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  1. #1
    arsan is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Question After 15yrs of marriage??? Long story

    First let me bring you up to speed: Well like the title says, after 15 years of marriage I had become divorced and have been single for a little over a year and a half. My wife at the time was quite and naive. She had two little girls (1&3)when we first met, who never saw their dad, and saw me as their father figure. They are now 18 and 16 and my ex-wife and i had one little boy together who is now 4. Our relationship hit walls before; not happy to admit but i had cheated a few times and we always resolved our issues but this last time, i think we both agreed we were living a lie and that we were just together for the kids and not in love with each other anymore and we got a divorce. While our divorce was NOT ugly, we stayed civil with each other until she started dating someone about 6months after our divorce. That didn't work out and she started dating someone else, I'm guessing keeping it "friends w/benefits" until he started dating someone else and that came to an end also. She continued going out and i just didn't want to associate with her anymore and couldn't even look at her anymore considering the route she was going in life so we stopped socializing except when it pertained to my little boy until about a month ago around my bday, we made small talk with each other talking about our college classes and she took me to dinner for my bday. I told her I was still single ever since our divorce, by choice, cause I am wanting to focus on finishing my degree while still working full time and being a good dad to my little 4 year old considering I never had a positive father figure in my life. She told me that she was making that choice too focusing on school and work and not in a relationship. Well here it is about 2-3 weeks later, and wednesday she invited me to a friend's graduation party, which was held last night (saturday) but she made sure to tell me " don't think just cause I invite you, I don't want you to think we are getting back together." I didn't know how to take that but I agreed to go. Well last night was the night and she came to pick me up and everything was cool and a little drinking took place but nothing that got out of hand considering my son was with us. We left that party around 11:00 pm and I asked if she would like to go out for a few drinks. She accepted and we dropped of my son at grandmother's and we went out to a restaurant/bar for a few more casual drinks and just to talk about school and work. She sat next to me and allowed me to rub her leg and even hold her hand but still telling me we were not getting back together. I know I was setting myself up to feel dumped but I was just happy to be sitting next to her making small talk. We finally left and she brought me back home and I went for a hug. As I hugged her, I went for a butt feelsky considering she had on black tights on with high heels and i put my hands through and felt her thong just a little. Again she told me that she doesn't want me to give my hopes up thinking that we were gonna work things out so I just pulled my hands out from rubbing her butt and told her thank you for inviting me and it was a pleasure hanging out but came into the house feeling like going through a divorce all over again. Just not sure why she invited me to this function, let me rub her leg, hand, and butt just to remind me that we weren't getting back. She wasn't mean about it and was actually nice the whole time and respectful. I need and outsider to look in and tell me what you think is going on here? Really confused about ex-wife

  2. #2
    startingover16 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: After 15yrs of marriage??? Long story

    hey guy, no offense but i could of wrote that so if you will allow me a minute i will share.I married my high school sweetheart, but not until 22. long story short iv'e cheated too. More then she knows, and one resulting in a child. anyway been separated for three years now and slept with my wife three days ago. that much time shared, holds memories for both involved. Plus a son it would seem silly if that wasn't comfortable. Mine are now 12 and 16 so not seeing the ex is not an option. Decide for yourself What your feeling cause i'm certain that she wouldn't mind a intimate connection and let me tell you that's a very confusing deal. If you look at the big picture it boils down to what you want and how much your willing to give to get it. You can't manipulate 15 yrs and a kid that will always be!! Your question lies in if your willing to move on or not. period as for me I haven't decided which road might be better for my life, but I'm still trying to figure it all out. don't lose hope.She's there to get back if your willing to do it but i like the suggestion to go out and meet 12 to 15 new girls and see if your feelings are the same

    good luck!!!!


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