Ex just hit me up again asking "Are you ignoring me on purpose?" How do I respond?
Ex just hit me up again asking "Are you ignoring me on purpose?" How do I respond?
Something along the lines of 'I'm not ignoring you, I've just been really busy'. Should do the job here.
Remember bro, she had her chance. As your ex, she no longer qualifies for preferential treatment. So be nice but also be unavailable.
UPDATE: My ex and I have been in contact a few times since she first hit me up a while back. She and I were talking the other day and a particular movie (one that we watched together) came up in conversation. I mention that there's a sequel to this movie and she replies, "Omg I wanna watch." I took that as an opportunity to ask if she wanted to hangout and watch it. She agreed, despite the fact that she has a boyfriend. I'm obviously not gonna try to do anything, I just want advice on how to approach the situation. Thanks!
Critical Rap is right on! Game her like any girl you just met because being needy and there for her got you where you are now. When you do meet up, and maybe see each other occasionally do some fun things, and keep seeing other women as well. Show her you have a life and other women want to be with you (avoid oneitis) for now because if you donít you will be writing us again in another month. You have the upper hand now so use it wisely
@flyer1: I took your comment about "showing her I have a life so that you're not writing in another month" very seriously. I was very determined to do this thanks to your motivating words. Thank you!
Ironically, however, it has been exactly one month, and I'm afraid I may no longer have the upperhand as you said. I'll try to describe some of what's happened during our interactions over these last 30 days.
Incident 1: We are setting up for a paint party we were hosting that night as part of our duties as members of a student group on campus. Her new BF is there (he visited from another campus just for this event) and is helping us set up. People are talking, music is blaring, and drinks are being served. I show up and immediately notice my ex. We make eye contact, smile, and I find my friends, while she goes back to doing her thing. Eventually, we meet up and joke/playfully insult one another for 5-10 min. I'm gaming, negging, dhv-ing, the works! Meanwhile, the ex's new boy is chilling by himself in some corner. Soon enough, I end the convo and get back to setting up for the party.....The party begins and the vibe is great; and I'm enjoying myself, not even thinking about the ex. Then, out of nowhere, I am bombarded on my right side by none other than my ex. I am a good sport, so I just laughed it off and threw some paint right back at her.
Incident 2: My ex and I are enrolled in the same sociology class. One week, we had a quiz and my ex couldn't attend (the class meets at nighttime) b/c she was studying for an exam she had the next morning. The next day, she messages me on facebook, giving me the explanation I just gave you guys. However, I never clicked the message (my fb is linked to my e-mail, so that's how I saw what she had written), meaning that it appears to her that I have not opened the message. My motives in doing this were to make her think I'm ignoring her, since it is something that obviously makes her uncomfortable (see post on top of this page).
As a side note: I temporarily deactivated my fb account last week for two reasons. 1) I need fewer distractions b/c I'm taking summer classes and need to get As in them 2) I don't want my ex to know what I'm up to. I could just block her, but I don't really use fb that much to begin with. Deactivating just made more sense to me.
Incident 3: One of our mutual friends tells me that the ex said to her, "I want to know whether he's been with other girls." (Honestly, I had no interest in hooking up/dating other girls. I was just focused on classes and sticking with my workout regimen).
Incident 4: We ran into each other in the dorm two days before the end of the semester. She sheepishly stretches her arms out for a hug and I reciprocate the embrace. At the time, I was heading inside from smoking, a habit I have picked up since the breakup (not b/c of her, but b/c smoking helps calm me down, and at the time, finals were stressing me out). She noticed what I had been doing, and immediately asked me, "Why would you do that?"
"It just helps me to focus," I responded, not wanting to let her know I was in a state of emotional flux from finals. (I read somewhere to show very little emotion around an ex if you want them back).
She goes, "Well I still care about you so..." I don't remember the rest of what she said, but the first part was good enough for me. In the moment, her acknowledging she cared gave me a little bit of hope for a possible reconciliation. At the conversation's end, we depart and she says to me, "See you next spring!" (she's doing a semester abroad in the fall) as if she couldn't wait until that time came so she could see me again.
