: Survival of the fittest and most adaptable to change. You obviously aren't the "fittest" or you wouldn't even be in this situation, and you mustn't be very adaptable because you're still fighting to maintain a previous state of existence. Put bluntly, you were born to die out. Nature does not listen to your appeals.
The original motivation to write this post came from specific scenario--a father wanting the best for his family. After some reflecting I decided to expand this article to getting your ex back in a more general sense, thus making it more applicable to a broader audience.
Now you may be asking, "Why would he do that?" Because I've been around the block enough times to know that most guys don't have what it takes to become a PUA, and that is for the best. Attractive women only exist because others are perceived as less attractive. An abundance of wealth can only exist where there is poverty. Guys like me only exist because there are guys like you.
So this is for you one-stop-shop visitors who want to slap a band-aid on your mediocre lives. I can't possibly solve all of your problems in one brief post, but if you take everything that I have to say to heart...well, you'll stand a fighting chance. If you want to get your ex back AND KEEP HER then you better read and re-read every word. Enough bullsh*t. Let's do this.
Oh, and you're welcome in advance. F*ckers.
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Every reason that you can give me for why your ex left you can be summed up into one sentence: You are not a man. If you were then she wouldn't have left. Women don't leave men; they leave boys, but before we can get to your inner game we need to handle some superficial crap that appeals to her emotions. Because we all know women are emotional.
Step One: Damage Control
You're going no contact. That much is a given. I hope to God that you were nonreactive when sh*t hit the fan, but odds are you probably weren't. Either way you two are done talking except for the few exceptions that I'll say. Hop onto your Facebook and change your relationship status so that it doesn't show. Change your profile picture to one of just yourself. Now this one's important: Do NOT block and/or delete her. In this case you're trying to get her back, not get over her.
Step Two: Bawl Your F*cking Eyes Out
Do it. Take a week to hate your life, because if you don't do it now you'll be sore for a lon time to come. Right now people will be understanding, but if you're still pissing and moaning about it after a few months everyone's going to get sick and tired of you being a little b*tch. Grab a shovel and a few gallons of ice cream. Throw Bambi into the DVD player. Cry about how your father was never there while you're at it. No matter what, get it out of your system, because you'll be taking a few heavy blows in the near future.
Step Three: Become The F*cking Man
You probably have a few or at least a couple close attractive girl friends. If you don't it's not a problem. All you have to do is use an opinion opener about your present situation to find girls willing to help. Women LOVE making new guy friends who aren't trying to get in their pants, which is ideal for your current standings. They also love giving advice/helping guys with their romantic endeavors. Explain to them exactly what it is that you're trying to do in getting yoru ex back (i.e. make her jealous). If they weren't already, these girls are your new best friends. Take them out, play the big brother card, and look after them. Every woman is looking for security, and if things fall through with your ex there's a good chance one of these girls wouldn't mind having you. So hit up the clubs. Take them shopping. It doesn't matter where you go or what you do as long as they're having fun. Take pictures--TONS of pictures--and have the girls upload them to their Facebooks. Have them tag you. Put a picture of you with one or two of the prettiest ones as your profile picture, then you with the rest of them as your cover photo. In essence, blow up your Facebook. If you don't have Facebook, that's fine. Word gets around.
Remember how I said don't delete and/or block her? This is why. She's going to see all of this and get hella jealous. If you have already blocked her, unblock her. If you have already deleted her, don't re-add her. She can still see all that she needs to see, and girls are creeps anyway so she'll get on her friend's Facebook if she needs to in order to see the rest (due to privacy settings).
Girls come in all different kinds. Some will seethe. Others will lash out. Whatever her emotional response may be, you remain nonreactive. For the rest of your life no matter what girl, you remain nonreactive. Do I need to say it again? You remain nonreactive. Tyler Durden calls it the Law of State Transference. Social scientists refer to it as the Communication Accommodation Theory. Here, we most commonly attribute it to frame control.
For now, any time she tries to contact you, you stay no contact. Emails, Facebook messages, texts, phone calls, etc. Delete all of them and ignore. The only time it is acceptable to talk is in person, in which situation you will be nice, polite, and cordial, but the second she starts to make digs at you, walk away. You're busy and don't have time for her sh*t.
Step Four: Become The F*cking Man, part 2
Simultaneously, you need to be working on your inner game and overall well-being. Hit the gym. Eat right. Meditate and learn to love where you're at. The resources on this are numerous and the only real way to develop a strong inner core is to drill it into your brain. Make it an obsession. Here's a mix of things that I've heard are great as well as my own personal recommendations:
Eckhart Tolle - The Power of Now
David Deida - The Way of the Superior Man
Ralph Waldo Emerson - Self-Reliance
James Allen - As a Man Thinketh
David DeAngelo's Deep Inner Game (can be found on youtube)
I would explain this in further detail if it were an explainable topic, but sadly it isn't. The path to knowledge and enlightenment is a personal journey and one that cannot be taught. It is found within one's self. This really is the most important step in getting your ex back but there's no reasonable way of making this section any bigger. Understand how important it is and progress with it as a focal point.
Step Five: Getting Your Ex Back
Now that you've put in all that work you're finally at a place where you're ready to get your ex back (that is, assuming you still want her). The big question is when do you reinitiate contact? Well, everyone heals at a different rate, so though I'm sorry to do this I have to give you a vague answer. The answer is when you are both ready. When you're ready, you'll know, and when she's ready you'll know that too because you most likely know her better than anyone but herself.
Finally, now is the time to break NC. Tell her you were thinking about her the other day and would like to meet and catch up. Keep it light; a walk, coffee, ice cream. Focus on her and how she's doing even though she's going to try with all her might to turn the tables. When you can't hold out anymore, tell her the truth: that your life is great. That you love where you're at and things couldn't be better.
Game her, but on a very light level. Back off on the heavy Kino. Talk to her like an old friend, but do the light game material. Slightly more than usual eye contact. Look at her mouth. Compliment her. Do everything from a place of high value. Say you should meet up again sometime, then actually do it in a few weeks or so. Repeat. By date three she'll probably have already brought it up, and if she has simply say, "I don't want to talk about that right now." When you two discuss it, it will be on your terms. It's not going to take much more than an "I miss you." Her heart will melt, but don't give in. You have to stick to your guns. Things have to change. You call the shots and lay down the groundwork. Everything that happened during your break is in the past. You willl go slow and build a foundation on honesty, trust, and respect. Talk everything out and make sure everything gets said that needs to be said.
Let it be noted; this is why you should learn game. Educating yourself and becoming well versed in the Venusian Arts will make problems like these obsolete.
I hope this helped and I wish the best of luck to you.
Oh, and if I came across as hard it's only because I find happiness in being a d*ck. I mean well.