Hello, Bit about myself. I was on the forum reading every day when I was wanting this girl. I learned so much and my overall attitude and confidence improved to the point where she wanted me as much as I did her.
We are now 18(her) and 20(me) and both go to the same university commuting from different towns 30 minutes apart.(in the UK ) now 90% of our relationship was great, just recently we have had issues, but still we have had great times through them.
She started university in fall 2012 and was desperate to find friends. She planted herself into new social groups and activities. Eventually ending up in a drama group with people who are very questionable. She is a lot more sociable than me and started going out 2/3 times per week compared to my 1. And she started cancelling plans at short notice because her new friends wanted her to go out or rehearse etc. I was fine with it at first but eventually felt like I was being replaced. I made so many mistakes at this point. I had long forgotten everything I learned on here and acted frustrated, jealous and insecure. Sending texts when we were fighting with little digs at her.
I met her friends when I was out and was at the same place as her and them. She acted very strangely. Like she did not want me to know them too well. Later turns out her friend group are all coke heads. I really didn't want that for her so became even more jealous insecure etc etc. When we met in person, we actually still got on just like we always did, but on the phone and texting issues would come up.
I confronted her . Said she was acting like a little kid in high school trying to impress her older friends. I apologised for when I was jealous about her having to kiss people in the drama productions, but expressed my distaste for her cancelling plans and tried to tell her how terrified I am that she turns into a cokehead (90% sure she is using with them but won't tell me, acts nervous and defensive at any mention). I said if she didn't change I couldn't give her my time any more.
Days later she said she will try be better.
We then went a week no contact. I was waiting for her to try initiate contact but none came. I had to go collect a textbook from her house. She said basically "ok we need to talk anyway"
That night we broke up. She said the things I said had hurt our relationship and it didn't feel special anymore. She said we were just different people now than we used to be. She was crying but we still had light hearted laughs and stuff. I said I wasn't going to fight her but I didn't want this. She said there was nothing I could do. We hugged goodbye. etc.
So, I do not want this. I know there are options elsewhere, but I want her back. I have had a chance with a really great girl I know since the break up but found myself not interested. Still hung up on ex-gf. Feels to me like we never broke up. Just fought.
I am meeting her this week to collect things I urgently need. She wanted to just do a handover at university but I said no we will go for lunch and do it.
We have only text a few times since the break up, mainly organising getting things back to each other, I have had moments of weakness and talked like we used to with humour. Her messages have been straight to the point.
I know I have messed up. Messed up the end of the relationship by being beta. Messed up the break up by facebook blocking her and texting her. In the last few months I have done everything impulsively and wrong.
But despite this, I want her back. We have a genuinely great relationship, She behaved in a selfish manner (Almost justifyable by her age) but it was my unmasculine reactions that drove her away.
I need to know what to do to recover this. I know it will be hard, and she may just completely stone wall any attempts at reconciliation. I need to know how to appear desirable in a 40 minute lunch meet with her, and also how to behave to make her want me back, and should I tell her I want her back.
2011 - got together
early 2013 - falling out/ me being wimp
march 2nd- confronted her
march 10th - broke up
If you read this all, I thank you! I regret that I stopped coming here, I could have been much stronger in relationship management if I stayed. That's advice I would give anyone.