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  • 1 Post By Shortman

Thread: Am I doing it right to get her back?

  1. #1
    ahHAO is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Am I doing it right to get her back?

    Before I start off, I have to say that it is wordy... Sorry about that but I really appreciate some help from you experts here.
    Please critic and comment on it.
    I would love to learn!

    We broke off arounnd 5 days ago and she deleted me off twitter, skype, and gaming accounts but kept the facebook only to then delete it 2-3 days later.
    After she deleted me off twitter, skype, and gaming accounts I did no contact with her.

    I text her after realising she deleted me off facebook and she told me the the reason why.

    This is how it goes.

    Me: Eh (Her name), I ask (her friend - male) to take care of you is because I am not going to care about you anymore. I deserve so much more better. I don't need somebody who restrict me in doing things then crying for freedom the other way round. Goodbye, and thank you for removing me on facebook.

    Her: Lol don't need to be arrogant, I don't even know what you tell who, but I don't even care. Go find other girls who can accept you for who you are?

    Me: Huh? What are you talking about? Did you realize that you restricted my freedom before? I told you I won't find any other girl already means I won't.

    Me: I want to let you know how I truly feel. So I appreciate you to read through word for word till the end. I don't expect a reply from you, but you may do so. Firstly, how did I restrict your freedom when all I want to know is where are ou going and with who, and also did you reach home safely. You do not have to tell me the exact name, but at least to know is family or friends. Secondly, I did not restrict you to go out with who. I just do not prefer you to go out 1 on1 with any guy or drinking with them without me. You won't want me to do all these with my female friend as well. Thirdly, you can play game with your friends without me and I cannot play with my friends with you? How is that restricting your freedom? And that time I was piss off was not because you play with them without me but you ask me to play then leave me instantly without playing and you did not tell me nicely. Fourthly, I did not ask you to delete your facebook friend except your ex. That is my fault. The rest I only ask who is it. But you not only ask who is this and that, especially female friend. You even force me to delete it, you will get piss off if I did not do so. Fifthly, whenever we quarrel. You only want to do the talking and want me to do the listening. But you did not want to listen to me at all. All I seek was both listen to each other and talk things out nicely. That's all, discuss peacefully and solve things out properly so there will be no misunderstanding again. Lastly, I said I will not find another girl again means I won't. My action and time will tell and prove it for me. And I said I deserve better is that I deserve a better treatment from you, not all these stuff I said earlier! Thank you for reading, goodbye.

    Me: Forgot to add on. I wanted to break up with you but you asked first lol. And I thought you are peaceful and we could stay friends. But if you want to end everything so nastily then good bye. Thank you if you read the previous message, it's your lost if you didn't. Goodbye (her name) This will be the last time I will be calling you that. Goodbye.

    Her: Then good for you. I wanted to end it this way because you wouldn't stop talking. I really dislike you yakking away like a woman. Just stop trying to act big. Keep your thoughts to yourself. I don't need to know these.

    Me: Who say I won't stop talking? I never remove you from facebook just to prove to you.

    Her: I removed because your posts are only shown to me.

    Me: Huh? Oh. You accuse me this time round. Is I forgot to even change. I am not posting anything to you! In these past few days, you are not even in my thought

    Me: Anyway I would appreciate it if we remain friends like before after breaking up. I won't even talk about our past relationship anymore. If you still want to end it this way, I don't mind either. Decision is yours, I will know it is a yes when you add me back.

    Me: Speaking of which, it reminds me only got 1 post is referring to you and one other person but then again that is just my way of giving my gratitude. Nothing else, and you doesn't have to know it because if I want you to know I would have tag you.

    9 hours later... Which is 10pm...

    Me: Hello, if there is misunderstanding about I want to break. I want to clear that up. The reason why I want to break is because I don't want to inflict further pain on you by seeing you frowning every day. So I wanted to break with you so that I will have time off to cool myself as well. And that doesn't mean I do not love you anymore. Remember I told you that I love you till the day I die? It's true. That's all. So if you are thinking of any other thoughts, cast them aside because this is my intention. Stay as friend, if there is a chance to start anew as couple, that would be great if not just stay as friend. But if you don' want to even be friend, it is ok. But I'm curious about one thing, why delete me again on Skype after re-adding?

    Me: Ok. Now I know is that you add me back just to block me on Skype lol. Fyi, once deleted from Skype I won't have any details from you.

    Her: Huh? No. I thought I removed last time before I block, but somehow when I unblocked it appeared in my list again. And didn't know until you online.

