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  1. #1
    alphabatized is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Advice to get her back - she reconnected with her ex

    To set the story, I had been going out with a girl for the past couple months.

    Initially, we had gone out briefly a few months prior. The first time we went out, we clicked instantly and had a few great dates. Shortly after our last date at the time, she told me we couldn't go out because she had just got out of a relationship and wasn't over her ex.

    Fast forward a few months, she was still single, we reconnected and started dating. The same spark was there again from the start. Dates were going awesome. On our last date, after a few months of dating, everything was going great and she finally ended up spending the night.

    This is where things fell apart a bit. I've had an abdominal injury the past month and was in such pain that I couldn't go through with it. In the morning, I physically wasn't going to be able to do it either. She left in the morning and seemed a little frustrated, but not upset (not sure if she realized the pain I was in). I didn't address to situation to not make excuses. However, a few days later, she tells me we can't keep going out and that its more complicated than I think. Apparently in that time she reconnected with her ex. So I don't know if I made her feel unwanted and pushed her back to her ex, or if she still wasn't over him.

    I haven't contacted since (and don't plan on it to give her space), and have been talking to other girls. I definitely don't plan on waiting around just for her. However, I would take her back without question (might be a case of oneitis) because I've dated around a good amount and have never have felt that feeling of being so in sync and attracted to someone before.

    What is the best course of action? I'm guessing maintaining what I'm doing now (no contact, etc.), but what about long-term? Is this situation even salvageable? Basically, what would I need to do to get her back from her ex?

  2. #2
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    Bandit is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Advice to get her back - she reconnected with her ex

    Seeing as how you're fairly new, I'd suggest you just move on and try to forget about her. It sounds like you've got that whole "one that got away" thing going on that makes a goldfish look like a shark. If she comes back into your life, then by all means, go for it. But if not, then it's no skin off your back cause you've got plenty of other girls.

    Quick note. If a girls spending the night in your house, especially in your bed, she expects to have sex. If you don't, that's a pretty big rejection. So if this situation ever happens again (I doubt it will, but you never know) explain the situation. And progress as far as you can. Make out, get handsy, finger her, get her all heated, then explain that you cant do it. She'll be all worked up and who knows, she may even feel like "taking care of you". Point is, she knows you find her attractive and after getting a taste (no pun intented) she'll want more.
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming “WOW...What a Ride!”

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