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  1. #1
    jetwooderson is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Just seperated from my Wife, her choice

    My wife requested a seperation 6 days ago. I knew from my earlier PUA studies that I should of stayed calm and honored her request. Froze her out, but because this is a marriage I felt I should at least try to get her back for 3 days then start the Freeze Out if I failed. Well I wound up looking weak, desperate and out of control and it lasted all 6 days so far. I am moving out in 2 weeks and then I can finally focus on Freezing Her Out.

    My question is... Is it too late? This seperation was no surprise I knew we were both miserable and I had always brought up divorce during arguments. But I now realize I want to be with this woman the rest of my life. Any advice?


    Last edited by jetwooderson; 01-10-2013 at 05:53 PM. Reason: misspell

  2. #2
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    blitz8 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Just seperated from my Wife, her choice

    Hey man -

    This is one are I may actually be able to help in...

    I think mine was worse that yours, but I say that because you do not mention kids and I have two which made it go from bad to worse in a hurry.

    My ex notified me of her intent to seperate, but she had already been telling her family and our neighbors and mutal friends for over a month. I was the last one let in on it and I should have known better than to try to win her back.

    The only reason she even told me, is I called her out knowing something wasn't right and she then told me I was getting a letter from her attourney that week! That's right, she already had a lawyer.

    I did the same as you, I freaked. I said anything and everything I could to try to get her to keep me (including shtuff that is no being used agains me in court many months later.

    Now, I don't know your whole situation or if will be a highly contested divorce, but..

    #1 is think twice before saying anything at all, especially if it is taking ownerships for any faults that she mentions in a step to tell her you will work on it. You may have just admitted to fault that she can use.

    2 - Get a lawyer before you move out. By no means move out unless an attorney sends your intent to move out with specific language that it is not for abandonment.

    3 - If she is already beyond the "point of no return" it is an uphill battle to say the least. It took me a month to realize it was over, when it already was and I never stood a chance. I made so many mistakes in that month from a legal perspective while trying to win her back.

    4 - For that exact reason (and potentially others), most definitly freeze her out once you have moved out. This was not possible for me due to our children, and there were many arguements about when I could see my kids. If you do have kids, ask to talk directly to them and not your ex. Address any issues with visitation only to your lawyer.

    Best of luck to you. I hope that you can work it out, I do, but make sure you cover your ass if it's already too late. If it is, try to agree to move on and leave the courts out of it as much as possible. It sucks, I'm not going to lie to you and tell you it gets better soon. It will get better, but it will take time. I am now loving being single (mostly) but am still fighting in court over custody and finacial issues.

    If you want to PM me anything that you may feel is too personal to be public, feel free. I can also only tell you based on what I am going through, but my divorce is just about as ugly as possible.... I've learned a lot (by mistakes) about the legal side... after I took a crap shot to resolve our issues.

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