    Her: I'm very tired now. Would appreciate you don't piss me off tonight cuz I will really bite.

    Me: Text me when you are feeling better then. I go do my stuff. See you.

    She added me back on Facebook later on.
    1 hour later I caught her playing game with her male friends. [FYI, she has more male friends compared to female due to the nature of the course she is taking]

    1 day later.

    Me: Hmm feeling better now?

    Me: Feel like having a casual talk with you and have fun together but never mind if you are not up to it.

    Her: I don't mind

    Me: How have you been lately, doing well?

    Her: Still fine, no training today?

    Me: That's good. Got, but I will be late for it.

    Me: This past few days, I'd been thinking about a lot of things. Did you learn anything new?

    Her: ?

    Me: I'm talking about things in general hahaha but of course our past relationship as well. But I don't think you want to hear the latter one. Gtg, add me back on Skype and let's chat tonight.

    Me: My phone is still spoil so it will not be convenient to contact me via sms.

    4 hours later... Which is 6.30pm...

    Me: (Her name). Read it all to the end. You dislike me being clingy. I will stop being clingy. You dislike me yakking like a woman. I will stop yakking like a woman. I will be a real man who is independent and will take care of you. I shall make you love me not like before but more th an before and even better! One of a kind experience! But then I do not want you to let me worry unnecessarily. Let's talk things out nicely and communicate properly to start everything anew. A new relationship just between the two of us! Do not leave me hanging

    Me: And also regarding the unnecessarily part, I will not worry over trivial stuff and I respect privacy. Remember the secrecy and privacy? Let's draw a line between that but there shall be no secrets among us. A brand new story.

    Her: No. I'm really not ready for a relationship.

    Me: Not ready for a relationship with me only or generally?

    Her: Both

    Me: I see. But remember this. Always keep in mind of what I told you. You will be my last and only woman and I will be your last and only man once again.

    I leave it at that and did not receive any communication from her after.
    And I'm typing this after 3 hours of the last contact which is 9.30pm.

    Sorry for being wordy but I REALLY NEED HELP from you guys!
    Please help me.
    I really love her and would like her to be back by my side in an exclusive relationship.

    Thank you...

  2. #2
    liukang75 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Am I doing it right to get her back?

    Stop everything you're doing and break off communication! You need to become missing from her life immediately. You've said a ton of stuff in the above conversation that screams "I'm a beta". You've got to back off and get your emotions under control or you don't stand a chance with this one. Keep updating as things progress if you want help.
    “The great mistake is to anticipate the outcome of the engagement; you ought not to be thinking of whether it ends in victory or defeat. Let nature take its course, and your tools will strike at the right moment.” -Bruce Lee

  3. #3
    Shortman is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Am I doing it right to get her back?

    Cheese and rice that was ugly! Like Liukang said, you freaking say one thing, but your actions SCREAM otherwise man. If we can read through it, you know she sure as hell can too. No contact with her for a solid month, like NADA. Gotta start trying to turn this around if you have ANY hope.

  4. #4
    FrostedFluke is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Am I doing it right to get her back?

    Holy shit... I think I just went full on faggot reading that.... Stop talking to her dude, stop explaining yourself, just stop.

    No need to justify yourself. When I left my bitch of an ex, I gave her NO explanation, it made her go crazy! She knew why I left her, she just wanted to hear it from me but I was having none of it. She hates my guts now but that's only because she knows I was the one who left and that I don't want her anymore.

    You gotta be a man, she even said she didn't want you yakking like a woman... You need to give her a chance to miss you and want you... and right now, you're not doing any of that.

  5. #5
    keeksy1984 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Am I doing it right to get her back?

    "Am i doing it right to get her back?" - Fark NO!!

    Reading that was a cringe worthy experience

    STOP WHAT YOUR DOING RIGHT NOW!!!!
    1: You are screaming beta (i.e You are telling her you will change yourself and do anything to be with her, Why would a women want to be with a man who has no value of himself??)
    2: You are giving her all the control
    3: You are giving her no freedom (If you were a high value male you would be busy doing your own thing to even care about playing games or not with her friends)

    So heres your chance, as others have said cut all contact (she WILL wonder where you have gone), Get a hobby or find something you are passionate about, Work on your inner game (Self esteem, confidence) and join a gym or workout it will help with this and more.

    Listen to the advice above and others have given you or keep doing what your doing and 100% she aint coming back

    Sorry to be blunt but you need it!!


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