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  1. #1
    Winmau is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Forced Contact !! But how to act now ???

    My question to get her back: Should I engage convo positiveley or continue short responses and laugh with others but dont achnowledge her prescence sort of thing???

    Long story short (refer to my previous thread)....
    My ex cheated on me for someone else who she is now with.
    (I didnt give her enough attention>>> its true )
    This was nearly 2 months ago, in which time i went no contact and went out loads, had 2 one night stands, hit gym hard etc.

    Now after this time we are back at work together like 1/2 days a week.
    So far she has tried polite conversation, to which I have replied shortly or when she tried to get in on laughs and good convo with other staff i dont achknowledge her presence.

    I do want her back but not cuz she best i had, we bonded really well. She did however dump me by invitation to see cheating!!

  2. #2
    Blistex is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Forced Contact !! But how to act now ???

    Are you saying she dumped you before she got with the other guy in that very last line? If that is the case she didn't cheat on you she left you, there is a big difference. I will never be angry with a woman for breaking up with me BEFORE she slept with another man.

    Ignoring her and showing emotional weakness is NOT the way to get her back, it just shows her that she has done the right thing. How are you supposed to support her emotionally if you can't even handle your own?

    I'll put some real thought into this for you, and reply later, but at the moment you have both went NC and you have both moved on. You need to quit sabotaging yourself by being an asshole to her.

    Be HAPPY when she is around. SHE SHOULD NOT DICTATE YOUR HAPPINESS. Even if you have to fake it. Let her in on the jokes, build Tension with her. Stand close when you talk to her, see if you can make her remember what she felt when you were bonded. I'll post more later.
    KISS - Keep it Stupid Simple

  3. #3
    Winmau is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Forced Contact !! But how to act now ???

    Thanks for the response. No, we were texting banter one night and she was saying come meet her at this bar so i went. I got there and she was lap in lap with this guy. I didnt react, walked over like Hi you alright... She turned away and point blank ignored me. All her friends turned and laughed. It was clear so i walked away.
    My other thread goes into more detail on the previous events.

    I waited for a phone call but nothing so 4 days later i went to speak to her and she threw it in my face saying get over it, slightly heated exchange so i left. She was talking cr4p about me at work while i was away aswell apparently.
    Now im back at work she text that she wants to "be civilised, the main problems were communication, she thaught we had just left it, its affected her as well" etc. I responded like yeah ok.

    Basically when we were together i wouldnt commit to her, i dont give up my emotions easily and she obviousely felt rejected and wanted to hurt me. My fault i know.

    I was heartbroken for a good month. Now im more relaxed and come across with a good attitude in general but not sure how to act with her when we are in forced contact. She is still with this guy and last i heard half a month ago was loved up.

  4. #4
    Winmau is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Forced Contact !! But how to act now ???

    Ok, might be thinking too hard now and falling on deaf ears, but here goes.

    Had work together except this time it was awkward, we didnt really speak and i felt she had lost all emotion towards me. I may have pushed her away!! Ahhh man!!!

    Im considering asking for a word and saying this: Im sorry for everything thats happened, its a shame, i had personal problems, i cant be bothered with all this hostility, your seeing new people---im seeing new people.......I have really missed you like crazy but i dont want to let this emotion get in the way of my life now so can we drop it.


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