Hi, everyone. I will do a small introduction followed by my story, since this is my first post on the forum.
I am a student who's studying in London right now. I have been interested in the dating game for over a year now, but only since this August have I seriously started to educate myself and get into to it more. For the past few months I have been extensively reading and researching PUA articles, forum posts, other relationship and dating articles as well as reading books like Love Systems, Magic Bullets and bits of some other books. I have also been watching videos and full seminars of top PUAs, covering different topics ranging from the simple n-closing to full relationship topics. I have taken advice from close friends who have been in the dating game longer than me and who can be considered actual PUAs. I have also practiced in the field with the given material, but all-in-all I am still very new to the game.
I have this problem which I need help on, I want to go ahead and share my story.
I have been talking to this girl since summer, but only since the 1st of September we have gotten into an "official" relationship. Quick note about her: HB8 (HB9 naked), we have a lot of things in common, share a lot of interests, she laughs at my jokes which I find stupid, we did a lot of naughty things together, some of which are crazy and kinky and I would not do with other girls, but since she is incredibly attractive to me, I do all those things... and I do love her.
All was going great with her and I was extremely happy (after having a rather depressing summer). During all this time I have not broken up with her once (despite some arguments and faults that I saw in her), but she has broken up with me multiple times. 3 times in total, the 3rd time happened this Wednesday (3 days ago). The first two break-ups were her telling me to LJBF.
The first time it happened I went full on AFC. The reason for that was because it happened on the next day before which things were going really well. We spent two days in a row together (Saturday and Sunday), went to restaurants and other places which I don't remember, all I know is that we had great fun. During the next day I went onto her Facebook and she wrote a status "Feeling in a heartbreaking mood" or some crap like that. I didn't get it since I thought things were going so well. I called her and asked her if everything was alright, obviously she said everything was fine. I didn't know what to do so I said, "Okay, enjoy the time with your friends and have a good day". It was very stupid of me because I felt in her voice that obviously something was wrong. Later during the evening she sent me a text saying to LJBF. I went full AFC and started calling her and texting her many messages but was ignored. After a few more texts, she sent me a text saying that she couldn't be with me because of not knowing how to wash the dishes and another reason so minor I forgot it. Also a very import bit is that her roommate doesn't like me and told her that I'm not good for her (she gets influenced by her friends easily). My friends told me it's just an excuse to get away from me because nobody breaks up over things like that, which is obviously true. They said she either lost interest, she was using you all this time or she might have found someone else. I think at that point she did lose interest.
Anyway, I did the good ol' stop all contact (I used to talk to her over the phone whenever I was free). So in a day she was the one who texted me. She said "I miss you, do you really want to leave me?" I was annoyed to say the least. After all, she was the one who left me. By the way, it is important to mention that I have been sarging her from the start (mixing that with a little inner game and congruence), but after I became comfortable I kind of started being myself a little too much and just made her lose interest. Anyway, after that text message I replied with "Oh, really? What is it that you miss about me?" or something along those lines. She said my texts and talking with her. I don't know if that was a sh!t test, but it pissed me off because I expected her to say "your touch" or "your lips". Anyway, I started telling her that I'm not looking for "a friend", but for someone serious. I even pushed the word "soulmate" a few time inside the texts. She said maybe we should start things slow from the bottom, I said that after raising things so high up it is difficult to start from the bottom (aka from friends going up). Anyway, we went out again and then got back together. Also, I went back into the game and instead of sending her "I miss you" and "Wish you were next to me", I went with good ol' cocky funny and started teasing her and being a brat. Whenever I did that she always used to say that I played her but in reality she loved that BS. So after going back into the game I sparked her interest levels back up in just a day and we were seeing each other again. That was the first break-up.
