So here is the break down:
Been NC with Ex for several months. She has wished me a good Thanksgiving and Merry Xmas ect. Of which I respond an hour or so later to with "Thanks you too".
Went out on New Years Eve and got drunk at a bar, dancing with ppl ect. She was there with her new dude and a few friends. My friends went up to her and said HI while I just stayed at the bar. I walked by her to go to the bathroom and take a leak, when I returns and walked by again she grabbed my arm and said "Oh you can't say HI?" to which I replied (probably not in the nicest way but I was wasted) "I really don't want to talk to you". Now my thing is, she asked my friends BEFORE NEW YEARS if she could talk to me if she bumped into me and they told her that I wouldn't be up for it and it wasn't a good idea. Yet she did it anyways?
So fastforward an hour, i'm at a different bar taking shots when my ex's best friend came up to me with my ex's current boyfriend. This is when I knew trouble would start. Her friend tapped me on the arm and said "JT, this is your Ex's new BF *insert douchebag name here". This new guy and me already know about each other, extensively, so there was NO NEED for an introduction besides to start trouble. So I said "yea we already know about each other thanks have a good night"
Then I turned back around to the bar. My Ex's friend starting going off saying things like "If you really loved your ex you would be happy she found someone else blah blah blah." all while this new guy stood there and laughed. So I turned around and told them both to leave me along, in which they kept going at it. So I informed the bouncer and naturally he did nothing until I threatend to beat the life out of everyone coming at me.
So the ex pulls me aside after this and asks why we can't just be friends. She wants to be able to talk to "see where we are at". I told her that I couldn't do that and just really want to be left alone (I want her back but i'm still doing NC and friendship will never be an option for me when it comes to her, ESPECIALLY IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH SOMEONE ELSE. She can't have me but be with someone else). She gets pissed at my response and leaves.
I called her the next day and told her that we need to talk because i'm not going to put up with her friends and new relationships starting issues when i'm out with my friends trying to have a good time. I shouldn't be attacked with drama because I want to be EX free with my friends for a night on the town.
She told me she wants to sit down some time this weekend or next week and talk as well.
She revealed some interesting info on the phone though. That she was hurt when I told her I didn't want to talk to her. That she has "only ever said how i am a good guy to her new BF" or that "her new BF was probably drunk and a little jealous of me"
Why would he be jealous? The only stuff he knows about me is the stuff SHE HAS TOLD HIM.
Do you think my ex has been talking good things about me? Talks about me enough to make even her new dude mad?
I WANT HER BACK, but I want to explain to her in this convo when we sit down that friendship is not an option. (I am not going to settle for that when I deserve more)
What is some advice for framing this conversation to better suit me? I want to win her back and I want her to think this new dude is a self conscious jealous piece of shyt (which he is starting to prove himself). How do I make her leave my place after talking and reconsidering our relationship or giving me another shot?
You guy are awesome,
keep up the good work.