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  1. #1
    George123 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Get an EX back who was out of a LTR

    I'm hoping I can get some solid advice on this. I recently broke up with the my girlfriend of about 3 months. She was about 6 months out of a 4 year relationship, and throughout the whole relationship I felt like I was fighting an uphill battle. Things were going very well (probably moved too quickly though), and throughout the relationship I think I made myself too available to her (a mistake I realize now) and by the end she got very distant. After about a week of acting kind of cold towards me, she tells me she's not the girl for me, and she cant stop thinking of her ex. It's been about a week, I've sent the occasional text to check up on her, nothing too serious though. Our last conversation I told her to take some time to herself, spend time with friends, and reassess my place in her life.

    I know what you're thinking. I should try looking for other girls, that's it's going to be impossible to get this one back. And the fact that I probably acted a bit needy at times didnt help things. But this girl is really special, and I'd like to do everything in my power to get her back. I know it's going to be hard, and I what I've decided to do is work on myself and keep my distance from her for a while (which is easy, because we dont have mutual friends, frequent the same places, or live really close to each other.

    My question is, what are my next steps? I think we were an exceptional match, just unfortunate timing of things and some unattractive behavior on my part.

  2. #2
    George123 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Get an EX back who was out of a LTR

    Any thoughts on this at all? I realize this is probably going to take time (and she might go back to her ex). I also realize I might be the "rebound" guy, but would like to take action to turn this around.

  3. #3
    shakobe33 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Get an EX back who was out of a LTR

    I am far from the most experienced man but I've read a lot of books recently and received a lot of advice from others. It sounds as if you were a classic "rebound" guy. While it is unfortunate timing, you are going to have to wait it out and see if her and her ex really are compatible. What you have working in your favor is the fact that her and her ex previously split for a reason. There's a chance that whatever that reason was may still be there and kill their relationship rather quickly. You are doing the right thing by taking care of yourself. She can now compare you to him and may the best man win. Just be prepared to put your best foot forward when you speak/see her next!

    I would be lying if I did not mention the flip side of the coin though. I myself just had my girlfriend leave me for another man after 8 years and is moving way too fast with him. I can only hope the same issues arise in her relationship as the same ones you had. It gives me a little hope hearing girls do end up missing their ex.

    Hang in there though man! I truly am rooting for you. Get rid of your neediness and be the man she wants. I honestly think the best man always wins.

  4. #4
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    BatMan is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Get an EX back who was out of a LTR

    Wow. I'm actually impressed that she was willing to admit that she was still thinking of her ex and ended it before it got worse. Not many women accept that reality and just lie to themselves to convince otherwise.

    Well, obviously you don't want to get into a relationship with someone who still has feelings for her ex. It's just really an unfortunate situation and there isn't much you could've done differently. Take solice in that.

    You are right that you should give her space to figure things out and to work on yourself. I know it still sucks because no one likes to lose a woman they actually LIKE. Or even love. Especially to another man. (And in this situation...YOU are actually the other man. Not him.) But it would suck even more if you did stay together and she started talking to her ex behind your back. Maybe even meeting with him and actually doing things with him. Most would just want the cake and eat it to. And almost feel justified in cheating because they were with their ex longer than you. Who knows. Maybe one day she will be completely done with him and want to start again with you with a fresh mind. Hope this helps and good luck.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."


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