Onto the second one. Things were magical with me and her as always until one faithful day. It was Sunday and we spent like 3 days in a row together (I didn't leave her apartment and didn't go back home for 2 nights). We went to a restaurant on Sunday in the evening and this is where we got into the first public argument. I've been spending more money on her than I like in the past week so when we went to pick a restaurant, she said "Let's go to this one". I said why, when there's another one next to us for 4£ less? I know it may seem incredibly silly, but all my life I have been careful with money and after being with her for 3 days in a row I let my guard down and instead of making something up or just paying the extra money, I told her to pick another one because of the price. She got really upset. I asked her what's the matter and only after some time she told me that I don't treat her like her GF and more like a friend since I can't pay extra for her. Anyway I was pissed for days when I thought about that but I came to a realisation that it was indeed my fault. So I said I was sorry right on the spot, but as I begun to understand, "sorry" only made things worse. We made up, went home and during the night I got another text from her. "We should stop seeing each other or LJBF". The reasons were the restaurant and because I got angry at her when I dropped my coat and she stepped on it. Another stupid reasons to break up. I said I would give her space and let her decide for herself, because at that time I knew those reasons are too small for an actual break-up. No contact for 2 days, she contacts me saying she misses me and bla bla bla. No contact always works in these situations. Anyway, she went to my University during my lunch break, we talked, she said she was just testing me when she told me to LJBF. She said "I wanted you to fight for me, I wanted to see if you really loved me". I still don't know what to think of that or do I care. She has a very princess-like nature by the way. Anyway we made up, all is well as always.
NOW, this is where it is at the moment. The third break up. On Wednesday it was amazing in the morning. I went to her place, she finally put a relationship status with me on her FB. It's important by the way, because this girl is extremely influenced by her friends and puts her social circle before anything else. We had a great time at her place, but this is where I made the mistake that could potentially destroy everything. EVERYTHING. I went onto Facebook on her laptop and forgot to logout. I went back home and during the evening she sent me a big text saying how I was playing her and that she was so stupid to believe me, and that she is now giving me a chance to break it off myself. I was confused, I called her. Apparently she went onto my FB account and read ALL my messages. That means everything I was talking about with my friends, all the pick up stuff, all that I think about her (a lot of bad things), etc. Mostly it's just getting the frustration off, I still loved her and wasn't "playing" her. I was just talking about pick up stuff with my friends, and yes I use the techniques on her but in no way do I think or ever thought of cheating or anything like that. So she read all of it. I told one of my friends "If we break up, I will stay single for a while and will only look for someone new maybe in Spring". I meant if SHE breaks it off with me, I have never broke it off nor did I ever plan to. She thought I was playing her and was planning to break it off in Spring myself. Nonsense. After speaking on the phone for around 40 minutes and me explaining to her that it was all a misunderstanding and that I still love her and am with her in it long term, she told me "We need to take a break and I will think about it. I'm going to hang up". I said, "Okay, bye". Next day she blocked me from Facebook and removed all our pictures and the relationship status of course. Also since I'm a stalker and have my way, I know and see her being on a dating website already talking with new dudes... the very next day.
At the moment, there is no contact, not since that phone call. Although I wrote a big message to her roommate explaining myself and saying I still love her, which is so damn AFC but I don't regret it, and I never got a reply even from her roommate (this is not the roommate that dislikes me btw, it is another one (3 of them live together)). What do I do? After the first two breakups I didn't give a fark too much, now I'm emotionally attached and want her back. She read all those bad messages on Facebook, she went as far as blocking me and is already contacting other men. Maybe moving on is great and all but I want advice concerning me getting her back. Is it the same old "no contact"? If so, for how long? Until she contacts? I hurt her kinda bad I think, so that might not work. Can you guys analyze this situation, feels like no contact is just telling her that I don't want her, but then again, it usually works. One of the best techniques that works on her is the push & pull btw. Oh, and just recently she unblocked me for some reason, which is a sign but I still am not sure what to do.
Thanks for reading, I might have missed some bits. Also, I have messages and texts saved, if needed I will post them. I hope some guys learned something from my story, but I am really looking for help, since I want to be with this girl for longer and am not ready to break it off because of these things.