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  1. #1
    Sparta is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default A rebound relationship

    Hi, everyone. My ex of 6 months dumped me just under 2 months ago(Flirtashious friends for 2 years). The reason she claims was because she thaught i wasnt interested anymore. In the week after, she slept with one person and then fell in love with another!

    2 months later and they are still in love. She doesnt contact me but in this time i went no contact. Now when we bump into each other we speak little, i did act a little depressed once but marginal interaction.

    Is this a rebound?? How long do they last?? Can I win back while they are in rebound or do I have to wait until it finishes?

  2. #2
    Learning The Ropes is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: A rebound relationship

    Mate. I don't know why you would want someone back that dumps you and then hooks up with 2 guys straight away.

    If you do get her back, what do you think will happen? Same thing bro.

    Don't waste your time waiting on her - she had her shot at the title and she blew it.

    Man up and move on. It's the only way forward.

  3. #3
    Sparta is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: A rebound relationship

    She did it because i was an idiot. I let my problems get in the way, i negged her too much which was good at first but kept on, I never made her feel special and wouldnt commit. I acted like i didnt care and its shot me in the foot. I stopped doing all those things and now my problems are gone but so is she. She left because she was sick of trying so hard.

    I dont know if its a genuine love interest or rebound, although we did get on really well and there was a lot of passion up until the end.

  4. #4
    Learning The Ropes is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: A rebound relationship

    Hey man,

    Sorry if I mis-intepreted your post but I am glad you gave more info.

    If you were too hard on her, you could of course apologise and acknowledge what you did wrong. However, she might have moved on and you could end up feeling even worse if she rejects you by not responding or (worse) telling you where to go.

    Now if you really like this girl and you don't want her back out of jealousy or not wanting what you can't have, you could try and leave the door open for a possible reconciliation. What you can't do, however, is sit there waiting for her to come back. You also cannot ask her to come back. You need to move on bro and see what happens 2-3 months or more down the road.

    Maybe you could send her a text or e-mail to say that you were somewhere or saw someone that reminded you of her and that you just wanted to wish her all the best. Acknowledge that you know she is in another relationship now and that what you did pushed her away. Just say that you hope she is happy and leave it at that. This is a fine line though bro - you cannot sound desperate or needy or sarcastic.

    So, take a lot of time to think through why you want her back and choose your words very carefully.

    Sure, she might never come back but at least you will hopefully have repaired some of the damage you did and hopefully she will have some positive feelings towards you.

    If you do it, accept that she is not with you anymore and might never come back and move on as best you can. It takes time.

    Now I'm sure a lot of people would say that's AFC but it sounds to me like you were a bit too cocky and took her for granted. So show her a little bit of what you never gave her and let her think about it.

    You cannot chase her, beg or plead because that will push her away for good.

    So give it one last shot and good luck mate - I hope it works out.

    All the best.

  5. #5
    Sparta is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: A rebound relationship

    Thanks for the input.

    I rang her to pick up my blender she had borrowed and we are on speaking terms but only out of politeness it seems......

    Although Im basically going to tell her tomorrow in person along the lines of....Im sorry for everything that happened and why it did but i feel we can no longer speak for the time being. I was in love with her bla bla bla but i gotta let her go. (Even though i havent really let her go) Screw it

    Ill let ya'll know if i get a response if any. I've also came to realise there is is no short fix to this, we're all in for the long haul

  6. #6
    monoposto is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: A rebound relationship

    Yup, good luck. relationships are a bitch, they take forever to build and only seconds to destroy.

  7. #7
    Learning The Ropes is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: A rebound relationship

    Sparta, you have a plan and it sounds good. Best of luck and no matter what happens with this girl, things will work themselves out.

    They always do. So hang in there.

  8. #8
    Sparta is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: A rebound relationship

    Well i went and said what I had to say.....

    I said a whole A4 worth ... i miss her like crazy so we cant be friends or have contact anymore. Out of all the girls I have met, I have never gave up my emotions like I have for her. I cant believe i was such an idiot but she was too big a part of my life to have her in it anymore. I know your in a relationship now and im happy for you.

    She replied with good intentions, we had a short but sweet convo. She said she didnt expect that and thaught i never cared. Its a shame that its too late and i hope you dont make the same mistakes again.

    Basically she moved on a long time ago and i think genuinely loves this guy. She said she was sorry she acted like a bitch but doesnt regret getting with him.

    Its heart breaking because I think there was no emotion there anymore and its my own fault. I dread to think that this guy isnt a rebound, they are half long distance at the minute but are looking at doin the same 3 year course together and moving in. Im devastated.My hope and life as I knew it has gone, I feel like someone has died

  9. #9
    Learning The Ropes is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: A rebound relationship

    Hey man.

    I'm really sorry to hear that things didn't quite go the way you wanted but I think your expectations were too high. She wasn't going to drop this guy there and then after one talk.

    You need to remember that your gameplan was just to let her know that you made mistakes and that you still care. You did exactly that so don't beat yourself up bro. You didn't beg or plead and to me it sounds like you had an open, adult, mature conversation.

    I also think you are being a bit negative here. Clearly this girl still likes you - otherwise she wouldn't have met up and opened up in this way.

    Sure, right now she likes this other guy but you know what? Things change, people change and feelings change. I bet 4 months ago she was madly in love with you bro.

    I think you have done well. You've done NC, been strong, kept your emotions under control and acted like a man.

    All you wanted was to leave the door open for possible reconciliation at some point in the future, acknowledge that you made mistakes and make her second-guess if she is doing the right thing. You did that - so well done.

    Now you have to keep NC, keep those emotions under control and see what happens. But don't pine for her - you've done all you can for now so move on as best you can and just wait and see what happens.

    It was a last shot and you did good for me.

    Well done and good luck, am really hoping things work out for you man.


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