Right now, I am trying to decipher this girl. She is like a code that cannot be cracked. From being there when these things happened, and re-reading my descriptions of them, it seems that she still has feelings for me. However, it also seems that she is unwilling to reconcile the breakup/relationship. We're on summer vacation, so the only way for us to see each other is to plan to see each other. This has got me thinking that it may be time to finally move on. What do you guys think I should do?
I signed up cuz I had to share my experience with you.
First off, as you might have already experienced from the forums, to become a pua means to become a better person, and alpha male, someone better than an AFC. So can you get your ex back? the answer is yes if you become a true pua (alpha male). Here is how I did it,
Regular sarging techniques do not work on Exes. the reason is that they know you. women in general are much better at reading body language than men. when you are sarging a new set you can project (75% body language) a high value and over time you get good enough to make some women who don't know you buy into that. As you get more success, the high value becomes part of your natural personality (body language) so in a way you actually acquire a higher value with each success. The ex already knows you, you can not just project (fake) a high value with her. You actually have to have a higher value. How do you get a higher value (other than the obvious answers)? Practice! Consider getting your Ex back as you final exam. you cant take a final before attending the class, doing your homework and passing all the quizes. (Classic advice all over this forums) Go out as often as you can, Find a wing, approach, game and close. Idially you must have closed at least 10 different sets before even thinking about your Ex. Enjoy the process. Show some good women a great time. Explore the city with them, go on trips, live your life. Once you have done all this, you will be able to control or even hide the interest that you have been telegraphing to your Ex all this time. I am going to be blunt here, thats what these forums are for. You are nothing but a D1ck in a glass box to your ex-girlfriend (Labeled break in case of an emergency). She likes you enough to keep you on a hook while searching for someone with a better S and R value. She is using the equivalent of Push-Pull method on you to keep you orbiting. She can make you fall to her or out of orbit with so much ease. In her mind, If she does find someone better, than great. If not, at least she would have had fun while having her fail-safe, back up chute (you). (It's all done at a subconscious level and may not be on purpose at all on her side. In other words it is your fault she feels like that about you.) DO NOT be an AFC. Don't be available, Do NOT telegraph interest, become the best version of your self, learn how to show that and she will be running back to you. let me worn you if you ever became a good pua and got her to come back to you. you will loose all interest in her. Similar to how she is feeling about you right now. We always want what we can not have, it's human nature.
I was in this situation for 8 months, before I started thinking about it with my brain. In subsequent 6 months I got better, I read books on body language, psychology, pick up etc. Watched countless pua videos on YouTube, tried the hypnosis videos in there too. most importantly, I went out and had lots of fun, met many wonderful people, traveled with other exciting people in the process my personality changed. Even my professional life got better and I finally got her back. 2 months later I was searching the web for "how to break up gently with an extra clingy girlfriend".
Good stuff.....the only thing I might add is that a lot of this has to do with your age. Most of you guys seem to be really young......in high school and college. Games are much more prevalent at your ages.
That being said, Rod, the same principles apply directly. NC is really the only true panacea for broken relationships. To OP: My experience is that most returning relationships after extended NC are going to be really poisoned and often end for the same (or different) reasons. Your best bet is to sharpen your game and close lots of sets, date as much as you can, and develop as a person.
Many years later, I got my super-lava-hot ex to tell me she was in love with me. But, things had changed. She piled up tens of thousands in debt and 50+ guys under her belt. Sex was great, but things didn't have that shiny polish on them I always dreamed of.
Some things you have to let go.
Lol it's been a long ass time. Haven't heard from the girl in ages. Been reading a lot of "red pill theory" (check it out on Reddit, guys), and am quite embarrassed by my AFC tendencies during the relationship and the breakup period. At this point, I don't want to get back with her, but my ego is still a bit bruised. Hit the gym, guys! I lost about 17 lbs since August 2013 and I plan on gaining some muscle over these next few months. I also finally got the balls to reactivate my FB account after a 7-month hiatus and deleted my ex too. I don't want this girl to keep running my life. Peace.