Before I get into the details I’d just like to say I was in the game for a looooooong time before this relationship and had tons of fun but decided to slow my life down a little bit.
So, here is my “how to get my ex back” story. I dated this chick for year and a half, by far the coolest most down to earth chick I have known in a long time. Even though she is 25 I am the only man she has ever been in love with. We totally had plans to get married, have kids, the whole shebang, etc.. The relationship was great, we argued but never got into a serious fight. Then one day the big fight came. I got drunk later that night changed my fb status and after that in her mind it was over. We didn’t speak for the next week as I was gone away at school. Once I got back I sent her flowers and left a note at her house. She responded the next day blah blah, needed time to think etc. She decides not to give me a second chance and we go no contact for 2-3 months. Around thanksgiving we end up hanging out at a mutual friends, get drunk, have a heart to heart, she comes home with me and we sleep together. Great the relationship is on its way to being mended….. WRONG!
She tells me she doesn’t want to jump back into anything but wants to be friends and focus on school for the time being. She also said the relationship won’t ever be the same as when we were dating. I’m okay with this as we are finally talking and hanging out as I know I can fix things. But then she totally changes and will not spend any time with me as just the two of us. We end up texting one night and I kind of freeze her out and ignore her, where she then begins to tell me there could still be a future for us she just isn’t sure about anything, not sure about how she feels towards me, but she is stressed with school and will talk to me when her finals are over.
Finals week ends two weeks before Christmas and we are texting, but nothing about the “talk” comes up. I finally bring it up and she tells me she doesn’t want a relationship and just wants to focus on school. Tells me she will always love me but is not in love with me anymore. ( I feel like ive read this here before from others’ stories) In any case it just caused another useless argument and I decide to go no contact.
Fast forward to now, she is talking to an old fling that lives a couple states away with plans to visit and we still aren’t talking. Their relationship ended because the distance was too hard and he’s also two years younger than she is. She has also been very adamant about being friends with me….
So, here’s what im doing:
-Going no contact for a while. It’s only been a month and a half but I might make 6 months or something. I don’t know how long it will be.
-getting over her.
-meeting new women.
-improving myself with, inner game/gym/enjoying life/finishing my degree/graduating in may and getting my career going.
-rereading magic bullets and david d.
What I want to know is:
-I feel her “the relationship will never be the same as when dating” line is just a way of saying she doesn’t trust me that I won’t hurt her anymore. So, how do I change her frame, get her to be more optimistic about a future with me etc.
-How do I stay out of the Freindzone? I have been adamant about not being friends with her specifically because I do not want to be in the friendzone.
- Is it possible to go into the friendzone even after she was in love with me and wanted to have kids/get married and all of that??
-How to repair things on a friendship level and win her back at some point?
- also how do I destroy her view of any other guy that comes into her life in a romantic way?
P.S. if something doesn't make sense ask. There is a lot of information and I could have left something out.