Heres a perception of it all:
We all search this site in desperation, looking for a quick fix as our minds jump into fight or flight mode. We have a primitive, automated fight response to a break up which brings on an overwhelming sense of adrenaline, stress and hormones as we prepare to fight, to get back our loved one. This is often caused by the rejection and sense of panic as our comfort zones are blown wide open.
Little do we know that we are all just AFCs or have communicated AFC actions and are continuing to do so, otherwise we wouldnt be here simply put. Chances are that when the penny drops, we either beg, cry or react angrily. My friends, we cannot be angry. We failed her, we failed ourselves. I personally reacted angrily, she evoked it purposely and perfectly, the reaction she was looking for = GAME OVER.
In the relationship I was always mysterious, she could never figure me out and said "she had never met anyone like me". Thats how to act in a break up, be mysterious. By that i mean the opposite of whats expected .i.e. a cool, calm, collective action. Obv thats likely too late now.
Heres some pointers to WIN (what is winning??)
- Cry your eyes out (not to her)
- Talk to close family
- Visit forums
- Stay occupied
- Hit the gym - eases stress, anger and image
- Masterbate!!!! - we release sex drive and hormones in a bid to get her back which causes stress. This will deplete your readily available testosterone so you will care less and be more rational.
- Try and force sexual memories of her out, all the good ones. It will be a mental fight but if you reject them successfully you will get a headache. It takes practice but your mind will associate them with the headache and regard them as painful memories.
- Go out, socialise.
- Read something and get stressed from something else, it will occupy your mind more as an attentive thaught.
- Above all, write a letter for her of everything you want to say, sorry for bad things and why, that you loved her but discuss how you have moved on and with regret dont wish to see her. (If you are ready to read it to her, you are ready to let go by taking the chance/risk and move on because you may push her away) If not read it over to just yourself, you will feel better.
How do we win???? Only when you truly let go can you get her back because only then can you convey ALPHA. She is merely an option of equal or lesser value than the others.
If anyone is reading this whilst in a relationship - you are lucky - we had it all - you have it all. Peace out!
Please add anything i missed or criticise any points you disagree with.