I read The Duke's post earlier and it inspired me to pen something for you guys who are on here for advice on how to get her back.

I was in an LTR for 16 years and totally faithful. Now that might make me an AFC in some people's eyes but I was happy. That was until I met these 2 (much younger) girls on a night out. To cut a long story short, they both asked for my number and one of them chased me for months. After about 6 months cat-and-mouse, I ended up cheating for the first time in 16 years. She was cheating too btw. No moralising here please because, trust me, I have punished myself enough with the ensuing depression, guilt, lack of sleep and constant questioning about what I had become and what I wanted out of life.

So anyways, after we got together - guess what? She seemed to lose interest when she knew I liked her and she said she got caught so we had to stop. But she kept texting etc and it was tearing me up. Eventually, I called it a day, told her we never wanted to be friends and said we should just leave it. Full NC from that point.

6 months later I contacted her - at the time I thought I was wanting to be friends but looking back I am not so sure. Anyway, she wanted to meet up again. We met up and basically picked up to where we left-off. I saw her 3 times and she seemed really serious this time (she had tried to contact me 2 weeks before I contacted her). She said she wanted things to be official in 2-3 months time and she kicked out her BF to be able to see me. But guess what? She went distant again - when she knew I liked her - this time I knew the signs and dumped her.

3 months later she gets back in touch again. She wanted to meet up (note that she got engaged to her long-term BF just after I dumped her). Now at this point I was fairly sure I could have got her back. However, I realised that she was not good for me and, apart from one AFC moment when I said she could get back in touch when she was ready to admit what she wanted, I was able to walk away again. Now I am back in my LTR, taking one day at a time and trying to get things back to the way they were.

So here's the script. If you are on here looking for advice on how to get your ex back, have a real think to yourself about the girl you want back. Do you really know her? Does she have a history of farking about? Is she really worth getting back? If you do get her back, what will be different?

Looking back, although I didn't know it at the time, I did everything right. I made her chase me, I never initiated contact and I was able to man-up at the right times and walk away.

If your ex is one of those girls that is only after you because you are a challenge and loses interest when you like her, there is only one outcome. Chances are, if you do get her back, the same thing will happen again and again - but only if you let it.

So, stop looking at the 'get your ex back' part of this forum and let her go. Sure, she might regret it (like my ex did) but save yourself heartache and find someone better.

Don't make the same mistakes I did - find someone better and never look back. Walk away with dignity and self respect - be a man.

Hope this helps - even though it is from a lowly (but happy) AFC.